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  • 9 Unheard Ways To Achieve Greater “Personal Growth”

    9 Unheard Ways To Achieve Greater “Personal Growth”

    Hi there again gorgeous! Today we will talk about 9 unheard ways to achieve greater personal growth! Okay, not unheard ways, since you’re an avid reader of my content. But if you are new to this platform, welcome! You are in for a treat!

    As some of you may know I am very enthusiastic about personal growth because it does help a lot of people. It has helped me. I know that this is not available to everyone which is why this blog exists.

    And, if I am being honest, one blog post will not be enough to share this topic. Know that I am trying to fit in as much as I can.

    Today, I will be sharing the 9 Unheard ways to achieve greater personal growth:

    • Start with awareness
    • Be intentional
    • Invest in you
    • Be consistent
    • Surround yourself with people who like to grow
    • Find a mentor to keep you growing
    • Read/Listen/write
    • Reflect on your personal growth
    • Celebrate yourself

    9 Unheard ways to achieve personal growth:

    Start with awareness of your personal growth

    I have learned that in anything that you want to do in life, you have to start with awareness. Because if you are not aware of where you need to improve. If you need to improve, and what you need to improve, how would you move forward?

    Awareness also means knowing what stage in your life you are in. And this is a teaching lesson right now. Sometimes you will find yourself asking questions. Questions like, “How come I’m not where I want to be right now?” “How come it worked out for others and not me?” “When will my time to achieve success come?”

    But I am here to tell you, you are where you need to be in your personal growth. You are where you need to be in your life. And having that awareness is the first step.

    Be intentional

    In the book, “The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth” by Dr. John Maxwell. He talked about the “Law of intentionality”, which states ‘Growth doesn’t just happen. Which is true. We assume that we automatically grow as we age, but we do not. We have to be intentional in our growth. Be intentional to grow. And you can grow by reading a book. Listening to podcasts. Audiobooks. Whatever way you feel called to learn. Just have the intentions to learn.

    Invest in you

    Investing is something I wished I learned in my personal growth but I did not. Investing for me back then means spending money. Money that I didn’t have. Money that I would rather spend somewhere else.

    It may look the same for you now. And to be honest, I am finding that some people are willing to learn. But when money is involved, they change their minds. I was in that situation too. And I wish I had the mindset then that I had now because investing in myself had a very high return on investment in where I am now in my life.

    Investing also means investing time and effort. When you are intentional with your growth, you have to invest time in yourself and make an effort to grow.

    Be consistent as part of personal growth

    Consistency shows personal growth! Consistency shows results. It has this compounding effect that gives you the progress that you aim for. Most of the time we dabble. We take action when we are motivated or inspired. It is the consistent people who see personal growth. You don’t have to do massive things on a consistent basis. You just have to do something that will get you closer to your desired goal.

    Surround yourself with people who like to grow

    Surrounding yourself with the right people is a major factor in reaching your desired goal. And that applies to personal growth too. I conduct masterminds and there I talk about personal growth. We are surrounded by everyone who has a hunger for growth. Who loves to grow. The reason why I recommend this is because those people will understand your mission and your vision. When you are surrounded by those people, it is easier to continue with your intention to grow. It is easier to be consistent and they can be a reminder for you to keep investing in yourself.

    Find a mentor to keep you growing

    If you want to go fast, go alone

    If you want to go far, go together

    – African Proverb

    As the African Proverb said, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” Growth has no finish line. There is always something to learn every day. It does not discriminate against age, skin color, gender, or whatever walk of life. You can learn as much as you can, but with a mentor, you can learn faster and on a wider horizon. Again, this is part of investing in you. Thinking that a mentor is not needed since it is an expense. And you can learn everything online for free now.

    Not true! You cannot learn everything online for free. You still have to invest in something or someone. A mentor. Why? Because mentors have gone through things that you may have to go through in your growth. You are investing in that experience and lesson. A very effective mentor is someone who has gone through the things that you are going through and was able to get out of it.

    This builds more credibility. They know how it feels to be in that position and they’ve learned ways to overcome it. Which is something that you can learn without having to go through the struggle. This means, it saves you time, effort, pain, struggle, and hurt.

    I have been on my personal growth journey yet still felt something was missing. I hired a coach/mentor for two months. In those two months, I learned my purpose and learned what I needed to do to get there. Is hiring her worth it? Heck yes! I learned everything that I am passionate about within two months with the confidence that I can do it. Versus working by myself for two years.

    Read/listen/write

    This may sound like a boring process. And it is! But it is worth it. You cannot read without truly listening to the message. And you will not retain the information without writing it. Literally writing it! There is something about a pen touching the paper. And intentionally writing it down helps retain the information. I don’t know what it is and I will not pretend that I do, It’s something that I have read in the past and completely agreed with it.

    Reflect on your personal growth

    This is another vital part of the process. Every time you are growing and learning something new. You need to stop and reflect. Reflect on what you have learned. Assess if it’s something that you can apply in your life and/or teach to others. This can be done by meditating or journaling. Whatever works for you.

    John Maxwell said, “You have to let the growth catch up with you”. This is also a good way to learn how far you’ve come in your journey.

    Celebrate yourself

    You should know this by now. I like celebrating myself. It’s not because I am full of myself but because I know the effort it takes to get something accomplished. And I know I deserve to celebrate… me. And guess what? You deserve to be celebrated too! So, as I always say, any win is a win. Big or small, it is a win. Big or small it needs to be celebrated. You can celebrate by giving yourself a pat on the back. Eating ice cream. Watching a movie. Whatever your heart desires.

    There you have it gorgeous! 9 Unheard ways to achieve greater personal growth. I thank you for your constant support and please do not hesitate to share these contents with others. It’s the only way we can spread positivity and growth. Always remember…

    Bold

    Radiant

    Confidently you!

    Love… Ernie

  • Easy Tricks to deal with “Fear of Uncertainty”

    Easy Tricks to deal with “Fear of Uncertainty”

    Fear of uncertainty is one of the most common fears out there. It can hold you back from taking risks, making decisions, and moving forward with your life.

