Confidently You

Tag: mindset

From Completion to Creation: Reconditioning Myself for What’s Next
Hey gorgeous,

Yes, the title of our blog today is “From Completion to Creation: Reconditioning Myself for What’s Next”

I don’t know about you, but these past three months have been a whirlwind of decisions, endings, and fresh starts for me.
And if there’s one thing I’ve learned — it’s that big decisions take big courage.

And yes… it’s okay to be scared.
I used to think fear meant I was doing something wrong. Like maybe I missed a sign somewhere or maybe I wasn’t ready.
But the truth is… fear often shows up right when you’re about to grow into the next level of yourself.
And right now? I’m stepping into a brand new chapter of my life.

Is it uncertain? Absolutely.
Am I terrified sometimes? 1000%.
But here’s the surprising thing…
There’s a quiet peace in me, too.
It’s like deep down, even with all the unknowns, I know it’s going to work out. Maybe not perfectly. Maybe not the way I thought. But it’s going to unfold in the way it’s meant to.

Now — let’s be honest here — do I wake up every day overflowing with positive energy?
No, gorgeous, I would be lying if I said that.
Some days, I wrestle with doubt. Some days, I wonder if I made the right moves.
But I also know this: it’s not about pretending fear doesn’t exist — it’s about choosing how I respond to it.

And that’s what I want to share with you today —
How I’m handling this new chapter in my life… and maybe, just maybe, it can help you if you’re approaching one too.

Because let’s be real — we all face new chapters.
We all have moments when the path ahead feels blurry and uncertain.
And you know what? It’s okay to feel scared.
What’s not okay is letting fear keep us stuck.
We are not meant to shrink. We are meant to expand, grow, and become.

Here’s what’s been helping me recondition myself for what’s next:

1. Flip the Script

Instead of focusing on what could go wrong…
I intentionally ask myself,
“But what if it goes right?”

When my mind tries to spiral into worst-case scenarios, I breathe and remind myself:
Possibility lives right next door to fear.
Every time you think of what could break, think about what could be built instead.

2. See Fear as Progress

I’ve started seeing fear as a green light instead of a red one.
If something feels scary but exciting? That’s usually my soul telling me,
“Gorgeous, you’re growing. Keep going.”

Comfort zones are cozy… but nothing extraordinary ever happens there.
Now, I see fear and think,
“Oh, this must be important. This must be next.”

3. Get Crystal Clear on What You Want

I had to get brutally honest with myself:
What do I actually want to see happen in the next few months?

Vague dreams create vague results.
So I wrote it down. I spoke it out loud. I painted a clear picture.
Because if you can’t define it… how will you ever know if you’re walking toward it?

4. Create Accountability You Actually Like

It’s easy to set goals and then let life distract you.
So I asked myself,
“How can I make it easier to stay on track?”
For me, that looks like:
- Having a few trusted people check in with me.
- Setting small deadlines I actually celebrate.
- Making reminders for myself that feel like encouragement, not punishment.
Accountability isn’t about beating yourself up.
It’s about building structures that support the version of you you’re becoming.

Gorgeous, if you are entering a new chapter too… I want you to hear me clearly:

You are not behind.
You’re not late.
You’re exactly where you need to be to grow into your next season.

Fear doesn’t mean stop.
It means you’re on the edge of something bigger than you’ve known before.
And you, my love, deserve to step into it fully.

Remember, as my mentor Dr. John C. Maxwell said. Growth doesn’t happen by accident.
It happens because we are willing to recondition our minds, our habits, and our hearts…
even when it’s scary, even when it’s uncertain, even when no one else sees the dream but you.

This is your season to complete what needed to end —
and create what your soul has been waiting for.

You’re ready.
You’re doing it.
And I’m so proud of you.

With you every step of the way,

-Ernelita
April 28, 2025
Winning Starts with Believing that You Will Win
Hi there gorgeous! Gosh, writing a blog every month can be impactful. I am now realizing how much I’ve missed writing. And I sure hope you’ve missed my writing as well. The title of our blog post today is, “Winning starts with believing that you will win!”

