Gorgeous, asking for help is not a bad thing! There! I said it! It really is not.
And I know that I need to tell you this because most of the time, it can be very challenging for you to ask for help. Your ego can be the culprit behind it. It is okay. Remember that awareness is the first step.
Asking for help was hard for me! And I felt the same heaviness in my heart when I had to let it go. The results of it though are life-changing.
I didn’t like asking for help because:
It’s how I have adapted I supposed.
Living by myself for quite some time and learning of doing things on my own. There was nothing wrong with it. It is even a good thing to be able to do things on my own but it does not have to be that way on everything.
I have to do it or else it will not get done
Well, as there is some truth to that statement, it is not entirely correct. I have learned that I was telling myself that I have to do it because it will not get done the way I wanted it to get done. See the difference?
Asking for help is a sign of weakness
Woooh! That burns! I got this message all wrong. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. We are all created unique. We develop skills. Ge the knowledge throughout our lifetime. Which makes us good at certain things and not so good at others. So, admitting that you are not good at something is self-acceptance. You are acknowledging yourself. And acknowledging the people who can do what needs to be done.
I am sure you have your own reasons why you can be hesitant in asking for help. But gorgeous, I am here to share with you that asking for help is not a bad thing.
Why is asking for help, not a bad thing
- You can end up in the hospital
- Reduces mental stress
- Gives you more time to focus on things that matter
- Giving others the opportunity to learn or share their skills
You can end up in the hospital
Yes! You may think I am exaggerating but this is true! You are amazing! Capable! Even powerful! And yes I have shared this on my blog post “Gorgeous, How to know that you are the strategy”. But my dear friend, you are not superhuman. Wanting to do everything at any level of your life; personal or professional can be draining. Some people are able to do it for a long time because they have a higher threshold. And some people don’t so they crash. Something that I do not want YOU to go through. So, my dear, know that asking for help is not a bad thing.
When I took on my managerial role, I learned that to become an effective leader, I needed to learn to delegate. And delegating is asking for help. Not because I am incapable but because I needed the help. I can’t do everything by myself. It is not called a team if I will do all the work now, isn’t it?
And it’s applied within your household too. A colleague of mine shared her story with me. She complained to her husband and kids that they do not take care of her whenever she’s sick. Her husband flat out told her, don’t blame us for not taking care of you, you didn’t want the help whenever we offer it. See the resentment?
Asking for help reduces mental stress
This is why I delegated. The reason why I no longer have problems asking for help. And why it was life-changing for me. Asking for help helped me reduce mental stress. That feeling of anxiety. Thinking that I have to do this. I forgot to do that. Oh, goodness, I still have to do this. Crazy! And my mind goes on this downward spiral that I end up unproductive. In my blog post, “The art of knowing that confidence comes from within”. I shared that once you’ve learned self-love, self-trust, and self-acceptance. It results in aligned actions. Now, this is the opposite. When you are feeling overwhelmed. Anxious. And losing control. It results in procrastination. Which is definitely unproductive.
Gives you more time to focus on things that matter
Asking for help is not a bad thing. it’s even beneficial because it gives you more time to focus on things that matter. I’ve always admired those people who can do their own oil change. Or change their tire whenever they have a flat tire. But that’s how far I will go. Admire them. Will I do it myself? No!
I am not saying that you do the same. What I am saying is, that asking for help on things that are not your expertise can be very beneficial to you. Now, this is not an excuse to be lazy and delegate things to others. It is an opportunity to take things off of your plate. So you can have more time to focus on things that matter.
Giving others the opportunity to learn or share their skills
I said giving others the opportunity to learn. Because asking for help can be applied to your personal or professional life.
You can ask for help from your family members. An example is asking them to help you with the dishes. First, you may need to teach them how to do it properly then you’ll delegate.
Same with your co-workers.
Asking a coworker for help with a project can be an opportunity to learn a new skill. It can even open an opportunity for them to show you their skill and add to the success of the project.
So, next time challenge yourself, try asking for help. Don’t try to take it all on when you know there are people who are willing to help. I know how hard you work. You deserve to relax too and the only way you can do that is to delegate to others and focus on what you are meant to do.