    But if you have been reading my blog posts like, “Unspoken Techniques on how to deal with imposter syndrome”. You would have a good basis on how to handle fear of uncertainty.

    I love what John Maxwell said,

    Make everyday a masterpiece.

    John Maxwell

    He shifted my fear of uncertainty with this quote because the fear is we don’t know what will happen next. What will the future become? This quote helped me realize that I have the power to predict my future by doing the work each day.

    Here are a few easy tricks that can help you deal with your fear of uncertainty:

    1. Stop thinking about it

    This is probably the most straightforward way to deal with your anxiety over uncertainty: stop thinking about it! When you get stuck worrying about what could happen, try focusing on something else instead. It’s not always easy, but practicing meditation or mindfulness can really help with this one.

    I highly recommend focusing on the things that you want. Instead of gearing focus on the things that you don’t want. Fear of uncertainty is scary but here’s the good news, you can shift that belief. Think “You can create what you desire to be your future.”

    2. Take small steps forward

    Don’t worry about all the things that might go wrong. Focus on what will happen if they do go wrong. Take steps toward fixing them in advance. By making a list of possible solutions before taking action on anything risky or uncertain (and making sure those solutions aren’t just ignoring the problem!). If you keep this list handy, you’ll have peace of mind knowing that no matter what happens, you have a plan for handling it.

    If you are not the type of person who plans ahead, like me, I dealt with my fear of uncertainty by taking a small step toward what I want in life. Be very intentional with each action that you make. Also, ask if the action that you are making at the moment is helping you to get closer to what you want in life or if is it not helping you to reach it.

    3. Trust yourself

    The best way to get over your fear of uncertainty is to learn how to trust yourself again. To believe that everything will turn out. To gain that trust in yourself you have to learn to start within. Go back to the 5 Little Known Steps to be confident in yourself blog post to learn more about this.

    Start with these steps to deal with your fear of uncertainty. And let me know how much impact it has made in your day-to-day life.

  • Self-belief is all you needed – Pep Talk

    Self-belief is all you needed – Pep Talk

    Today’s blog post talks about how “self-belief is all you needed” to live your life. In my post, “5 Little-Known steps to become confident with yourself”, I shared 5 easy steps to develop self-confidence. Those steps helped me tremendously in my journey to confidence. If you have been following my blog post for quite some time and following the teachings in it. I am confident that you have developed a certain level of confidence by now.

    Now, as you know, I am very passionate about confidence. Confidence is actually equal to self-belief. Self-belief means believing in yourself so that you can move to the next level of your life.

    Miss World Winner of 2000, Priyanka Chopra said…

    The only accessory that you need to wear well is confidence

    Priyanka Chopra “2000 Miss World Winner”

    I love that. But why do you think that is? Why is Self-belief a.k.a confidence the accessory that you needed to wear well?

    Why is self-belief all you needed?

    • If you don’t believe in yourself, who else would?
    • You are more inclined to see results
    • Other people are inclined to listen

    If you don’t believe in yourself, who else would?

    I have asked myself this over and over before when I didn’t have the self-belief. Ernie, if you don’t believe in yourself, who else would?

    I know you have big dreams. I know you have desires to reach. How will you be able to get there? How will you be able to reach, your definition of success without the self-belief that you can?

    Bonnie Ware, an Australian Nurse shared in her book, “The Top Five Regrets of Dying”, one of the regrets that she gathered was, “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

    This is huge in my culture. You may be one of those people who is living a life that others expect you to be. Like say, your parents want you to become a lawyer, so you did. But you wanted to become a singer. Something that your parents do not approve of and because you didn’t want to hurt your parents, you followed what they want you to do.

    I am not saying to be a bad child and not listen to your parents, actually, I am. You may hate me for this, but I want you to do what YOU want to do. It is easier said than done, I know. But it is not selfish to do what you love. It is not selfish to do what makes you happy. Because otherwise, your self-belief will slowly go away. I know you don’t want to live an unhappy life right?

    And the way to where you are and where you want to go may be rocky, but guess what? As long as you believe that you can get there. You will get there.

    Another thing is, we all have fears. We have limiting beliefs. And they can cripple you sometimes. But once you’ve developed a certain level of self-belief even if you’re scared AF, you will get there. At least hold on to the idea that you are doing what YOU wanted to do. Not what others want you to do.

    You are more inclined to see results

    Acting in self-belief gives you results. Like I said earlier, you will face fears and limiting beliefs. They are meant to show up to protect you. Though that is a good intention it will stop you from seeing your full potential.

    I’ve shared before that I wanted to become a motivational speaker. I didn’t believe that I can do it at first. I didn’t know how I will get there but I trusted in the process. Deep inside of me agrees that it is my purpose. So, I worked towards what I am called to do. Fast forward one year, and I am now a licensed public speaker. And last night, I did my very first speaking engagement. If I didn’t believe that I can do it along the way, I would have never had the results I have now.

    So gorgeous, believe in yourself. Hold on to that self-belief and start taking action and I promise you, you will see results. It’s just a matter of time.

    Other people are inclined to listen

    I wanted to be transparent, this is not going to happen in the first attempt to show self-belief to others. Sometimes, it takes a little bit more action. But why am I sharing that once you have that self-belief, other people are inclined to listen?

    Because they will. Not right away, but they will. In any field that you want to succeed in, if you exude self-belief, people will see that. They will feel it whenever they are around you. And here’s the kicker, once they have proven it, you can then impact them. Influence them. Help them. Or lead them.

    Self-belief is important in order to show others that they too can reach the same level of belief that you have in yourself.

    Remember the goal is to always start within! I’ve always believed that in order to influence others, I need to influence myself first. In order to grow others, I need to grow myself first. If that is your goal, well you now know that you need that self-belief first.

    I cannot wait to hear your input about this blog post and as always, please share this with others whom you think need to read this. And as always…

    Be Confidently YOU!

  • Knowing the people you surround yourself with – Self-acceptance rule

    Knowing the people you surround yourself with – Self-acceptance rule

    Yes, gorgeous, knowing the people you surround yourself with is a self-acceptance rule.