Now, if you have been following me for quite some time, you may have heard that my co-host and I launched our international radio show called, “The Leader’s Edge.” And you can learn a bit more about it from one of my previous blog posts, “The Leader You Aim to be is in You”

Chaz Gates, the COO and co-founder of Wondry Wine, is our special guest for today’s episode on the radio show. And the title of his radio show episode is “The Calvary Always Comes”. Feel free to listen to it, after reading this blog first.

Now, I will not share the whole show with you, but I will share one of the messages that he shared on the show. This message is a very good reminder for me, and I just realized that it tied in with the movie that I watched this evening, called “Champions” with actor “Woody Harrelson.” I highly recommend it if you have not had a chance to see it.

Now, I will not spoil the movie either but the message I have gathered is, “winning starts with the belief that you will win.”

Sometimes we are so busy setting goals, wishing to achieve something, and taking action, that we forget the most important thing, and because of this, we put a cap on our abilities. But if we practice the belief that we will win, that is half of the battle.

Why? Because believing that you will win helps you stay focused on the goal

Believing that you will win helps you stay focused on the goal

Gorgeous, your energy is valuable! Read that again! I know that fears, limiting beliefs, and inner critics exist. And entertaining these fears all the time can suck the energy out of you. But what if, you focus your energy knowing and believing that you’ve already won? Isn’t that a feel-good moment? Wouldn’t you want to feel good instead of dealing with the negative thoughts and emotions that your fears invoke?

I learned this along the way of my journey and Chaz shared it on the show too, if we work hard, treat whatever it is that we are working on as our baby. Invest every day, what do you think would be the end result? Success right?

In the book In-Vision by my great friend Niel Magsombol, he said, “Our visions are a glimpse of the future.” Now, in order for that vision to become a reality, you have to believe that it is already yours. It is already in existence, you just have to work on existing in that glimpse of the future.

Too good to be true? I know! But let me ask you this, what are you currently working towards? Maybe building a business. Working overseas. Or working your way up to your dream job. All these things, at some point in time you had a vivid image of what it looks like. That is your vision.

Now, if the vision is in your mind, why is it so hard to see that it is already done? Why is it a challenge to put yourself in it? It is because we lack the belief that it is possible.

How do you start believing? I have my teaching about confidence that having confidence starts with having the courage to take thought into action and repeatedly do it all over again.

There are three sources of courage which is where belief comes from:
1. 1. Belief in yourself – right now, you may not have a lot but hey, this is why you are reading this blog post right? You are working on improving your mindset
2. 2. Belief from others – this could be the faith and support coming from your friends, family, or a mentor
3. 3. Belief in a higher power – this is where your faith is; it could be Jesus, Buddha, etc.
So there you have it, how winning starts with believing that you’ve already won, and where you can start getting that belief.

Another blog post in the books and if you found value in this blog post, share it with someone who may benefit from it. It’s the only way we can spread these tools to others.
September 14, 2023
Everyone Deserves to be Lead Well (IMC 2023)
Hi there gorgeous!!! This past week was just a fun and fulfilling week for me. John C. Maxwell said, “Everyone Deserves to be Lead Well.” He is right! You, me, and everyone else in this world deserve to be led well.

I was blessed to have the opportunity to attend our August International Maxwell Conference in Florida. It is where all Maxwell Certified Team Members meet every March and August. Our mentor, Chris Robinson said, “Stay close to the fire” which motivated me to make a commitment and join again this year and I am grateful that I did.

The Maxwell Leadership Group is Dr. John C. Maxwell’s (Papa John) Legacy. As of today, we have 48,000 members around the world who are certified in the path that they have chosen. Each and every member are promised that they will be led well through this organization and we have been.

The faculty, the mentors, and Papa John himself always over-deliver. The International Maxwell Conference (IMC) alone was perfect proof of it. It is a three-day event for members to meet, learn, network, and grow together.

