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Gorgeous, asking for help is not a bad thing!
Gorgeous, asking for help is not a bad thing! There! I said it! It really is not.

And I know that I need to tell you this because most of the time, it can be very challenging for you to ask for help. Your ego can be the culprit behind it. It is okay. Remember that awareness is the first step.

Asking for help was hard for me! And I felt the same heaviness in my heart when I had to let it go. The results of it though are life-changing.

I didn’t like asking for help because:

It’s how I have adapted I supposed.

Living by myself for quite some time and learning of doing things on my own. There was nothing wrong with it. It is even a good thing to be able to do things on my own but it does not have to be that way on everything.

I have to do it or else it will not get done

Well, as there is some truth to that statement, it is not entirely correct. I have learned that I was telling myself that I have to do it because it will not get done the way I wanted it to get done. See the difference?

Asking for help is a sign of weakness

Woooh! That burns! I got this message all wrong. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. We are all created unique. We develop skills. Ge the knowledge throughout our lifetime. Which makes us good at certain things and not so good at others. So, admitting that you are not good at something is self-acceptance. You are acknowledging yourself. And acknowledging the people who can do what needs to be done.

I am sure you have your own reasons why you can be hesitant in asking for help. But gorgeous, I am here to share with you that asking for help is not a bad thing.

Why is asking for help, not a bad thing
- You can end up in the hospital
- Reduces mental stress
- Gives you more time to focus on things that matter
- Giving others the opportunity to learn or share their skills
You can end up in the hospital

Yes! You may think I am exaggerating but this is true! You are amazing! Capable! Even powerful! And yes I have shared this on my blog post “Gorgeous, How to know that you are the strategy”. But my dear friend, you are not superhuman. Wanting to do everything at any level of your life; personal or professional can be draining. Some people are able to do it for a long time because they have a higher threshold. And some people don’t so they crash. Something that I do not want YOU to go through. So, my dear, know that asking for help is not a bad thing.

When I took on my managerial role, I learned that to become an effective leader, I needed to learn to delegate. And delegating is asking for help. Not because I am incapable but because I needed the help. I can’t do everything by myself. It is not called a team if I will do all the work now, isn’t it?

And it’s applied within your household too. A colleague of mine shared her story with me. She complained to her husband and kids that they do not take care of her whenever she’s sick. Her husband flat out told her, don’t blame us for not taking care of you, you didn’t want the help whenever we offer it. See the resentment?

Asking for help reduces mental stress

This is why I delegated. The reason why I no longer have problems asking for help. And why it was life-changing for me. Asking for help helped me reduce mental stress. That feeling of anxiety. Thinking that I have to do this. I forgot to do that. Oh, goodness, I still have to do this. Crazy! And my mind goes on this downward spiral that I end up unproductive. In my blog post, “The art of knowing that confidence comes from within”. I shared that once you’ve learned self-love, self-trust, and self-acceptance. It results in aligned actions. Now, this is the opposite. When you are feeling overwhelmed. Anxious. And losing control. It results in procrastination. Which is definitely unproductive.

Gives you more time to focus on things that matter

Asking for help is not a bad thing. it’s even beneficial because it gives you more time to focus on things that matter. I’ve always admired those people who can do their own oil change. Or change their tire whenever they have a flat tire. But that’s how far I will go. Admire them. Will I do it myself? No!

I am not saying that you do the same. What I am saying is, that asking for help on things that are not your expertise can be very beneficial to you. Now, this is not an excuse to be lazy and delegate things to others. It is an opportunity to take things off of your plate. So you can have more time to focus on things that matter.

Giving others the opportunity to learn or share their skills

I said giving others the opportunity to learn. Because asking for help can be applied to your personal or professional life.

You can ask for help from your family members. An example is asking them to help you with the dishes. First, you may need to teach them how to do it properly then you’ll delegate.

Same with your co-workers.

Asking a coworker for help with a project can be an opportunity to learn a new skill. It can even open an opportunity for them to show you their skill and add to the success of the project.

So, next time challenge yourself, try asking for help. Don’t try to take it all on when you know there are people who are willing to help. I know how hard you work. You deserve to relax too and the only way you can do that is to delegate to others and focus on what you are meant to do.
June 6, 2022
Knowing the Difference between fixed and growth mindset

To me, knowing the difference between fixed and growth mindset is important. Read through this entire blog post to find out why.

I am passionate about this topic because this is not something that is always taught in school.

Growing up, I believed that if I failed a subject in class, that meant I am dumb.

I remember in elementary and high school, the classrooms are arranged in a certain way. The ones with the highest grades in academics were in the first section. The second, third, and fourth sections are arranged as follows. And now reflecting on it made me realize that we are segregated and judged at a very young age. Because of that, it instilled a mindset that we are not as good as the ones in the first grade. That’s sad, ain’t it?

At a young age, we were taught that if we are not as good as the ones on top, we will remain at the end of the herd. A mindset that ruins our confidence in every aspect of our lives. Now, this is my observation though.

What is mindset?

My mindset was one of the things that I needed to improve in my personal development journey. But what hit home for me was learning about the difference between the fixed and growth mindset. Carol S. Dweck beautifully explained the concept of mindset through her book, Mindset. In it, she defined it as, ” “the view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life.”

To me, Mindset means how you view life through your own lens. It consists of your own beliefs, values, and knowledge. And the type of mindset determines how you will live your life.

Mindset by Carol Dweck Ph.D

What is it like having a fixed mindset?

Having a fixed mindset means no growth. A fixed mindset means having limitations. And fixed mindset will result in feeling stuck. I can say this because I was there too.