    You’re probably asking how self-acceptance relates to the people you surround yourself with. Well, let me enlighten you.

    One of the factors that make us who we are today is the people we surround ourselves with. As you have learned from my previous blog post, “Why is Self-Acceptance a path worth taking“. I shared that learning about self-acceptance also gives you a better understanding of others. This means knowing the people you surround yourself with.

    These people are your loved ones. Your family. Friends. Partner. Co-worker. Basically, the people who are within your network. The same people who we tend to ask for advice for any life decisions that we have to make.

    You know that moment when you wanted to become a singer, yet your parents want you to work in the medical field?

    In moments when you are tired of your job and you wanted to quit. Yet a good friend of yours tells you that there are no other jobs better than what you have. Why quit?

    Or when you started a business or become an entrepreneur, yet someone close to you says, it’s a scam. Another person would say, don’t do it, you are taking away your fixed income.

    Now, I am not here to say that these people are there to crush your dreams. Or these people are bad for you. Far from that! What I want you to learn from this post are:

    • These people respond based on their mindset, not yours
    • These people may not see the vision that you have
    • They can hinder you from doing what will make you happy

    This is why the title of this blog post is “knowing the people you surround yourself with”. I wanted to share how I’ve learned to analyze the people I surround myself with to use it to my own advantage.

    Remember the quote…

    You cannot change the people around you but you can change the people around you.

    -anonymous

    Such a mind puzzle right? It means that you cannot change the people around you right now. But you can change the people you surround yourself with. So, if you know the people you surround yourself with, you will know how to react around them. Let’s dive in.

    Knowing the people you surround yourself with

    People who are negative Nancy

    I hate to break it to you but being around these types of people is not inspiring. Those people always talk negatively about everything. Regardless of what activity you’re doing. Cooking. Watching a movie. Relaxing by the beach. These are the type of people who always have something to complain about. Again, you cannot change the people around you, but you don’t need to be around them all the time.

    You see, it’s so easy to focus on the negative all the time. News feeds us negative stories. Unfortunate events. Which can result in anxiety and fears. Now, if you can choose the data you consume, well you can also choose the people to gather data from.

    I am not saying to stop seeing these people. I am challenging you to spend less time with them and analyze how much change it is in your own personal emotions. Try it! I’ve done this and all I felt was… peace.

    People who do not agree with your vision

    Again, I’m not telling you to kick these people out of your life. I would just recommend finding the people who have the credentials to share your vision. Let me give you an example. When you are sick, you would go to a doctor and use their expertise to treat you correct? If you want to lose weight, you would go to a fitness guru or a trainer to help you with it. It’s the same concept with everything else in your life.

    Qualify the people whom you will share your vision with. If you want to quit your job and get a better one, confide with people who are doing the job that you want. Or the people who have done the same leap that you plan to do. If your goal is to start your own business, do not ask your uncle who does not have any experience. Ask the person who has done it or the person who is currently in the transition of starting a business.

    The people who have experience and knowledge about the path that you wanted to take will understand you in starting that journey. Trust me, a lot of them would even help you with it.

    People who drain your energy

    Do you know people whom when you spend time with them for a few minutes? Or for a short period of time. And you feel drained?

    Disclaimer, these are not your kids. I know you have to chase them around. Care for them and make sure that they stay alive. That is not the type of feeling drained that I am talking about.

    Go ahead, sit down and reflect on the times when you are around people and analyze how you felt after. You will realize what I mean. Now, again there is nothing wrong with hanging out with these people but you have to give yourself boundaries.

    If you keep hanging out with these people, you will end up with an empty cup. And you cannot give anything back with an empty cup.

    So there you have it, knowing the people you surround yourself with. Analyzing and realizing how these three types of people can affect my day-to-day activities and emotions, helped me become more intentional with whom I spend my time.

    I challenge you to do the same analysis and apply the recommendation given. And I would love to get your input about this post by commenting below.

  • Simple ways to “declutter your life and mind”

    Simple ways to “declutter your life and mind”

    What? You are probably asking what I mean by simple ways to declutter your life and mind. I honestly said the same thing when I learned about this.

    Do you know that overwhelming experience that you feel on a day-to-day basis?

    You are probably thinking of “declutter your life” meaning tidying up your home and organizing things and making sure that everything is clean. Though that is part of it. It’s not what I meant when I said decluttering your life and mind.

    Don’t get me wrong, I love coming home to a house that is clean and organized. You can probably relate but my very first task of the day is to make my bed.

    What I mean by it though is reorganizing every other aspect that can cause you to feel overwhelmed. Something that can cause you to feel anxious. And worried. So, below are the simple ways to declutter your life and mind.

    Simple ways to declutter your life and mind

    • Clear up your phone and social media
    • Choose the data you consume
    • Be picky with the people you spend time with
    • Purge in your house
    • Meditating
    • Power of 5
    • Be one with nature

    Clear up your phone and social media

    We use our phones as our source to kill time. To avoid awkward moments. To fill the void, that silence that we experience.

    But do you know that your phone can be a cause of feeling overwhelmed and anxious?

    This is why cleaning up your phone and social media is a way to declutter your life and mind.

    The applications on your phone can be very overwhelming. The moment you open your eyes, the first thing you look at is your phone and all the apps on it. Reorganize it.

    Categorize them in a way that makes sense to you. I categorized anything that is related to money as “I am abundant”. Applications related to learning as “I am wise”. And those related to health as “I am healthy”. (See images below to compare the difference).

    Another tip would be decluttering your friends on social media. Friends on Facebook that you do not interact with, please unfriend them. People you follow on social media who do not add up to your mental wellness. Please do yourself a favor and unfollow them.

    This tip was so liberating for me because it gave me peace of mind after. I don’t have to see negative posts. Or anything about hatred. Or posts that cause me to feel angry.

    Choose the data you consume

    Yes, choose the data that you consume. This can help you minimize the anxiety that you feel afterward.

    One huge piece of data that does not help you is watching the news. Because when was the last time you watched the news and felt good?