For the most part, we are all led well because of the following things:
- We have an assigned “Growth Day” for all members and non-members of the organization. This day is full of motivational keynote speeches from well-known speakers and our mentors. It is also a day where we can network and add value to others outside of the organization.
- The second day and third day is more intimate since it is exclusive for members only. There more teachings are done, along with other activities specific to the lane of our choice and status of membership.
- New relationships are built and strengthen the relationships that we already had. I have met so many new people at this conference that I have built friendships and if not family. Sometimes the notion of being in a cult comes to mind. It may be true or not, but I must say the energy was just electrifying and motivating.
I am writing this blog post because I wanted to give you a brief update on my life and at the same time, give you a snippet of my growth journey. With this though, I wanted to challenge you today with these questions:

-What are you doing today for your personal growth?

-How are you leading yourself or are you being led well in your environment?

-What can you do to improve your current environment?

-Are you surrounding yourself with like-minded people who can help you in your own personal growth?

Feel free to respond in the comments below with your answer and I’m excited to hear from you.
August 21, 2023
How to switch from Victim to Victor Mindset
Are you tired of feeling like a victim? Feeling helpless and wishing that things would change? Well, you’re in for a treat as I will share three ways how to switch from a victim to a victor mindset.

I am sharing these three things not to question you, or belittle you. At least have trust that I am sharing these three things because I wanted to empower you! I have full confidence in you and that if you have applied these three things first, you will be on your way to having a victor mentality.

How to switch from a Victim to Victor Mindset
1. Accept that life is hard
2. Realize that things happen for you not to you
3. You always have a choice
Accept that life is hard

Life is difficult – Don’t make it harder for yourself
John C. Maxwell

It was a weird thing to hear this quote from my mentor John C. Maxwell, Life is difficult, don’t make it harder for yourself. I am not going to lie, there have been many occasions when I had a victim mentality. Questioning why everything has to be so difficult. Why can’t I just have an easy ticket to success? And my favorite, Why am I doing this?

Those are moments of weakness. But when I heard Papa John’s quote (yes, we call Dr. John C. Maxwell, Papa John), it changed the direction for me. Life is difficult, that is the reality. If it was easy, then we wouldn’t appreciate life. If it was a breeze, then we wouldn’t see the value of living life.

So, I challenge you to make a decision today to accept that life is difficult. Once you have accepted it, then everything else is easier. Again, it’s not how many times you get knocked down, because life will throw curve balls at you. What matters is what you do once it’s in front of you and this is what makes you a victor. Feel free to read my post, “Self-belief is all you need” to enhance this theory.

Realize that everything happens for you not to you

Life is simple. Everything happens for you not to you.
Byron Katie

This was huge for me.

My victim mentality was so apparent before that I always ask myself, “Why is this happening ‘to’ me?!?”

You can relate to it but let me share that my dear you are not a victim. I wish I remembered where this knowledge came from. But I have learned that ‘lessons in life will be repeated until they are learned.’ You can read that again.

You may be wondering what it means. Well, it means that every hurdle, difficulty, or challenge you face in life will keep repeating. Until you learn the lesson behind it. Which is why the quote by Byron Katie was very powerful.

Let me give you an example. You experience this fear of getting hurt in a relationship because you were hurt in the past. Yet, you noticed that you keep attracting the same type of men who ends up cheating on you or hurting you. In this scenario, you will keep attracting the same type of men until you learned a lesson. The lesson could be; having more self-confidence. Knowing your boundaries, and being clear about the type of relationship you deserve.

So, I challenge you. If you encounter a problem that keeps repeating itself, realize that there is a lesson behind it. It is a matter of recognizing it and being curious about what the lesson might be.

You always have a choice, choose to be a Victor

I wanted to give you a reality check, YOU.ARE.NOT. A.VICTIM! Another trait of having a victim mentality is accepting that you are a victim. But gorgeous, I am here to tell you that you are not. And at the end of the day, You can choose! Instead of being a victim, you can choose to be a victor.