I’ve always believed that I cannot improve my skills. If I don’t know how to do it, I cannot learn it.

Let’s use confidence as an example. I lost my confidence in myself years ago. I moved to a completely different country without knowing its culture. It was a culture shock. Which resulted in an inferiority complex.

I lost my confidence when I divorced my husband which made me think that I will never be good enough. Or I am too much for someone.

Reminiscing my thoughts then makes me want to hug the old me. It was a devastating period of my life.

The thought of being not good enough made me feel uneasy about a lot of things. My work. How I carried myself. And how I treated myself.

I used to dim my light. Thinking that I will not measure up. I’ve always been shy and in the back of a room just observing and listening. Instead of giving my thoughts and ideas. And I beat myself up emotionally whenever I made mistakes. All that made me feel anxious.

Having a fixed mindset resulted in me taking criticism as personal. I always felt attacked when someone tells me their opinions about my work or me personally.

And the worst part of it all was, that I had the mindset of I am good enough where I am and I will not grow out of there.

What is it like having a growth mindset?

A growth mindset is just exactly what it is, growth.

Instead of thinking, I am not good enough. It is thinking, how can I improve?

It is the opposite of “I can’t”, it is saying, “how can I learn”?

Having a growth mindset looks at failure as an opportunity to grow. This was huge for me because I hated failing. I hated making mistakes then. Failing and making mistakes made me feel inadequate.

Remember when I said, I would beat myself up emotionally? It is true.

Have you tried playing the scene or situation in your head? And tried to figure out ways on how you could have done it differently? Or what could you have said differently? I did that. Many times. It gave me anxiety because I know I cannot change that situation at all. I’ve called myself names. Stupid. You suck. Dumb. Which again affected my confidence.

Do you want to know what opened my eyes in all this at the very beginning? It is when I found out that confidence is not a personality trait. Confidence is a skill. A skill is something you can learn. It is something you can improve. And I have been obsessed to learn and improve my confidence since.

Comparing the fixed and growth mindsets

Henry Ford had said…

Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t. You are right!
Henry Ford

Whether you think you can, or you think you cannot, you are right! It is true! Because it is all based on your mindset!

I said earlier that having a fixed mindset will result in feeling stuck and based on my past experience, it is true.

I used to be so unhappy with my job. The politics. The stress. And the anxiety it gave me. I felt stuck. And I settled because I thought nothing is better out there.

I was also scared of starting new. I also thought that if I leave, I could fail. This was all because I had a fixed mindset.

But I had this burning desire inside of me. The desire of being happy. Being at peace. And just being me. I am not saying I wanted to live a perfect life because what is the fun in that right? I am saying that I don’t have to live an unhappy life. That, I have a choice.

So, I took a leap of faith and quit. I packed and changed my environment. Learned so many things along the way. And found a job where I felt like I mattered. The bonus part was, that I get to influence my team

And if you are not happy with your job today. If you asked me what you should do? I would tell you to do just that. Quit!

I don’t care if you are making a ton of money with your current job. I don’t care if they have a great retirement plan for you. Nor if your employers give you a lot of perks.

Quit!

Money can be earned somewhere else! Your retirement plan will be useless if you end up being sick. And most importantly perks are nothing compared to being happy. Happy where you are and doing what you love to do.

So again, a fixed mindset will limit you. If you are content where you are, by all means, you have my support. But if you want more. If you want growth. if a change is something you seek. Learn how you will get there. Grow your way. And I promise you, you will not be disappointed.

If you are doubting yourself, read my blog post, “Gorgeous, How to know that you are the strategy”. There I shared why you have what it takes to do anything you put your mind to.

Feel free to take this knowledge and apply it in your life gorgeous. And if you found value in this post, please share it with others. This is how this blog will grow, that way we can spread positivity and confidence with others.

May 30, 2022
4 Reasons Why it’s okay not to be Okay!
Yes, we are talking about, “it’s okay not to be okay.” But before that, I would like to share a few things with you.

It has been 3 months and 21 days since I launched this website. To be honest, I cannot keep up with the amount of content I have put up. This has been my dream though. A platform where I can braindump my journey. And share the knowledge I’ve gained throughout my personal development journey. Also, share my journey as I partake in being a motivation teacher and coach.

Update on my journey

I have completed my motivational speaking classes. I am now, finishing my coaching classes. And soon enough I will be getting my certification in Florida. Exciting things are happening! With it all, I am grateful for each of you reading, learning, and supporting this platform.

As I have promised, this is a safe environment to share your journey. I want to share this phase of my life. It is for me to say it’s okay not to be okay.

I didn’t get that title by myself though, I got it from a song by Demi Lovato, “Ok not to be OK.

If I am being honest, I hadn’t been OKAY lately. I was slipping into old habits and I’ve let myself indulge too much.

Now, mind you going through your own personal development journey is not easy. Yes, you can read that again. It is not easy. Because if it was, everyone would be doing it. Personal growth starts within you. You have to seek it. And have the discipline to continue.

But it does not mean that you will be superhuman. Will also have a perfect life and everything will be rainbows and roses. No!

You will have down days! Days where it leads you to your old habits. And if you’re not careful, you’ll find yourself continuously doing it. And it is Okay!

Like I said, It is okay not to be okay.

It is okay to fall into old habits.

Okay to indulge a little.

To get away from the consistent norm.

But as long as you know your limits.

It’s okay not to be okay, why?
1. Because it is okay!
2. It could be a reminder of how you were before.
3. You need to!
4. It’s a perfect reminder that you are still human
Because it is Okay!