    It talks about recession. The coronavirus. War. And all other negative things. It’s not a bad thing to be in the know, but do not immerse yourself in it. News feeds your fear. Anxiety. And worry.

    So, declutter your life by choosing the data you consume.

    Be picky with the people you spend time with

    In my blog post, 4 Ways to keep positivity in your life, I shared that in order to keep positivity in your life. You need to surround yourself with positive people. And don’t worry I will not say to get rid of the negative people in your life. Those people can be your partner. Your best friend or anyone close. But at least do yourself a favor and spend less time with them. It’s not always easy to do this, but your sanity and peace are important too. It’s not being selfish. Once you focus on yourself first, the better you show up for others. So declutter your life by being picky with the people you spend time with.

    Declutter your life by purging in your house

    Okay okay, I am not disregarding the people who like clutter and chaos. Somehow there are people who can effectively function in this type of environment. I wanted to focus on the people who thrive in a clean, organized, and tidy environment.

    Cleaning my house is a stress reliever for me. It’s still true to this day. You may find it weird, but I find satisfaction in buying cleaning products. There is something about coming home with a clean and tidy house. It feels homey. If that makes sense.

    But let’s get deeper into this. You know when you moved into your new home or apartment and it felt empty? Like you almost have no furniture and items in the house? Then somehow a year later, you look at all the things that you have accumulated over the years.

    Yes! I can guarantee you that most of those things no longer serve you. So, declutter your life by purging in your house. Clothes that you never wore or no longer wear, donate them to the thrift store or charity.

    I send most of my unused clothes back home.

    Kitchen items that you said you need yet never used. Things in your garage that you bought because they were on sale but never used. Purge, purge, purge. This will lessen the burden and the overwhelm that you feel.

    Declutter your life by meditating

    One way to declutter your life and mind is by meditating. I say life and mind because meditation has that result. When you meditate, you don’t just clear your mind, it gives you a better direction in your life as well. It helps you refocus if you will.

    I remember when I was starting my journey and was learning about meditation. It definitely caught my curiosity. I tried doing it but when I do, the first thing that comes to mind is food. Yup, you read it right. Food. I could not focus because I was getting hungry.

    Until I learned about guided meditation and it changed the game for me. So, meditation may sound intimidating. But there are different types or ways of meditation. I learned from church today that we all meditate every day. How? We meditate by worrying.

    This is so true. Because we sit in our minds going on a downward spiral within our own thoughts. This also confirms that whoever you are and wherever you are, you can meditate.

    Guided meditation helped me find peace after a stressful day. It helps me refocus when I’m feeling overwhelmed. I even find healing in it when I’m hurting. Try this guided meditation and see how it goes for you.

    The power of 5

    Do you feel like you have so many things that you need to do but never had the time to do them?

    Let me introduce you to the power of 5. This simple way is way more productive than when you are in your head thinking of things that you need to do. Yet tell yourself you don’t have time.

    Disclaimer, tough love coming through. I have heard this time and time again, I wanted to do this. I wish I could do that. I’m interested…. but I don’t have the time.

    How in the world can you say that you don’t have the time when you haven’t even tried?

    Trust me, this was a slap on my face too. I learned that saying “I don’t have time is an excuse”.

    There is an underlying fear in that excuse that is why you won’t even try. But what is even more painful for me when I was lectured about this was, that not having time means it’s not your priority.

    So, if you wanted to start with personal development yet you say it’s too hard, I don’t have time.

    If you want to lose weight, but failed because you don’t have time.

    I don’t have time for myself because I’m busy with my family.

    All these means that whatever it is that you are saying you don’t have time to, is just NOT. YOUR. PRIORITY.

    I know, it heard a nerve for me too.

    So, one way to declutter your life and mind of all the anxiety and guilt is to use the power of 5. This method is listing 5 items that you plan to do and accomplish tomorrow. Focus on one task and one task only. Once done, move on to the next.

    I promise you, that you will be productive. And not having time will not even be in the picture. Try it and let me know how it goes in the comments below.

    Being one with nature is a way to declutter your life

    If you have been reading my blogs for the past 6 months, you have probably come across this. And yes, being one with nature is a way to declutter your life. It’s like a reset button.

    This is why a lot of people want to go on vacations by the water. Some love being around trees.

    There is something about being in nature that gives you that sense of peace. Calmness. And it regenerates and fills your energy.

    I do this once in a while to reset. And honor me. To reflect on and celebrate my progress. I highly recommend it.

    So there you go, 7 simple ways to declutter your life. This blog post if applied is a priceless token of information. It was life-changing for me, and I know it will be for you too.

    I would love to read your thoughts below.

  • At Last, The Secret To “Power of Words” Revealed

    At Last, The Secret To “Power of Words” Revealed

    At last, The secret to “power of words” revealed! Yes! Your words are very powerful and with everything that I am seeing and hearing right now. Even with myself. I wanted to give this information to give you guidance on how to use your words to your advantage.

    A few months back, a good friend of mine Eric Douglas, recommended for me to read the book, “What to say when you talk to yourself”. by Shad Helmstetter PhD. Now, I highly recommend reading it.

    The title itself says it all. And it’s quite practical.

    Do you ever stop and analyze how you talk to yourself?

    And no! I did not mean talking to yourself like you’re crazy.

    It’s far from that. I know that we do tend to talk to ourselves. Plenty of time even.

    But just out of curiosity, do you stop and see how your conversations with yourself make you feel?

    If the answer is no. It’s okay. That is what this blog post is for.

    I learned a long time ago that your words can either empower you or weaken you.

    So, In this blog post, I wanted to share the secret to the “Power of words”.

    Secret to the Power of Words

    • Positive self talk
    • One “word” strategy
    • Affirmations

    Positive Self-talk

    What we “say” about ourselves, we tend to believe. What we believe, we tend to act. What we act, we tend to become

    Dr. John Maxwell

    One of the forms of self-love that I have learned is positive self-talk. And I can guarantee with you right now that this is not something that you practice all the time.

    How so? I’m glad you asked. That is because it is so easy to practice negative self-talk. It’s easy enough that we do it unconsciously.