You always have a choice of path to take. It’s up to you if the path that you are currently on is something that you wanted to settle in. Or if you are willing to make a change.

I get it, I do. You may be saying that it is easier said than done Ernie. Remember the first step? I said, Accept that life is difficult. It will always be difficult, but you have a choice to stay in misery; depressed, unmotivated, or stuck, that you are in. Or you can choose to rise up from that occasion. Seek help, motivate yourself, or help yourself to feel unstuck. My advice… choose what is good for you!

So, there you have it gorgeous! Ways on how to switch from Victim to Victor Mindset. And if you found value in this blog post, please share it with others, it’s the only way we can spread the knowledge.

Always remember be…

Bold

Radiant

Confidently You!
June 4, 2023
Tough love is sometimes all they need

Hi there again gorgeous, today I am reminded of this lesson, “Tough love is sometimes all they need.”

My good friend Steve Steele shared this quote with me…

The moment you rescue or enable a person, it stops their personal growth, care for them enough (love) to let them struggle.
Steve Steele

If you have been reading my blog posts long enough, you would learn that my greatest passion is helping others. There is nothing wrong with it, right?

Helping other people gives me this feeling of fulfillment. That if I can help someone with their struggles, it would be one less stressed, unhappy, or struggling person in the world.

I had this realization a few weeks back that I am always jumping to help someone who is struggling. But at the end of the day, I learned that when I do, I am disabling this growth. I am putting a limit on their growth. Hence why my friend Steve had to stop me and said “Ernie, you have to love them enough to see them struggle a little.” This is called “Tough love.” Why do you think that is?

They will never learn

This fact can be applied to your family members and your co-workers. Remember my blog post, “Reasons why personal growth has to start within?” There I shared that growth has to start within you. So, if we are always helping others. Running to cater to their needs. At the end of it, they will never learn on their own.

You are probably rolling your eyes right now and saying, “Ernie, it’s not that easy.” And you are right, it is not. Take it from the woman who loves to help someone else.

The Butterfly Story

Let’s learn from “The Butterfly” story. There was a man who saw the butterfly struggling to come out of its cocoon. The man grabbed his scissors and cut the cocoon off so that the butterfly can easily come out. By doing so, he noticed that instead of flying, the butterfly struggled and crawled with its weak body. The guy had good intentions but as nature has it, the butterfly is meant to struggle a little bit to get out of the cocoon so that its body can undergo the process and have the ability to fly. This is again, “Tough love.”

They will never take action

This is a big one. When you are always coming to the rescue, there is a huge chance that the person will not take action.

Source here:

I love this quote by Aang, from The Avatar, which is one of my favorite TV series and movie years ago. Yes, I am revealing my age here. But anyway, we have to give “Tough love” sometimes. Because if we do not, the people we are trying to help will not have a chance to sit down and think of what action(s) they need to take to learn. We all learn at our lowest points. When placed in situations that require us to make a change, we tend to get out of our comfort zone.

So, there you have it, “Tough love” is sometimes all they need. We need to care for them enough to see them struggle a little bit but with our guidance. For your own sanity though, comfort yourself in knowing that you will be there when push comes to shove.

I cannot wait to hear your thoughts about this blog post. Until next time. Remember… Be bold, radiant, and CONFIDENTLY YOU.

May 22, 2023
The Leader you aim to be is in YOU.

Hello, there gorgeous! Today, I wanted to share an outstanding achievement with you and also help you realize that the leader you aim to be is in you.

I must say, I look forward to building these blog posts for you every time. I have my ‘deep focus’ playlist in the background, as I lean back and let my fingers type away.

I am happy to announce that my co-host and I are launching our very first radio show through Voice America Business Channel. We named the radio show, The Leader’s Edge.

To be honest with you, this next chapter of my life is just surreal for me. Because imagine all I wanted to do is become an International Motivational Teacher, and now here is a platform that can help me do that.