It is part of being human. I am 35 years young and I have been conditioned with the old habits that are not serving me. Physically, emotionally, and mentally. I started my personal development journey 3 years ago. Though, I’ve done a lot of healing. Roller coaster of emotions. I have acquired helpful, fulfilling practices and ways. But I’ve only been in this game for three years. My conditioning is 32 years worth. It’s okay for me not to be okay sometimes. And go back to old habits. As long as, I can pick myself back up and continue where I left off. Again, it is okay to bend. It is okay to take a break. But giving up, nah!

It’s okay not to be okay, because it could be a reminder of how you were before

You know when you’ve quit a bad habit and deprived yourself of it?

Say, binge-watching on Netflix. Yes, that was my bad habit. I quit it because the content of the shows that I watch did not help me grow. So, I’ve deprived myself of binge-watching. But I did not quit watching a movie entirely. As a matter of fact, I love watching movies. I just make it to a point to watch a movie at least once a week, two at the most.

I’ve built that discipline. Movies usually take two hours of my time. It’s very rare that there is a clip-hanger at the end that I have to watch the next episode. And it worked well for me. Until last week, I let myself watch one TV show and the next thing I know, I finished the whole season in one sitting. Sadly, I did not stop there. I found another good TV show, I was 8 episodes in and binge-watched after work for two days. That did not make me feel happy. I did not eat a healthy dinner. Layed on the couch until it was bedtime. My body felt so heavy. And I did not feel productive nor fulfilled. I even felt anxious because I know there are things I needed to do but decided not to.

I did not feel okay at the time but it is okay. Why? Because it was a perfect reminder of how I felt when I was continuously doing that bad habit. And with that, I will not be binge-watching any TV shows for quite some time.

You need to!

Yes, you read it! It is okay not to be okay because you need to feel like you’re not okay! Don’t worry gorgeous, it’s not to torture you. But to remind you that it is completely fine.

I used to be so hard on myself when I have a moment of weakness. I would beat myself up mentally. And sadly, I didn’t realize that I was slowly losing my confidence in myself for doing so. You need to be not okay from time to time because you need to acknowledge what is causing that feeling. Whatever gender you are, it does not matter. It is okay to cry. It is okay to feel weak. Okay to feel sad. To feel like everything around you is crumbling.

Acknowledge that emotion and not push it under the rug. You have been conditioned that when you cry, you show weakness. You have to be tough in any scenario. I call Bullshit. It takes a lot for a person to become vulnerable in front of others. So, don’t hide your emotions.

Showing your emotions helps you connect with yourself. And connect with the people around you. See the real you behind the mask.

If this is not enough explanation, let me ask you this…

When you’re hungry what do you do? You eat right?

When you’re thirsty, you go get a drink.

And when you’re tired, you rest.

It’s the same thing when you’re not feeling okay. You acknowledge it and do something about it.

The feeling of not being okay does not define you. It just goes to show that you are in that state. And it’s either you do something about it. Or you deprive it. And you know when you deprive yourself of something. It will eat you up inside to a point that you can’t control.

It’s a perfect reminder that you are still human

Yes, it is okay not to be okay because it is a reminder that you are still human. You have emotions. You feel pain. Feel sadness. Sorrow. And the list goes on.

No need to push the feeling of not being okay aside. You just have to acknowledge it. Give it the attention it needs. Adjust what needs adjusting. And move on.

There you go gorgeous, 4 reasons why I know it’s okay not to be okay.

It may sound easier said than done. And here is the kicker. It is easy! We just tend to make it complicated.

Life is worth living, you just need to have the courage to live it.
Ernelita Dacumos

I hope this post helps you acknowledge that if you’re not okay right now. I am the first to tell you, “It is okay not to be okay!”

Feel free to share this post with someone who may need to read it as well.
May 23, 2022
The power of patience in everything you do
If I am being honest, it took me a long time to learn the power of patience. But it is one of the things I learned when I was a kid. Confusing right?

As you know by now, I came from the Philippines. Unlike here in America, everything back home is very slow. If you want to do something, you have to start early in the day to finish it by the end of the day.

I remember applying for dual citizenship while I was there. I had to travel from my hometown to Manila (Capital City) early in the morning as it takes 4-6 hours to get there.

Once at the Philippine consulate, I had to stand in a long line. Wait for my turn. Fill out the necessary documents. Had it notarized. Stand in another line for the cashier to pay the fee. And then I have to wait 8 months for them to verify my identity. Came back 12 months later to fill out the final documentation. And get the documentation as a dual citizen.

Yes, it was a long process and what got me through that was the power of patience.

Instant Gratification

But now, we live in a world with instant gratification. You can now have your grocery delivered. We used to wait for the mail to come, but now we can communicate via cell phones. Our ancestors used to travel days to get from one location to another. We have planes that will take a few hours to get to another location.

We have come so far when it comes to having access to a lot of things. In this, I noticed it reduces my patience.

I want everything here. Now. Not realizing that even though we’ve come so far, there are things that cannot be easily obtained. And rushed.

You cannot speed up the process of how a baby develops in a mother’s womb, we still have to wait 9 months for that.

Having a successful business does not happen overnight, it takes time.

And personal growth and healing do not happen over a weekend. You have to constantly grow and work on yourself on a daily basis.

Once I’ve learned the power of patience again, I’ve learned to recognize a lot of things.

The power of patience
1. Patience helped me realize that anything worth doing takes time
2. Not everything has to happen right at that moment
3. Patience helps you to stop and reflect on your journey
The Power of Patience helped me realize that anything worth doing takes time

Everything worth doing takes time.