    When you’re given a compliment, “You look good!” Sometimes you’ll respond, “Ugh, I look so ugly!”

    When you forgot to do something. Or when you made a mistake. Your first reaction is, “I’m so stupid.”

    You look in the mirror, and the first you say, “I am so fat”.

    How do these comments to yourself make you feel?

    And what’s funny is, we get so upset when other people call us ugly. When they call us stupid. We get so furious when they call us fat. When in all reality, we are the bully.

    Think about that for a second.

    So, I challenge you. For the next 21 days, bring a small notebook and a pen with you. And every time, you say something negative about yourself. At night, shift that to a positive.

    When you call yourself dumb. Change that to, “I am smart”.

    At times when you feel like saying, “Why me?”. Say, “This is preparing me for something bigger!”

    And instead of saying, “I am not enough”. I am the first to tell you, “You are more than enough.”

    I wanted to add this, at times you will ask yourself, “what if it doesn’t work?”.

    See how easy it is to focus on the negative? But, what if you ask, “what if it does work?”. Doesn’t that empower you? It gives you that jolt of confidence?

    Go ahead gorgeous, practice that. Feel the change. And remember, the power of words in shaping your life.

    One “word” strategy

    This secret has been a big help for me. You might have read or heard me say this. In December of 2020, my online best friend, Katie and I made a pack that in 2021 we will live by the word “Uncomfortable”. And boy, we did get uncomfortable throughout the whole year.

    And to be honest, up to this year. I don’t remember how we picked a word. It was in a middle of a conversation and we were preparing for the new year.

    I didn’t even know that living a whole year around one word was a strategy. Until I read it in the 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth book by Dr. John Maxwell.

    In that book, Dr. John Maxwell explained that focusing on one word, helps a person to stay intentional. And I do agree.

    It’s a powerful secret because based on my experience, it helped me stay on track. It’s so simple that I can easily remember it.

    2021 was very uncomfortable for me because of the following:

    • I asked for help by hiring a coach
    • I surrendered my belief in the power of manifestation
    • I found out my life’s purpose (I’m sure you know this by now)
    • I found out about the John Maxwell team and immersed myself in learning

    Good things happen when you focus on one thing. And in this case, focus on “One word”.

    I would like to challenge you with this, think of a word that you describes you. What would that be?

    Power of words – Affirmations

    Ernie, affirmations doesn’t work.

    Yes, I have heard this before. I’m going to let you in on a secret. I thought of the same thing. My bullsh*t radar keeps coming on every time I wrote an affirmation.

    I learned about affirmations 4 years ago. We were asked to write gratitude and affirmations every day. The gratitude part was fun. It helped me appreciate all the things around me.

    But when it’s time to write my affirmations. I hated it. That feeling like I was lying to myself.

    I am rich. Money is flowing in my life. I have all the confidence in the world.

    As I write those words, my mind was screaming, BS, BS, BS.

    It’s not until I learned that affirmations doesn’t work when done incorrectly.

    Affirmations only work when the affirmation applies to your current situation and if you believe.

    Say, you wanted to start a business. The affirmation that you were writing was, I have a successful business. Yet, you are not making any money and barely knew what to do.

    I learned that if you shift it with an affirmation that says, “I am blessed that I get to start my own business.” “I am working on achieving success through my business.” It applies to you. And it’s very empowering. Right?

    Instead of saying, “I am rich”. Say, “I love money and money loves me.”

    You get the gist. Affirmations work if it’s in the present and if you believe in it.

    There you have it gorgeous, the secrets to the power of your words. Again, words can either empower you or weaken you. Using those three secrets can definitely empower you and change how you face your day to day journey.

    I will tell you now though that it will not happen overnight. Don’t give up. Keep at it. And it will eventually come naturally.

    Let me know your thoughts on the comment below and if you found value in this blog post, share it with your friends. Let’s spread awareness to positivity.

    Yours truly,

    Ernie

  • Impeccable reasoning behind the question, “Why not You?”

    Impeccable reasoning behind the question, “Why not You?”

    Why not you? In this blog post, I wanted to give you the impeccable reasoning behind the question, why not you?

    It is my greatest dream to write a book that will make an impact on a lot of people. And I’ve decided that the title of my first book will be, “Why not you?”.

    “Why”, you ask?

    “Because why not?”

    Think about this for a second. Sometimes, when you see something that you want to do. Something that you’re really interested in. The first thing you do is talk yourself out of it.

    You may not agree with me, but let me give you an example.

    Seeing beautiful pictures on social media. This gives you the desire to travel there too. Yet, the first thing that comes to mind is, “I don’t have the money”. You just talked yourself out of it.

    Robert Kiyosaki explained the difference between a winner and loser mindset. The winner mindset finds out a way to solve the problem. The loser mindset, states the problem and stops there. A little harsh but sometimes, we do need some tough love.

    So, using the same example above, if you wanted to travel, “why not?”

    You are probably rolling your eyes at me as you read this. But let me explain with the following reasons below.

    The reasoning behind the question, “Why not You?”

    • You have a burning desire to do it, why not you?
    • You’re capable of doing it
    • Your will to learn and take action will help you
    • Other people have the same fears, yet still, did it, so why not you?

    You have a burning desire to do it

    Going back to the same example above, you have a burning desire to travel.

    Yes, yes, I get it, money is the problem. But you can save money though right?

    In my blog post, “You are what you are meant to be”, I used Eleanor Rooseve’ts words. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. So, in that sense, if you are letting money stop you from doing what you want to do. Then you are giving it consent to make you feel inferior.

    Knowing you, you are more capable than that. This leads us to the next reason behind the question, “why not you?”

    You’re capable of doing it

    Like me, I am confident that you know within you that you are capable. And you can apply this to any aspect of your life. You don’t give yourself enough credit though.

    I wanted you to stop for a second and reflect on every hardship. Every struggle. Even the problems that you never thought you will never get out of. You got through them. Think about that. If you were capable of going through those problems, struggles, and trials. What is different from what you are facing now? It’s just another problem, right?