The mission of our radio show is…

We want to attract, motivate, inspire, and add value to aspiring leaders and/or seasoned leaders, who will in turn multiply value to others. We want to be a catalyst for the transformation of these leaders to change the world around them!”
– The Leader’s Edge

Now, you are probably saying, “Ernie, I am not a leader. I don’t have a leadership role at work.” This is where the teaching starts.

According to my mentor, Dr. John C. Maxwell, “Leadership is influence. Nothing more, nothing less.”

If you have influence, you are a leader. There are different types of leaders which is something that we will not talk about today. But to some it all up, if you are influencing someone, then you are a leader. That could be, influencing your family, your co-workers, and/or yourself.

You see, the hardest person to lead is ‘yourself’ because you tend to make yourself last. Analyze this for me, I challenge you to assess your actions toward yourself. On days, that you want to do something but decided to stay home instead. Giving and helping others but when it comes to doing things for you, you turn away. This is because we are conditioned that taking care of ourselves first is selfish.

I am here to tell you that it is not. And to be honest, leading starts with YOU. Just like what I had shared in my previous blog post, “You are authentic, just the way you are.” It all starts within you.

Our vision

Our radio show’s vision is to show our audience, YOU, the work, that happens in a leader’s life behind closed doors. The personal growth that they have to go through and still going through in their leadership journey.

Sometimes, leaders, founders, and successful people are put on a pedestal because of what people see as “success.” But has anyone asked, what these so-called leaders or successful individuals have to go through in order to get there? The pain, the doubts, the adjustments, and the failures. All those things happen in the dark. It all happens when everyone has gone home and the work is done.

So, gorgeous, in your battle, I am here to tell you, that the leader you aim to be is in YOU. It is something that you can unleash, reveal, and hone.

With that, I would like to ask for your support on our radio show, “The Leader’s Edge”, as we aim to teach you tangible tools on how to lead. May that be leading a corporation or leading yourself.

If you find value in this blog post please share it with others, because it’s the only way we will spread the knowledge.

Always remember, be Bold, be Radiant, and be Confidently You!

May 8, 2023
It’s all about the “Present”
“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.”
Bill Keane

Have you ever lived in the moment?

I wanted to take this opportunity to highlight this word, and this blog post is all about the “present.”

You are probably asking, what do you mean Ernie?

I love the quote by Bill Keane, “yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God which is why we call it the present.” But do we live it?

We all have a tendency to think of the past. I am sure you have as I do too. If not the past, we worry about the future. We worry about things that haven’t even happened yet. So when do we live today? When do we live in the “now”?

Today, I wanted to share with you why living should be in the now.

It’s all about the present

Living in the past will not make you happy

Worrying about the future will not help you

Living in the present will propel you

Living in the past will not make you happy

The past is where we will find our memories. Memories of happiness. Memories of sadness. Sorrows. Struggles. Pains. The list just goes on. But most of all, the past is where most of our regrets start.

It is from past experiences. Mistakes. And decisions that we regret things.

Regret in a relationship with a partner thinking that you could have done better.

Regret in mistakes thinking that you could have been more honest. Or decisions, where you wish you could have listened to your gut or your emotions and chosen differently.

A few years back, I was always in my head. Thinking about the past. The mistakes I have done. The relationships I’ve been on. And the path that I have taken. I would always play the scenarios in my head and think of ways where I could have done it differently. Then I would go on this downward spiral. Beat me up. And even lose sleep. It was not healthy.

I eventually got tired of feeling this way and seek for help. I learned how to deal with my own thoughts. Which I now use when I go back to my old ways. I shared it in my blog post, “Quick ways to handle the inner voice in your head”. I recommend you read it and apply.

So gorgeous, stop living in the past. Yes, reminisce about it, but don’t live in it. Take the lessons you have learned with you and live with the thought that you did what you could with what you had.

Worrying about the future will not help you

Yup, worrying about something that hasn’t happened is a waste of energy. First, of all, tomorrow is never promised. Things can happen between now and the future. And there are always variables and curve balls that can change it. Which are things you can’t control.