You have to write a hundred bad songs before you write one good one. And you have to sacrifice a lot of things that you might not be prepared for.

Like it or not, you are in this alone and have to follow your own star.
Bob Dylan

You heard that right. Anything worth doing takes time. As I’ve used the examples above; having a baby, building a business, and personal healing. And I am sure there are more examples that anything worth doing takes time.

I moved to this country when I was 17 years old. I understood the language but was not comfortable speaking it. Fast forward 17 years, I am now fluent with a bit of my accent. And typing this blog post for you.

An artist needed to wait for the paint to dry to put another layer on the canvas. So, yes, everything worth doing takes time. And a lot of it. As I have mentioned before in my blog post “5 Reasons why it’s important to invest in yourself”. Investing in yourself means investing your time, money, and effort.

Not everything has to happen right at the moment

Again, going back to instant gratification, a lot of things are given to us. Or handed to us in a matter of minutes or hours but not everything has to.

Because again, if everything is handed to you. Then it loses its value.

Reflect on this, say there is a car that you wanted to buy so bad but had to save money for it. The longer it takes for you to get that car and the harder you work for it builds up its value. And once you’ve bought it. You will take care of it even more.

But if you were able to just buy the car. No hard work is needed. You can afford it. Once you’ve bought it, the value of that car lessens and you will strive to obtain another one.

The Power of Patience helps you to stop and reflect on your journey

Also, nowadays, advertisements show that you can get something quickly. Pizza deliveries with a promise that if not delivered it’s free. We are now given 15-minute exercises on TV with a pledge to help us have the body we wanted. We’re always in constant motion and in a hurry that we do not think to stop and reflect.

Having patience helps us be in the moment. Reflect on what you currently have and make a better and wiser decision.

So there it is. Why the power of patience is important in everything you do. I challenge you to reflect on your day-to-day activity See where you practice the power of patience. And see where you practice instant gratification.

I would love to have your input on this post and please share this with those whom you think may need to read it as well. Let’s spread positivity and growth.
May 16, 2022
You are in control of your life and here’s why
Let me repeat that again, “You are in control of your life”!

I love what Bill Gates said,

If you are born poor, it’s not your fault. But if you die poor, it’s your mistake
Bill Gates

Now, this quote will not apply to everyone. And not everyone will understand the meaning of it. I know, because I did not understand it at first.

This quote to me does not only talk about money but it is more about success.

What does success mean to you? You’re the only person who can answer that.

Success to me is living a life of freedom while making an impact on others.

You’re probably sitting there and saying, “Ernie, it’s easier said than done.” I agree!

But still, “You have control of your life”, why?

Reasons why you have control of your life
1. You always have a choice to have control of your life
2. You have the power to make a change
3. You can work towards that change
4. You have what it takes to take control of your life
You always have a choice to have control of your life

I know there are situations in which having a choice to have control of your life is out of reach. There are people from third-world countries who have no access to education. Some people may have no access to money. Or even some who have no idea where or how to get started.

But guess what, remember the proverb, “If there’s a will, there’s a way”? It is true.

And to be honest, most people who succeed are the ones who came from rock bottom. This proves that it does not matter where you come from. What matters is, where you want to go and how bad you wanted to get there.

I challenge you to look at the people you admire; an actor/actress, a politician, an author, a mentor. All of them did not get to where they wanted to be until they made a choice to take control of their life.

You have the power to make a change

You cannot change your destination overnight, bu you can change your direction overnight
Jim Rohn

As Jim Rohn expressed, “You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.” After making a choice to take control of your life, change has to come next.

You can make a change, it is always possible. Also, to let you in on a secret, change does not have to happen overnight but you can decide to make a change now. At this moment. As you read this blog post. Now, what that change will be is up to you.

You can work toward that change

You can work toward the change you wanted to take control of your life.

Noticed that I said, “You” because no one else will do it for it. Once you made a decision to take control of your life. Then started making the change. You are responsible to continue working toward that change.

Say, your health as an example. You wanted to have a body that you will be comfortable and confident in. A body that is healthy A body that you will love.

The first step is making a choice to have a healthy body and that is an example of taking control of your life. Then after the choice comes the change. Reading, planning, and testing what you’ve learned about how to have a healthy body. Then putting in the work; exercising, eating healthy, drinking water, etc.

See what it involves? It’s all you! You have to do the work.

You have what it takes to take control of your life

If you still don’t know that you have what it takes to this date after reading my blog post, then let me enlighten you further.

Life is worth living, you just have the courage to live it!
Ernelite Dacumos

I used that quote in my previous blog post, “You are what you are meant to be”. And there I explained that you are what you are meant to be, you just have to find out who that is. Feel free to read it.

So, if you are already what you are meant to be. That means, you already have what it takes to reach whatever it is that you desire. You need to turn that desire into a goal though. Then start working towards it.

Now, I am not saying it will be easy peasy. I am saying that you are capable. That you have the power. I am showing you that you have what it takes to take control of your life.

If those four things are not enough, then let me leave you with this…

I was so amazed when I learned about The Law of Mirror from The book, “The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth” by John Maxwell.

At the heading of that chapter, he stated, “You must see value in yourself to add value to yourself”. This means you have to see that you are worth reaching whatever it is that you desire. In order for you to start working towards that desire.

It all starts with you! It’s a matter of perspective. If you think that you are not in control of your life and rely on others to take control of it for you. Then sadly, it is true.

But if you believe that you are in control because you do. Then I promise you. Everything that you will do from this moment on, will reflect that belief.