    I saw this movie yesterday called, The Grayman on Netflix. Ryan Gosling was the main actor there, as a trained assassin. He used the phrase, “It’s just another Thursday”, to give Claire (actress in the movie), assurance that everything will be okay. An impeccable mindset to have before he faces his opponent.

    I plan to apply that in my life whenever I feel stuck. It’s just another Thursday. Just like, it’s just a regular day. Then figure out how to solve the problem.

    And guess what? YOU.CAN.TOO!

    You are capable! So, why not you?

    Your will to learn and take action will help you

    Again, why not you?

    “I don’t know how,” you say.

    Yes, I know, you may not see the path now, but it’s okay.

    One thing I learned in my journey is, that I don’t have to have all the answers.

    And I would like to let you in on a secret. Part of manifestation is co-creation. If you believe in God, the universe, or whatever faith you have. You co-create.

    I co-create with my God. I take action based on what I can. And my will to learn. Now the path is my God’s part of co-creating. He leads the way.

    So, in your scenario, I recommend using this concept. Learn as much as you can. Take action to your capabilities. And whatever is unclear right now. Ask for guidance.

    Other people have the same fears, yet still, did it, so why not you?

    There is probably at some point of you reading this post where your mind is screaming. Saying, “No, Ernie, you don’t understand.”

    The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

    -Steve Jobs

    I may not understand what your mind is telling you right now. But here is what I know. Those voices in your head. Those are what we call, “False evidence appearing real”, a.k.a. FEAR.

    And to tell you the truth, we all have it. Again, as I said, before you can even come up with a solution to taking action, you have talked yourself out of it. That is your fear.

    Lisa Nichols shared in one of her speeches that she was given the response by one of her clients and said, “I’ve always been this way.” And her response was, “How is that working out for you?” And that hit me.

    We can make that comment, but how is our mindset? How is our decision towards the things that we desire to do working out for us?

    If your answer is, that it’s not working out. Then, take action. Make a change. Give yourself permission to try!

    Other people who had made it did it scared. Why not you?

    Now, the intention of this blog post is to empower you. To show you that you have options. Help you realize that you are capable. But at the end of the day, when all the noise is gone.

    Reflect and ask yourself, “Why not me?”

  • Simple Ways to Manage Stress in Your Life

    Simple Ways to Manage Stress in Your Life

    Yes, you read that right. Simple ways to manage stress in your life is our topic this week.

    According to Medline Plus, “Stress is your body’s reaction to a challenge or demand.” And there are two types of stress; acute and chronic stress.

    Acute stress is short-term, chronic stress lasts for longer times or comes and goes. Chronic stress can cause anxiety. Both anxiety and stress are not good feelings.

    Lack of sleep. No energy. Living anxiously are a few examples of its outcomes.

    And trust me, I know how it felt like. It wasn’t fun at all.

    We all have stressors in life.

    Job. Family. Bills. Problems. Future. Money. Covid. News. Just to name a few.

    The title of this blog post is to manage stress. Not to get rid of stress. Why? Because stress is normal. It’s how our body reacts when things feel overwhelming. And when we feel like we’re losing control.

    Stress is something that we can potentially face every day. But why face it, when you can manage it?

    So there you are, I am sharing the “simple” ways to manage stress in your life. Simple, because it is. And it’s all free!

    Ways to manage stress in your life

    • Write it down
    • The 5-second rule
    • Deep breathing or Box breathing
    • Be one with nature

    Write it down

    Write down what? Yes, I told you it would be simple. Write it down. One cause of stress is the thought of all the things that you need to do. It doesn’t matter if it was a project that you are working on at work. Or the errands that you have to make at home. Write it down.

    Instead of going through the process of trying to remember it. And ending up feeling overwhelmed. Write it down. There is something about seeing it all written down. Versus trying to fish it in your mind.

    I plan ahead. I would either write everything that I need to do for the next day the night before. Or if I am extra motivated, I will plan my whole week. I highly recommend that you try it out.

    The 5-second rule

    I learned the 5-second rule from Mel Robbins. It’s from her book, “The 5 Second Rule” you can buy it by clicking on the link. This means that you need to count to five but backward. 5,4,3,2,1.

    This technique is perfect when you are going on a downward spiral and feeling stressed out. It’s a pattern interrupt as they call it. Count to five backward and it will bring you back to your original calm state. The book explains the science behind it.

    Deep breathing/box breathing

    I love love this way of managing stress. To be honest, I use breathing techniques in a lot of things.

    I’ve used it when I’m feeling overwhelmed and just needed that feeling of calmness.

    The other day, I had another one of those migraine attacks that I have not experienced in years. Even the medications didn’t work. So, I decided to lay in bed. Tried to gain control over the massive pain. Started box breathing. Meaning, breathing in slowly at the count of four. Again, count up to 4 while slowly breathing out. It works!

    If you want to test it even more. I close my eyes when doing this and I imagine myself in black and white. And whatever it is that I am feeling. Pain or anxiety. I assign a color to it. Then imagine that whenever I do the breathing process, it is the color that I am breathing out. It’s not voodoo or any witchcraft. It happens to work for me every time.

    Be one with nature

    Out of all the ways I’ve tried and shared with you, being one with nature is my favorite. Even though, being out in nature triggers my allergies. I wouldn’t replace it for anything.

    Sitting down on a beach while looking over the view of a lake is my way of being one with nature. I like the stillness of the water. The green color that it mirrors the trees. The sound of the birds as they fly by. And the breeze. It’s perfect. I challenge you to find your way of being one with nature.

    Go to the beach. Hike. Walk in a park. Can be somewhere you can start.

    So, there you have it. Simple ways to manage stress! And they are all free. Sometimes, we seek professional help to manage our stressors. Which can be good, but start somewhere first. Start within. Find what technique or way works for you based on the tips I’ve provided.

    Now, I want to remind you though that applying these ways does not mean that it will work overnight. It requires repetition and adjustments. But one thing I assure you. If you stay consistent in using even just one technique. It will work wonders and will help you manage the stress in your life.

  • Reasons why you are an independent person

    Reasons why you are an independent person

    Reasons, why you are an independent person, is our topic for today, in lieu of Independence Day in America. Yes, I know that in my heart that you are independent. My question to you is, “Do you know that you are independent?”