Steve Harvey said, “If God showed you what you need to go through, you would have never gone through them.” And that is the truth. It is in the journey that we learn how capable we are.

Worrying period will not help you too. We all have a tendency to worry about a lot of things. This is because of a certain fear that we feel. But according to the mindset mentor Rob Dial Jr, 85% of your fear never comes true, and only 3% out of a hundred can happen or may happen. See the odds? Yet we waste so much energy thinking about it.

Living in the present will propel you

It definitely will, why?
1. Because you have control over what you can do today.
2. You can think of the situation and take action right away.
3. Your actions today will determine your future
See gorgeous, living in the now. Being more focused. And being mindful is very important. We cannot react to something that had already happened. And we can’t make decisions about something that has not happened. It is in the present where you can take action. It is in the present where you can make a decision. And now is the time to choose to be happy.

Please share this blog post if you find it valuable. It’s the only way we can spread knowledge.
March 27, 2023
Quick ways to handle the “Inner Voice” in your head
Last night I had to opportunity to watch three amazing women speak at The Rising Stars Speaker Series. It is a local event that happens every couple of months and they bring speakers to speak at the event. One of the speakers, Keerthi Kathi, spoke about the inner voice which motivated me to write this blog post. “Quick ways to handle the “Inner Voice in your head.

What is an Inner Voice?

The conversation that you have with yourself is the most important conversation that you will have all day
– John Maxwell

Yes, you are probably asking, “what is an inner voice?” An inner voice is also known as the internal dialogue that you have within yourself. These are voices that whisper when you are about to leave your comfort zone. Most of the time, it questions you or makes decisions for you.

In my personal development journey, I have learned that inner voices are hardwired in us from our childhood experiences. To some extent, it’s from our childhood traumas.

Are inner voices bad? If you asked me 5 years ago, I would say, yes! But having the experience and knowledge that I have now. It’s quite the contrary.

How? Well, an inner voice is designed to protect you from experiencing the same pain. Or having the same reaction to a similar situation that happened in the past. See, it has good intentions. But the downside is, it can prevent you from taking the next step.

Remember my blog post, “Reasons why Personal Growth has to start within?” If not, click the hyperlink. Personal growth has to start within to battle or to handle our fears and limiting beliefs. And this one of them.

How do I use my inner voice nowadays? I use it as a guide to my growth. So let’s dive in, on how you can handle it too.

Simple ways how to Handle Inner Voice in your head
1. Listen to it
2. Ask yourself “what does it make me feel?”
3. Do I want to continue feeling this way?
4. What can I do to stop feeling this way?
5. When can I start doing something about it?
Listen to it

Keerthi’s speech was titled “Congratulations, You are not good enough!” This speech was structured so well that gave the negative phrase a positive meaning.

“You are not good enough”, is an example of an inner voice. When approached with something that is unusual or new for us. This inner voice usually comes up. In her story, she shared that she had this inner voice growing up. But she was able to push it to the side so that it became dormant. Until she was faced with a new task… being a mother. Being a mother is definitely hard, but a very fulfilling role. I related to her story because I too am a mother. And I didn’t know what I was doing.

I had so many inner voices about it. “You are a bad mom!”, “You think you are ready for this?” The list goes on. How I handled it? Do the best I can.

How Keerthi is handling hers right now is, she decided to listen to it. Instead of pushing it under a rug. She decided to face it.

Ask yourself “what does it make me feel?”

Here’s the coaching aspect of it. Ask yourself, “what does it make me feel?” Tough right? Bare with me though. This is necessary. For years we are told that if you get scared or faced with fear. Like an inner voice questioning you. To suck it up and move on. Wear your big girl or big boy pants and just move on. And I am here to tell you, that is the wrong way. Entertain it. Feel it. Accept it.

“What does it make you feel?” Well mostly, crappy. It makes you feel unmotivated. Weak. Helpless even.