Again, you don’t need to look somewhere else as I have explained in my blog posts, You are the Strategy!

I am choosing that this post enlightens and motivates you that you are always in control of your life. You will have struggles, problems, and challenges that are out of your control. But you are in control of how you will stand up and face them.
May 9, 2022
You are what you are meant to be!
I will repeat this again, “You are what you are meant to be! This may sound unclear but let me explain it.

Before I do, this blog post is more of a pep talk. And I would like to reflect on a quote that inspired me to type this blog post.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent
Eleanor Roosevelt

Why did I choose this quote?

Call me an overachiever. But one of the most important things that you need to reach whatever you desire is “courage”.

That’s it! It is not talent. Not hard work. And definitely not knowledge. It is having the courage.

I was discussing this with a friend a few days ago and he did not agree with me. I have this quote that I created which goes…

Life is worth living, you just have to have the courage to live it
Ernelita Dacumos

I say “courage” because we will face a lot of struggles in life. We will feel uncomfortable when we work towards our desires. But you know what will get you through it? Courage!

It’s been working for me so far. I am confident that it will work for you too.

How do I correlate this to Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote?

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”, well let’s see. Say, you are very unhappy with your current job. You’ve shared this with a friend or someone close and the response you received was, “stay where you are, it will be hard for you to change careers now”. “Changing jobs means starting over, you don’t want to start over do you?”

Now, I’m not saying those people are bad people. Those responses are signs of them caring for you. They don’t want you to suffer in the end. Which is valid.

But the choice of words is not empowering. Sadly, they are demotivating. And if you are not being careful, they can be crippling.

Mrs. Roosevelt’s quote applies to it because you will hear demotivating words. Crippling words. Those words will make you feel incapable. Or inferior even and at the end of the day, it is your choice if you will let those words be applied to you and your life.

Starting over is not a bad thing. May that be personal or professional. I have started over many times in my young life. And so far, I have learned that it wasn’t so bad at all. I have learned a lot. And I’ve come to a realization that starting over shows you how flexible you can be. And my secret, every time I start over, I start using the knowledge that I already have. So, technically, it is not starting over. It is entering a new chapter.

And what do you need to enter a new chapter in your life? “Courage”

Always remember, if you have that burning desire, do not be afraid to listen to it and do what you need to do to take that path.

You are what you are meant to be already.

“You are what you are meant to be” explained

Now, I need your full attention because I wanted you to get what I meant by this.

It is mind-blowing. Do you know that a child is born with his or her higher self?

What? I know, I said that too.

It means that you are what you are meant to be the moment you are born.

Unfortunately, you don’t know what you are meant to be until you have your clarity moment. Why? Because the first 7 years of your childhood are about learning and absorbing. And those are; your parent’s values, traditions, environment, etc. So, you become the average of all those things. And that is not who you are meant to be.

You develop fears. Limiting beliefs. Traumas. Your own values. Your ways. That are not entirely yours.

And then, you go through your journey of being who you want to be. I hate to break it to you, you were misled. Once you found clarity, the journey will be, finding who you are.

It is inside you. You are what you are meant to be, just needed to wake up. You just have to bring it out of you.

Also have the courage to:
- Go through the journey
- Break down walls and barriers
- Start the healing process
- Unlearn limiting beliefs
It sounds like a lot of work. But as you peel off every skin. Remove all the unnecessary parts. You will see your higher self again.

So the next time you have a burning desire to change. Burning desire to do something. Don’t shrug it off. Face it. Develop the courage to explore it. That is your inner self guiding you.

And when you do, this will result in you meeting the person you are meant to be.

I hope you found value in this pep talk and I would love for you to share this with someone who may need to read it.

Feel free to subscribe here to receive a freebie and to receive an email from me from time to time.

Always remember…

Be bold,

…radiant,

…confidently YOU!
May 2, 2022
Simple Ways on How to Build Your Self-Worth
Gorgeous, can I ask, “Do you know how to build your self-worth?

Is self-worth something you even acknowledge? Or like me, it is something you do not acknowledge often?

We all have reasons why we do not acknowledge our self-worth but it is something that we crave from others to see.

Now, let me ask you this if you don’t see your self-worth, how do you expect others to see it?

If you do not see your value, how would other people know how valuable you are?

Such eye-opening questions that we didn’t know to ask ourselves. It’s honestly not your fault.

You don’t know, what you don’t know. But it is up to you to improve yourself. If you have been following me on Instagram or Facebook, you might have seen that I am a member of the Maxwell Leadership Program.

Part of that program is a mastermind program where we get to join a mastermind for four weeks. It is a good setting to learn from other like-minded individuals. Also to have a first-hand experience of what a Mastermind is. Which prepares us to facilitate our own mastermind in the future.

The book that we read on that mastermind was “The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth” by Dr. John Maxwell. One of the laws is the “Law of Mirror”, which emphasizes the phrase,

You must see value in yourself, to add value to Yourself.

It states that “You must see your worth within yourself”. You must believe that you are of value first. In order to add value to Yourself.

In that book, Dr. John Maxwell also quoted Dennis Waitley’s comment,

Personal development is the belief that you are worth the effort, time, and energy needed to develop yourself.
Dennis waitley

Let me give you an example

I would like to use myself as an example. I moved here to the United States when I was 17 years old. Had an inferiority complex and did not have the confidence in myself. As a result, I was so afraid to try anything new. Isolated me. And I settled where I was.

But there was this burning desire inside of me. I knew I can do so much more.

There is so much more that I can offer. I did not know how then. But I decided to make a change.