    In my blog post, “Gorgeous, How to know that you are the strategy?”. I explained why you have everything that you need to pursue what you are meant in life. Today, I wanted to explain the reasons why you are an independent person.

    According to dictionary.com, independent is defined as;

    not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc.; thinking or acting for oneself: an independent thinker. not subject to another’s authority or jurisdiction; autonomous; free: an independent businessman. not influenced by the thought or action of others:

    Now, this blog post may sound unbelievable to you, or it can be an eye-opener. As, always, I aim to empower you. So, this can confirm that you are independent. Or open your eyes that your perception of yourself as being dependent is incorrect.

    Reasons why you are an independent person:

    • You are taking risks
    • You make decisions and stick to them
    • You are not easily influenced by others
    • You are willing to change or form new habits

    You are taking risks

    Gorgeous, you may not realize it, but you do take risks every day.

    • Driving to your destination
    • Working to not get fired
    • Starting a new business
    • Being in a relationship
    • Moving from one place to another
    • Getting up in the morning

    Taking risks is doing something that may result in a loss or failure. Sometimes, we only recognize certain things as “taking a risk”, like gambling. But if you look at it from a different perspective. You are gambling every day.

    Driving to your destination is taking risks. RIsk of being in a car accident. Working is taking a risk as well. Risk of not getting fired. Starting a new business if that is your passion is a risk. Risk of the business closing. Being in a relationship is a risk. Risk of losing that person. Moving to another location is a risk. Risk of that place not working out for you. Getting up in the morning is a risk. Risk of losing sleep. Or having a bad day.

    You get the message right? We do take risks e-ve-ry-day. Most of those risks are out of our control. But we still do them.

    So, if you think that you are not independent. You do take risks, And that is one reason why you are an independent person.

    You make decisions and stick to them

    Making decisions on your own and sticking to them is one reason why you are independent. It’s not just about being firm. Or be sure of your decisions. It is making decisions and sticking to them even though you don’t know the outcome.

    Do you know the word “perfectionists”? The idea that something has to be perfect before you present it? I have learned that is fear. Fear of not being good enough. And it is fine. But think of this for a second, how will you know that it is perfect if you do not show it? If you have not tried it?

    Just like the examples I gave above. You getting up in the morning is a decision. And you stick to that decision. It may take you a little while to make a firm decision to get up by hitting the snooze button. But once you are up. Your day starts.

    Still not convinced? When you decide to leave your home to do something. May that be going to work. Going on vacation. Or running errands. Do you change your mind? And say, I am not leaving because I may get into an accident. You don’t right?

    Gorgeous, you are capable of making decisions and sticking to them. In life, sometimes we just have to make decisions without having all the answers. And own it. It may not work at first, but it’s okay.

    John Maxwell said, “You will always suck the first time.” And that is so true.

    You are not easily influenced by others

    We all know that not being easily influenced by others is one of the signs of an independent person. But what does that really mean?

    You will always be surrounded by other people in your life. Your friends. Family. Acquaintances. Media. News. Mentors. Those account as “others”.

    Let’s say that you wanted to start your own business. A family member would say, “Don’t because it doesn’t give you a steady income.” This can result in you doubting your decision of starting your own business.

    But let’s say, you had a baby and the baby is running a high fever and wheezing. A family member comes in and says, “The baby is fine. it’s part of growing”. As a parent, will this cause you to doubt that comment? Yes, right? You will make a decision and bring your baby to the hospital.

    Let me break it down. Both examples I gave evoke emotion. The first one is uncertainty. The second one can also show uncertainty but the stronger emotion evoked is love.

    When you haven’t seen the value of something. You are not fully committed to it. If you haven’t made a decision that you love that one thing. It is easy to let it go. It is easy for others to influence you of letting it go.

    In the first example, what you had was desire. You want to start a new business. Not knowing how. Where. When. But you know in your heart why. You are just uncertain of all the logistics.

    The second example shows that you have a foundation of love. You’ve developed a bond with the baby for nine months. Had invested time in caring for it and realized the importance of your baby. That is why you can easily make a decision and not easily be influenced by others. Regardless if they are your family.

    You are willing to change or form new habits

    Yes, the willingness to change or form new habits is another reason why you are an independent person. How?

    Okay, if your marriage or relationship is not working out, what do you do?

    You can do one of two things. One, change some things and make it work. Two, walk away and start a new life.

    If you’ve never had a business but you have that burning desire to do so. Wouldn’t you find ways how to make it work? That calls for a change in your schedule. And that will also result in your growth.

    At work, if your boss tells you that your performance is low. You can do two things. Make a change in yourself and improve. Or change your employer.

    These are decisions that you have to make a change. Or form a new habit.

    You are probably rolling your eyes at me. And saying Ernie these are not examples of an independent person. The examples are too easy and it’s what we do every day. I hear ya! And that’s my whole point, most of the examples I have given are examples where you have gained confidence. When you are comfortable doing things on a daily basis. You tend to lose sight of giving yourself credit for where you started in the first place.

    But once you are faced with uncertainty. With anything new. You doubt your own skills. Capabilities. You doubt your knowledge. Sometimes doubt your vision even.

    I am setting a foundation for you. And giving you a reminder, that yes, you may confide with others. You may seek help and need to be with someone in order to take action. Make a decision, Or take a risk. At the end of the day. YOU. ARE. THE. ONE. TAKING. ACTION. And that is the reason why you are an independent person.

  • How to fully accept yourself? Exploring Self-Acceptance

    How to fully accept yourself? Exploring Self-Acceptance

    How to fully accept yourself? Exploring Self-acceptance. Yes, we are doing this gorgeous.

    I encourage you to stop. Ask yourself this question, “Do I fully accept myself?

    In my blog post, “Why is self-acceptance a path worth taking?“. I explained a few reasons why one should accept the person that he or she is, flaws and all.

    To be honest, exploring self-acceptance can be very scary. Nerve-wracking even. All the traumas and past conditioning when you are young can be seen as damaging. I am here to tell you that you are fine. There is nothing wrong with you.