Do I want to continue feeling this way? (Inner voice can cripple you)

Well, the answer to this next question is obvious, right? Of course not. We do not want to continue feeling unmotivated. Helpless. Or stuck. As I said, your inner voice can cripple you. Or stop you from taking action right? This question is important. Do you want it to continue doing so? I hope your answer is, NO!

What can I do to stop feeling this way?

In Keerthi’s story, her inner voice saying, “You are not good enough”, she used the changing diaper situation. Apparently, she keeps failing to change her baby’s diaper without getting pee’d on. A friend of hers asked her a question that changed her mindset. The question was, “What do you do when you don’t know how to change the diaper?” So, simple right? But it’s again, that inner voice has the power to make the easy to the hardest thing in the world. So, she googled how to change diapers, and is now a pro at it.

Same thing with you gorgeous. When an inner voice comes around, ask yourself the questions I have given you so far. And this question is important, “What can I do to stop feeling this way?” This calls for you to take action. Do your own research. Practice. Ask for help. Do something that can help you improve and learn more about the task at hand. Remember, it is all about growing and improving yourself.

When can I start doing something about it?

The answer is now! It is not later. It is not tomorrow. Next month or whenever. It is now!

“The longer you wait to do something you should do now, the greater the odds that you will never actually do it.”
– Jim Rohn

As Jim Rohn explained the Law of Diminishing Intent, “The longer you wait to do something you should do now, the greater the odds that you will never actually do it.”

Again, all results will come when backed up by action. So, once you’ve learned what needs to be done to overcome your inner voice. Do not wait. Do it now.

There you have it gorgeous! Simple ways to handle your inner voice. Please share this if you found value in this blog post. I would love other people to benefit from it as well. And as always, I would love to hear how this blog post had made an impact on your life. Feel like to shoot me a message and share.
February 27, 2023
The Untold Secret to Confidence- Anniversary Special!
Happy Anniversary Gorgeous! Our anniversary blog post is about “The Untold Secret to Confidence”.

Wow! Can you imagine, it has been a year since I launched this website? And a lot has happened since then. And since you have been following me for quite some time, you have caught some of those events.

I wanted to take this moment to express my gratitude. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for supporting me. And thank you for taking the time to read my blogs. My wish is that you have gained a token or two from these and have applied it to yourself.

Now, let’s go back to our favorite topic, “Confidence”. I know I share about confidence a lot on this website. But last year, I had the ultimate realization about confidence. And I wanted to share that information with you. As you already know from our very first blog post, “5 Little known steps to become confident in yourself”. I shared that confidence is a skill. Since it is a skill, It is something that we can always learn and improve.

Today, I wanted to share the untold secrets about confidence. It’s sad to know that a lot of people seek confidence. Some lack confidence. I know, because I didn’t have confidence in myself before. I had to work hard to gain it. And I know, I am still working on improving my confidence to the level that I need it to be.

Now, going back to the secrets of “confidence”. It’s fairly easy really. But challenging for a lot of people.

Untold secrets to “Unconfidence”
1. Courage is where it starts
2. It takes familiarity
3. Repetition is key
Courage is where it starts

Courage is the first secret to confidence. You can be scared while having the courage to try. Having the courage to take action. Trust me, it’s scary most of the time. But courage is what I use to get to the next level of my journey. Uncertainty is scary. But so is winning. Regardless, we will feel uneasiness. At the end of the day though, it’s the actions that you have taken that matter.

I’m not saying it will be easy. Because everything worthwhile will not be easy. Staying where you are is not easy either. So, I challenge you today to answer this question: “What action will you take today to get you closer to where you want to be?” It doesn’t matter if it’s small. I just need you to take the courage to try.

It takes familiarity

Do you know the reason why we don’t have confidence in ourselves about something? Or confidence about doing something? Because we just haven’t done it before. Another reason is that we haven’t done it long enough.

In order to have confidence in something, you have to be familiar with it. For example, your confidence level from your first day at your new job is way different from being in the same job for a year. That is because you have become familiar. So easy right? This is why I have this as an untold secret about “confidence”.