Fast forward to 12 years, and here I am writing these blog posts for you.

So, gorgeous, I would like you to take time for yourself. Look in the mirror. And ask yourself these questions:

Do I value myself?

Am I aware of my self-worth?

If you are unsure of the answer. Or if you know the answer but are not fully confident. I have provided ways how to build your self-worth below.

Ways on How to Build your self-worth
- Positive Self-talk can build your self-worth
- Don’t listen to the nay-sayers
- Move beyond your limiting beliefs
- Practice the high-five habit
- Reading and learning can build your self-worth
Positive self-talk can build your self-worth

I cannot express this enough. Choosing positive self-talk versus negative self-talk will uplift you.

Go ahead and try it. Look in the mirror and say these things to yourself…

I am ugly. And then say, I am authentic. Which one is more uplifting?

The words you say after, “I am” can either uplift you or damage you inside.

Don’t listen to the nay-sayers

Now, I will be bold, I do not care if it is your partner. If it is your mom. Or it’s your best friend. If you have a desire to do something that will help you improve your future, do it!

Do not listen to the people who will tell you that you can’t. I recommend listening to people who are in the field. People who are doing what you wanted to do. Or more so, listen to people who have done it.

The people who are preventing you from taking action towards what you want will have good intentions. But they do not share the same vision. They do not share the same desire.

Move beyond your limiting beliefs

Yes gorgeous, move beyond your limiting beliefs. It is the only way. You will have fears. Limiting beliefs will cripple you. You have to move past that. It will be nerve-wracking. It will be scary. I promise you though, once you’ve moved passed it. You will unstoppable.

Practice the high-five habit

I got this technique from Mel Robin’s book, “The high-five habit”. I highly recommend it. You will have down days. Days where you will feel like shit. You will have days where failure is apparent. We will get through it. And it’s okay. But if you practice the high-five habit. Where you give yourself a high-five in the mirror. Go ahead and do it right now.

When you do this, you are telling yourself, you got this. It is expressing to yourself that it’s okay. And sometimes, that is all you need to move forward.

Reading and learning can build your self-worth

Again, “You must see your value, to add value to yourself” according to Dr. John Maxwell. Now that you are building your self-worth. It is time to invest in you.

Continuing to learn and read helped me grow. And as human beings, we are designed to grow.

If you like to read more about staying positive and building your self-worth, click on the links: Happiness Starts with you and It starts with Self-love, 4 Ways to keep positivity in your life.

There it is gorgeous! Again, if you are reading this blog post, I would love to hear your takeaway. And as always share it with others who may need to learn it too.
April 25, 2022
How to take action despite lack of inspiration
Lack of inspiration or motivation is something that you would experience. Which is normal. But it is what we do next matters.

In my personal development journey, I have come across days of just pure lack of inspiration.

That moment when you get home from work and all you wanted to do is sit back. Relax. Or watch a movie on Netflix.

There would be times on the weekend when you just want to sleep in and forget about the load of tasks you have set for yourself that day.

Even times when you just want to leave the house and hang out with friends in the evening and have some fun.

Lastly, there will be moments where you will ask yourself, why do I have to take a different route than everyone else?

My answer to those questions? Because you decided to make an impact and live a purposeful life.

When I had clarity of who I am meant to become, which is an International Motivational Speaker. I lost count of how many times I asked, “how in the world will I be able to fulfill that purpose?” But despite not knowing, I am reminded why I want to become one. And I will trust that my Creator will lead the way.

Just like what Mr. John Maxwell stated in his book, The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth,

There are things in life that you have to work for and there are things you have to wait for.
John Maxwell

In this blog post, I would like to share how to keep taking action despite a lack of inspiration. More so, to avoid procrastination.

Tips on how to take action despite lack of inspiration
- Asking the question, Is this getting me closer or getting me farther?
- I have to versus I get to (Mindset)
- Take the next step on the task when you lack inspiration
Asking the question, “Is this getting me closer or getting me farther?

H.P. Liddon, chancellor of St. Paul’s in London, observed…

What we do on some great occasion will depend on what we are; and what we are will be the result of previous years of self-discipline”

Yes, it takes self-discipline to stay consistent. But it does not mean that you will always be motivated. Just like what I’ve shared in my previous blog post, “Reasons why consistency is key to everything”. We will not have the motivation to take action all the time, but since you have been taking action day in and day out. It will become a habit.

But I know there are still days when motivation and consistency are not enough. Trust me, it happens!

And on days when lack of inspiration comes, I ask myself, “Is this getting me closer, or getting me farther?”

I’ve provided example scenarios below for you:

“Is sitting here and watching a movie from Netflix for two hours getting me closer or getting me farther from finishing the book that I am reading?”

“Is going to a club tonight getting me closer or further from finishing the classes that I promise myself I will study tonight?”

This question instantly lights up a fire in me to take action.

“I have to” versus “I get to” (mindset)

I have learned this way of thinking from Mr. David Meltzer. He is a Speaker, Author, Sports Executive, Investor, and Entrepreneur, and is well known on social media.

The teaching was, instead of thinking, “I have to”, why not say, “I get to”?

Mindset mentor Rob Dial Jr., also confirmed this mindset. Saying “I have to” makes you feel like you are doing a chore. But saying, “I get to” gives you that power and thinking that you are in control. Which is true!

According to the World Population Review website, 166,279 people die in a day. And here you are, alive and well. Those people will never fulfill their goals in life. And you do! You ‘get to’ work on your dreams.

Imagine those people who are bed-ridden and stuck in the hospital. They are not able to go to the gym and exercise. You ‘get to’ do that!

