What is confidence?
Before reading through this, stop and ask yourself this question, what is confidence?
What is the first answer that comes to mind?
As you may have read in my very first blog post; “5 Little known Steps to become confident in yourself”. I have explained the definition of this word.
In the blog post, I used Mel Robbins’ definition of confidence as applied to the concept of the “Competence confidence loop”. Though it is one perfect definition of the word, there are other definitions to it. I am sure you have your definition too.
Confidence to me is a lot of things. But most importantly confidence comes from within.
In my blog post, “Gorgeous, How to know you are the strategy”. I explained that there is no other person who has control of your life but YOU! How you make a decision every step of the way. Every move that you make. And every thought that you think. We don’t realize that we have that power, and we let other people or other things decide for us.
I hope by now, by reading my blog post, you will see how much value YOU have and how important YOU are!
Until You recognize that you have that power, then confidence will be hard to grab.
I wanted to share a little bit of my journey of confidence with you. And how I learned that confidence comes from within.
I have mentioned that I have been on my personal development journey now for three years. Before that, I was this quiet, shy, timid woman who barely speaks up. Who thinks that she was inferior to the people around her. That everyone else’s opinion is more valuable than hers.
Yes, that was my mindset.
In my personal development journey though, I learned the limiting I have is just that, limiting beliefs. They are not real. But I have to work on improving myself to confirm that they are not true.
I have learned that I have everything I need in me to prove that I matter too.
I learned that I am not inferior. That I have a voice. And that all needed to let that confidence out.
Confidence comes from within because:
Confidence comes from within because it starts with loving yourself.
Now, let me ask you this? Do you practice self-love?
Self-love is not just getting a massage. It is not going for a spa day with manicures and pedicures. Self-love is not just going shopping and buying the things that you wanted. As those things are pampering, they only result in temporary happiness. That happiness can last a day. Two days. Or maybe even a week. But it is not permanent.
Self-love is taking care of the most important person in your life and that is YOU. As hard to believe as that may sound. It is true. YOU are the most important person in your life.
You spend the most time of your life with yourself but you worry about others. You cater to the needs of others and always put yourself last. You run when you are needed, but what about YOU?
Self-love is taking care of YOU on a deeper level. It is healing. It is acknowledging your emotions. It is giving forgiveness without getting an apology. It is spending time with yourself.
Self-love is not selfish. It is selfless. It is a method of filling your own cup. Make sure that you are taken care of so that you can pour on others. So that you can help others more effectively.
Confidence comes from within because it starts with self-acceptance.
Self-acceptance is accepting YOU. You as a whole. Your mind, body, and soul. For the longest time, I expected someone to accept me for me. Instead to have a realization that I don’t even accept who I truly am. And if I don’t accept myself, how would I expect others to accept me?
Self-acceptance means accepting your appearance. Accepting that you are beautiful. Accepting that you are not perfect but it does not mean that you are inadequate. Accepting that you make mistakes too but it doesn’t mean that you blame yourself because of it.
Confidence comes from within because it starts with self-trust.
Now, you and I both know that we will come across challenges. We will go through things that will scare us. We will face problems that can either make or break us.
But as long as you have practiced self-love and self-acceptance, it is a start for you to trust yourself.
Trust in yourself to have the courage that you can take on any challenges. Trust in yourself to be gentle with yourself when things don’t go your way. Trust in yourself to accept that you have done your best. As long as you learned from it.
Self-trust equals having courage. And that is basically one of the biggest attributes of having confidence.
Confidence comes from within because it includes aligned actions.
Once you have learned to love yourself. Have the clarity of who you are. Accepting that person. Building that self-trust. The next steps that you will be taking are aligned actions. Aligned actions are decisions and movements that you will be taking on. Which relates to whatever it is that you are working on with your life.
Aligned action is not just knowing but also feeling that what you are doing is right. And you are heading in the right direction.
There you have it. Those are the four things that show confidence comes from within. It starts with you. It starts with taking care of yourself. Once you have mastered that, you will learn to feel whole.
Learn to feel like you can conquer the world. And learn to feel confident which will show and people will recognize you for it.
Now, mastering self-love, self-acceptance, self-trust, and aligned actions will not happen overnight. It will take hard work and investment in yourself to get to where you want to be. I promise you though, it’s a journey worth taking.
My best friend, Katie Curtis, and I are hosting a 4-week self-mastery workshop. It will start on April 1st. We will do it at 6 am P.S.T minding the time zone around the world every Friday for 4 weeks diving in on each topic. If you are interested in that workshop, comment below and I will personally reach out to you.
I hope you found value in this blog post and let’s get you started in your self-confidence journey.