    As I said, it is all past conditioning. Now, changing the past conditioning is an option that you have to decide for yourself. But as I have shared before, awareness will always be the first step. That also applies to self-acceptance.

    How to fully accept yourself?

    Here are a few tips on exploring self-acceptance:

    1. Reflect on this question, “Do you accept yourself?”
    2. Make a list of all the things that you love to do and things that you don’t like to do.
    3. Make a list of things that you like about yourself and things that you don’t like about yourself.
    4. Tap into resources that will help you learn more about yourself.
    5. Reflect on the information that you have learned about yourself.
    6. Decide if there are things that you want to change and create a plan.

    Reflect on this question, “Do you accept yourself?”

    You may find this a difficult question to answer. To share a secret, it was hard for me too. But it is part of personal growth. We have to ask difficult questions sometimes. It is a way to get out of your comfort zone.

    I recommend journaling on this and being honest with yourself. If it gets too emotional, be gentle with yourself. Give yourself space to really reflect on the question. Dive deep inside and seek the true answer. Be vulnerable. But do not judge yourself. If you need help, I’m just one message away.

    Make a list of all the things that you love to do and things that you don’t like to do- part of your self-acceptance journey

    If you’re like me when asked, “what do you love to do?”. And my answer, ” I like to do a lot of things.” But only able to name a few. Making a list of the things that you love to do is a good way to prevent that problem.

    List away. Have a sit down with yourself. Indulge in this self-acceptance journey and list the things that you love to do. Why? Because these are the things that are stimulating for you. And the things that make you happy. I don’t know about you, but I love to do things that make me happy. It’s also a perfect list to look back and reference on a day when you feel down and want to do something fun. Fun in your own definition.

    Alongside the things that you love to do are things that you don’t want to do. Sit down and write these down clearly. True to your heart and do not hold back. The things that you don’t like to do are the things that drain your energy. Things that do not make you happy. If you are true to yourself, I don’t recommend you to do these things. And communicate if with the people around you.

    The people who love and care about you will respect it and appreciate that you communicate it with them. That way, you’re not pretending or dragging your feet while doing it with them.

    Make a list of things that you like about yourself and things that you don’t like about yourself

    Making a list of things that you like about yourself can be so much fun. Again, do not hold back. Explore this part of your self-acceptance journey. I know you don’t give yourself enough credit. And this is my way of guiding you to give yourself credit.

    YOU. DESERVE. IT

    Make sure to list at least 20 things that you like/love about yourself. In any aspect of your life. It doesn’t have to be big. I have listed a few examples below for you. Just in case, you can’t think of anything right away.

    Examples:

    • I love my smile
    • I love my hair
    • I love that I have patience with others
    • I love to help people
    • I love listening to country music
    • I love that I learn quickly
    • I love that I am always on time at work
    • I love that I am compassionate
    • I love waking up early in the morning

    List away! You got this.

    Again, the opposite would be listing the things that you don’t like about yourself. Before you do this though, I encourage you to list them without attaching emotions towards them. Without judgment in yourself. Knowing the things that you don’t like about yourself is another powerful tool in making decisions in your life. The goal is to get to know yourself on a deeper level. That’s it!

    I named a few examples for you below:

    • I don’t like that I am very impatient
    • I don’t like my toes
    • I don’t like to be around too many people
    • I don’t like staying home
    • I don’t like to date a short guy
    • I don’t like the feeling of no direction in life
    • I don’t like that I procrastinate a lot
    • I don’t like that I talk to myself in a negative way

    See! Those are examples, just naming them without judgment. Write your own list. You will be surprised by how much you learn about yourself in writing.

    Tap into resources that will help you learn more about yourself

    This is my favorite! Part of the self-acceptance journey is learning more about yourself. I am still learning more about myself to this day. A good place to start is tapping into resources that will help. There are free resources out there. I listed a couple of links below to start with:

    There are plenty more out there. I am currently learning about my decision-making techniques. Learning more about my strengths. My weaknesses. Learning more about yourself can give you the upper hand in choosing a career that you are meant to explore. I am amazed at how accurate it is. And I actually confirmed that one career path that I should dive into is motivational speaking. I am currently working with a coach about this. (If interested, let me know and I will connect you with him).

    Reflect on the information that you have learned about yourself

    This is a journaling opportunity. Create a summary of all the things that you have learned about yourself.

    My self-acceptance journey is still ongoing. But learning and accepting myself made an impact on how I react to a lot of things. I no longer aim to be liked by others, now I aim to make an impact. And not just say yes to what others want to do. This made a huge improvement in my time with the people I love. I have also acknowledged the people I love to spend more time with.
    I am more intentional. And helps me react differently to adversities.

    Decide if there are things that you want to change and create a plan

    Yes, at the end of the day, you will need to decide if there are things that you want to change.

    You’re probably thinking, this is a self-acceptance journey in which you should be accepting yourself. Then why do you need to make a change?

    I know right? Yes. Self-acceptance is accepting yourself. That is why I said this journey is not to judge or condemn you. It is learning more about you and accepting the facts.

    Now, reflecting on what you have learned about yourself will help you realize if there are things that need to be worked on within yourself. To become a better version of yourself.

    I’ll share mine.

    In my self-acceptance journey, I’ve learned that I was a perfectionist. I was too hard on myself. I easily react negatively to certain comments. It was just beating myself down left and right.

    I decided to improve this mindset and made changes. Now, I am more gentle with myself. I seek progress instead of perfection. Was it easy, no. But it was a life-changing journey.

    There you have it gorgeous! Tips on how to fully accept yourself. Again, I will say that exploring self-acceptance can be a scary journey. And it is okay.

    This journey to self-acceptance though is not to make you feel uneasy about yourself. It is not to condemn you in any shape or form. I encourage you to see it as an empowering activity because getting to know who you are is a powerful tool to propel you to the next level or next step of your life.

    Please feel free to share this post with others, it’s the only way we can spread the knowledge and value to others.

    Always remember, even if you’re a man or a woman…

    Be bold,

    Be radiant,

    Be confidently you!