You see, there are things in life that we don’t realize we take for granted. Unless it is laid in front of us.

So, in times when you lack the inspiration to do something, think about this perspective.

Take the next step on the task when you lack inspiration

Alright, gorgeous! When all else fails, here is another tip for you. Do it one step at a time.

This is something I do more often. Especially when I feel like I am beat and my hormones are overtaking me. And my actions. I take action by taking the next step on whatever it is I want to do.

For example, if I were to write the next blog post and I lack the inspiration to do so, I will take the next step. What is the next step? Well, the next step is to sit in front of a computer. Then turn on the computer. Opening “WordPress”. After that, start typing. It doesn’t matter what I am typing, just start. I find this very effective every time.

Another example of something I lack inspiration for most of the time is going to the gym. After a long day at work, and like I said earlier, it’s nice to just sit down and relax. What I would do is go to my room and pick out my gym clothes. I would wear them. Then head to my car. By that time, I am driving toward the gym.

Once I am at the gym, the voice in my head would start panicking and tell me, I need to relax and rest. Now, I know that I get to relax and rest plenty. It’s not something I need at the moment. I would just hop on a treadmill, and put my high vibration music on. The next thing I know, I am jogging and jiving to my music.

There you are gorgeous, here are my secrets on how to take action despite lack of inspiration. I would love to hear your input in the comments below.

And as always,

Be bold,

Be radiant,

Be confidently you!
April 18, 2022
Unspoken techniques to deal with Imposter Syndrome
How do we deal with Imposter syndrome?

You may have come across a few articles on how to overcome Imposter syndrome. But is it really something we overcome?

In my journey, I have learned that it is more effectiveto work with Imposter Syndrome. Than than overcoming it. I personally believe that it is not something we overcome. We will come across events and scenarios in our life where we will again face imposter syndrome.

It is a matter of how we deal with the imposter syndrome at that time.

What is Imposter Syndrome?

According to Webster’s dictionary, Imposter syndrome is defined as :

a psychological condition that is characterized by persistent doubt concerning one’s abilities or accomplishments accompanied by the fear of being exposed as a fraud despite evidence of one’s ongoing success

To me, imposter syndrome is that feeling of not being good enough. Despite all the achievements one has achieved. I have experienced this throughout my journey. Personal and Professional.

The thoughts…

Who do you think you are?

Do you really think you can do it?

How will you do it?

Who are you to do it?

Again, these thoughts are not very motivating. These questions are the ones that will make you feel like you are in a fight or flight mode. It is not a good feeling.

This is why I am writing this blog post to share how I deal with Imposter Syndrome.

Techniques on how to deal with imposter syndrome
1. Surround yourself with people who will push you and support you.
2. Talk and confide with people you trust
3. Do it scared
4. Record and celebrate your accomplishments
5. Improve yourself and be teachable
6. Stop comparing yourself with others
7. Learn from each setback, challenge, and problem that you will face
Surround yourself with people who will push you and support you

You are the average of the five people you hang out with.
Jim Rohn

According to Jim Rohn, “You are the average of the five people you hang out with. I find this comment true.

If you hang out with the five most hard-working people, you will be the six. If you hang out with the five smartest people you will be the six. If you hang out with the five most successful people you will be the six.

And if you hang out with the five most negative people, you will be the six.

You see, the people you surround yourself with, according to Rob Dial, can either be a battery or a vacuum.

Those people can either give you energy or suck the energy out of you. So, be mindful of the people you spend time with.

Talk and confide with the people you trust

What do I mean by this?

There will be situations in your life when fear and limiting beliefs will hinder you. Hinder meaning prevent you from taking action on whatever it is you want to do.

One perfect example was when I was asked if I would like to speak on a podcast as a guest. I was very excited then so I accepted the offer.

I was filling out the registration form and all of a sudden my imposter syndrome came at me. I had this thought that I cannot do the podcast because I am not qualified enough. I reached out to the host and advised her that I no longer want to do the podcast.

She was very patient with me, we hopped on a call and talked it through. I confided with her and shared the reasons why I no longer wanted to proceed with the podcast. That call ended on a positive note and I ended up realizing that I was having the imposter syndrome . I ended up doing the podcast and did really well.

So, again, surround yourself with the right people. Confide in them, and they will push you where you wanted to go, they will help you get there. Versus running away, and hiding, and just not asking for help.

Do it scared

I did this a lot. The way I deal with my imposter syndrome is acknowledging that it is there and taking action anyway. I did not have confidence in myself at the beginning of my journey. And I know that I can till improve my confidence right now. But when I started, I did it scared.

Before I had this fear of doing a ‘go-live’ on social media. I remember the very first time I went live. I was at a waterfront for an hour trying to gather the courage to press the go-live button on my phone. I was so scared, I was sweating, and I did not know what to do. I did it anyway. The live video last for 3 minutes. I forgot about the fear and started talking and the words came out naturally. My voice was cracking. I was trying to catch my breath. But I still did it.

So again, do it scared gorgeous. I promise you, you will be surprised of how much you can do by using this technique.

Record and celebrate your accomplishments

This technique is very important gorgeous because you will have a lot of wins in your journey. That is if you choose to take action. It will be so much that you forget what accomplishments and wins you’ve done.

Lack of reminder of your accomplishments helps imposter syndrome find a way to overpower you.

I journal all my wins. Big and small. And I celebrate each one of them. Yes, each one! You should too! You deserve it!

