Ernie O Dacumos Hi there again gorgeous, today I am reminded of this lesson, “Tough love is sometimes all they need.”
My good friend Steve Steele shared this quote with me…
The moment you rescue or enable a person, it stops their personal growth, care for them enough (love) to let them struggle.
Steve Steele
If you have been reading my blog posts long enough, you would learn that my greatest passion is helping others. There is nothing wrong with it, right?
Helping other people gives me this feeling of fulfillment. That if I can help someone with their struggles, it would be one less stressed, unhappy, or struggling person in the world.
I had this realization a few weeks back that I am always jumping to help someone who is struggling. But at the end of the day, I learned that when I do, I am disabling this growth. I am putting a limit on their growth. Hence why my friend Steve had to stop me and said “Ernie, you have to love them enough to see them struggle a little.” This is called “Tough love.” Why do you think that is?
They will never learn
This fact can be applied to your family members and your co-workers. Remember my blog post, “Reasons why personal growth has to start within?” There I shared that growth has to start within you. So, if we are always helping others. Running to cater to their needs. At the end of it, they will never learn on their own.
You are probably rolling your eyes right now and saying, “Ernie, it’s not that easy.” And you are right, it is not. Take it from the woman who loves to help someone else.
The Butterfly Story
Let’s learn from “The Butterfly” story. There was a man who saw the butterfly struggling to come out of its cocoon. The man grabbed his scissors and cut the cocoon off so that the butterfly can easily come out. By doing so, he noticed that instead of flying, the butterfly struggled and crawled with its weak body. The guy had good intentions but as nature has it, the butterfly is meant to struggle a little bit to get out of the cocoon so that its body can undergo the process and have the ability to fly. This is again, “Tough love.”
They will never take action
This is a big one. When you are always coming to the rescue, there is a huge chance that the person will not take action.
I love this quote by Aang, from The Avatar, which is one of my favorite TV series and movie years ago. Yes, I am revealing my age here. But anyway, we have to give “Tough love” sometimes. Because if we do not, the people we are trying to help will not have a chance to sit down and think of what action(s) they need to take to learn. We all learn at our lowest points. When placed in situations that require us to make a change, we tend to get out of our comfort zone.
So, there you have it, “Tough love” is sometimes all they need. We need to care for them enough to see them struggle a little bit but with our guidance. For your own sanity though, comfort yourself in knowing that you will be there when push comes to shove.
I cannot wait to hear your thoughts about this blog post. Until next time. Remember… Be bold, radiant, and CONFIDENTLY YOU.