And how do we get familiar with it? We do it over and over again.

Repetition is key

Again, we do it over and over again. But there’s a secret to repetition. It’s not just repeating it over and over again. It is doing, analyzing, reflecting, and then repeating. First is taking action. Analyze the action you have taken. Reflect on what went wrong or what went right. Then repeat with the knowledge that you have gained from your reflection.

These are the untold secrets to confidence. Very easy right? I challenge you to apply this today and share the impact it has done on you. And if you have found value in this blog post, please share it with others. It’s the only way we can spread knowledge.

As always… be:

Bold

Radiant

Confidently You!
January 30, 2023
4 Easy Questions to ask yourself in goal setting

Today, I wanted to talk about “4 easy questions to ask yourself in goal setting”.

We are halfway through the first month of the year. I am sure you have set your goals either at the beginning of January or maybe the end of December. Halfway through the first month is when the determination slowly dies down. I have observed this myself. And to be honest, I have fallen off of what I set for myself to do before.

I will be honest, goal setting is easy, but it is starting and keeping up with it that is a challenge. And if you are experiencing it, it is okay. It happens to all of us.

But what I have learned is you have to ask yourself 4 questions when setting your goals. These 4 questions had helped me tremendously to take the path that I want. And focus on it.

I learned these questions from reading the book, “Developing the Leader within you 2.0” by Dr. John Maxwell. Dr. John Maxwell shared these questions in the book. The questions were a response to a question asked by the author Danny Cox to a graduate student who became a successful entrepreneur, not just once but twice!

What do I really want?

When it’s time to set goals, you must ask yourself, “What do ‘I’ really want?”. Notice the letter ‘I”? That means, what “YOU” want. Not what your parents want. Not your partner. Nor your friends. It is what you want.

Why? Because working towards what “YOU” want leads to your happiness. It will give you a sense of fulfillment. And the thought of ‘you are doing it for ‘you’ will give you that ease that whatever adversity comes your way is bearable.

What will it cost?

I love this question when goal setting. Why? Because this removes the “BS” and tells what I am going to face. I know that something has to give. There will be a cost. Cost doesn’t always mean money. Though that is a part of it. Cost also means time. Effort. Hard work. Sweat. Tears. Late nights. Early mornings. Long hours. Forgetting where you put your lunch. (This is me).

Knowing that achieving your goals will require work makes it easier to face them.

Am I willing to pay the price?

Now, knowing the amount of work is one thing. This question confirms if you have the “Do whatever it takes” mindset as Gary Vee says. Are you willing to pay the price for the set goals you made for yourself?

Meaning are you willing to put in the work, every day and every night? Are you willing to remove watching TV from your routine and read books instead?

Are you willing to cut down on sugar in your diet to reach the weight you wanted to lose?

These are examples of the price that you may have to pay, depending on what journey you plan to reach. So, again, “Are you willing to pay the price?

If your answer is yes, then ask the next question.

When should I start paying the price?

When should you start paying the price to reach your set goals?

I thought you’d never ask. The answer is NOW.

Not later. Nor tomorrow. Not next week. Or even wait for next month. Start Now.

Why? According to the Law of Diminishing intent by Dr. John Maxwell. Our hunger, motivation, or inspiration into starting anything will diminish if we don’t take action toward it right away.

Now, I ask these questions at the very beginning of my goal setting, but in times when I have no motivation. I don’t feel like doing what I am supposed to do. Guess what?

I ask these questions to myself again. Why? Because it reminds me of the set goals I have for myself. What it takes to get the results that I aim for. My commitment to setting the goal. Last but not the least, when should I take action to achieve those goals.

I challenge you to ask yourself these 4 questions. Whether you’re starting your goal-setting journey. Or somewhere in the middle and slowly falling into the cracks. Like I’ve said before, we can bend. We can rest. Even take a break, but we can NEVER. GIVE. UP.

January 16, 2023