Improve yourself and be teachable

Humans are designed for growth. Continously learning and growing helped me build the confidence I needed to deal with imposter syndrome. Personal development was crucial to get me where I needed to be. It was crucial to reach the next level of my journey. Now, there is a difference from academic learning and personal development. Personal development is working with YOU.

Working in your own growth. Learning life skills that will help propel you forward. Learning information that are not taught in school.

We now live in a generation where you can get information easily. You just have the initiative to learn. Read a book. Listen to podcast. Join a mastermind. Be an avid learner. And I promise you, you will see, feel, and think differently.

Stop comparing yourself with others

Let me say that again, stop comparing yourself with others.

Remember, I shared how I decided to back out on an opportunity to speak on a podcast intervew? That was because I compared myself to others. I compared myself to the other speakers and thought that I was not as successful like them. I was not as skillful as them.

Chabidaye, the host of that podcast reminded me that I should not compare myself to others. The only person I can compare myself with was the person I was yesterday. So, gorgeous this is for you too. You are smart, capable, and authentic just by being You!

Learn from each setback, challenge, and problem that you will face

This technique was huge for me. I have encountered a lot of adversities in my journey. A lot of setbacks. A lot of struggles. And yes, they will come.

You should expect those adversities, setbacks, and struggles in your journey. Life will suck. Life will feel unfair. Life will feel like you shouldn’t move forward.

Now my question is, what will be your next move?

Will you give up or you will learn from the setback. Will you throw in the towel or will you analyze what went wrong? Will you let adversities cripple you, or will you get back up and try again?

So there you are gorgeous, the techniques I used on how to deal with imposter syndrome. Let me know your thoughts about this post through the comments below. Share this to someone who may need to hear it as well. Let’s spread positivity and motivation around. Remember…

Be bold

Be radiant

Be confidently YOU!
April 11, 2022
Reasons why Consistency is key to everything
Consistency is key to everything! Yes, gorgeous! You read that right. Being consistent is the key to everything.

It is the key to becoming good at what you want to do. It is the key to getting the job that you want. It is the key to building confidence. It is the key to becoming successful.

Here I am motivating you, yet I tell you that the key to everything is consistency and not motivation. Trust me, I was shocked too.

Why motivation is not the key to success is, because motivation only lasts for so long. You can be listening to a podcast and it will get you all fired up for the day then you need to replenish that motivation.

You can go to a motivational speaking conference, again all fired up. And you cannot wait to go out there and start doing the thing that you wanted to do and it’s all great. But this is a big but, there will be days when you will not be motivated. There will be days when you will not feel like doing the things you promised yourself to do.

And on those days, is when consistency makes an impact.

Why? Well, let me show you the reasons why consistency is key to everything.

Reasons why consistency is key to everything
1. Consistently doing something gives you results
2. Consistency compounds
3. It makes the task feel lighter, bearable, and manageable
4. It gives you confidence in yourself
5. Consistency results in credibility
Consistently doing something gives you results

How does consistently doing something give results?

Let me give you an example. Let’s say there is a tree in your backyard that you have been wanting to cut for a long time. Every time you see the tree and it is growing bigger and bigger, the more urge you have to cut it.

But having the urge will not give you the results right?

Thinking about cutting the tree every day will also not give you the results.

Grabbing an ax and starting to cut the tree will give you the results. Not just give you results but will show you the results.

Consistency compounds

Yes, it does compound! What do I mean by it?

Let’s use the tree problem as an example and apply it to your busy life. I understand that you are busy. I understand that you have a life to live so if you want to be good at something you have to make time for it.

Let’s say that in a day, you can only go to the backyard and hit the tree with the ax five times. Again, the next day you hit the tree with the ax fix times.

Do you see the logic? Every action that you take. May it be big or small. It compounds. Hitting the tree every day has a compounding result because you are not starting over again. You are starting where you left off the day before.

Another example is investing. Putting money in to invest every month for the next ten years will compound. Because every time you put money in, you are not starting where you initially started. The interest accrues on the amount that is currently on the investment.

Consistency is key because it makes the task feel lighter, bearable, and manageable

Staying consistent makes the task feel lighter, bearable, and manageable. How? Because doing something over and over and over again every day actually builds a habit.

It will suck at first, that’s for sure. But once you consistently do it, your body gets used to it. Let’s use the tree concept again.

As I said, we do not have a lot of time in a day to get something done. And sometimes, at the end of the day, you will not have the motivation to get up and hit the tree with an ax. But since you have been doing it for weeks since maybe it’s a big tree. And it has become a part of your habit. Your body will automatically get out of the house. Go to the backyard. Pick up the ax and start hitting on that tree five times.

Consistency is key because it gives you confidence in yourself

Remember Mel Robbin’s definition of confidence in my blog post, “The art of knowing that confidence comes from within”? I shared her competence confidence loop.

It shows that to gain confidence, you have to be competent at it first. To become competent, you have to do the task over and over again. That is consistency!

Consistency results in credibility

Last but not the least, consistency results in credibility. Doing the work will start with you. Doing the work will give and show results. It will be building a habit. And it will give you that confidence that you have been working on every day consistently.

After all, this is done, the result will become visible to others as well. Others will see the outcome but not the effort. Once they see the outcome though, others will see you as credible to teach and show them the effort needed to get the results.

Credibility can also be credibility in yourself. The more you face another task to do. The more you practice consistency. The more you build that credibility in yourself that you know you will get to where you want to be. And that is because you know the secret recipe on how to get there.

And that’s it gorgeous! The reasons why consistency is the key to everything. Let me know what your key takeaway from this post in the comments below, I love to hear your input. Also, do not forget to subscribe for any random motivational emails from me.
April 4, 2022