Ernie O Dacumos Yes, gorgeous, knowing the people you surround yourself with is a self-acceptance rule.
You’re probably asking how self-acceptance relates to the people you surround yourself with. Well, let me enlighten you.
One of the factors that make us who we are today is the people we surround ourselves with. As you have learned from my previous blog post, “Why is Self-Acceptance a path worth taking“. I shared that learning about self-acceptance also gives you a better understanding of others. This means knowing the people you surround yourself with.
These people are your loved ones. Your family. Friends. Partner. Co-worker. Basically, the people who are within your network. The same people who we tend to ask for advice for any life decisions that we have to make.
You know that moment when you wanted to become a singer, yet your parents want you to work in the medical field?
In moments when you are tired of your job and you wanted to quit. Yet a good friend of yours tells you that there are no other jobs better than what you have. Why quit?
Or when you started a business or become an entrepreneur, yet someone close to you says, it’s a scam. Another person would say, don’t do it, you are taking away your fixed income.
Now, I am not here to say that these people are there to crush your dreams. Or these people are bad for you. Far from that! What I want you to learn from this post are:
- These people respond based on their mindset, not yours
- These people may not see the vision that you have
- They can hinder you from doing what will make you happy
This is why the title of this blog post is “knowing the people you surround yourself with”. I wanted to share how I’ve learned to analyze the people I surround myself with to use it to my own advantage.
Remember the quote…
You cannot change the people around you but you can change the people around you.
-anonymous
Such a mind puzzle right? It means that you cannot change the people around you right now. But you can change the people you surround yourself with. So, if you know the people you surround yourself with, you will know how to react around them. Let’s dive in.
Knowing the people you surround yourself with
People who are negative Nancy
I hate to break it to you but being around these types of people is not inspiring. Those people always talk negatively about everything. Regardless of what activity you’re doing. Cooking. Watching a movie. Relaxing by the beach. These are the type of people who always have something to complain about. Again, you cannot change the people around you, but you don’t need to be around them all the time.
You see, it’s so easy to focus on the negative all the time. News feeds us negative stories. Unfortunate events. Which can result in anxiety and fears. Now, if you can choose the data you consume, well you can also choose the people to gather data from.
I am not saying to stop seeing these people. I am challenging you to spend less time with them and analyze how much change it is in your own personal emotions. Try it! I’ve done this and all I felt was… peace.
People who do not agree with your vision
Again, I’m not telling you to kick these people out of your life. I would just recommend finding the people who have the credentials to share your vision. Let me give you an example. When you are sick, you would go to a doctor and use their expertise to treat you correct? If you want to lose weight, you would go to a fitness guru or a trainer to help you with it. It’s the same concept with everything else in your life.
Qualify the people whom you will share your vision with. If you want to quit your job and get a better one, confide with people who are doing the job that you want. Or the people who have done the same leap that you plan to do. If your goal is to start your own business, do not ask your uncle who does not have any experience. Ask the person who has done it or the person who is currently in the transition of starting a business.
The people who have experience and knowledge about the path that you wanted to take will understand you in starting that journey. Trust me, a lot of them would even help you with it.
People who drain your energy
Do you know people whom when you spend time with them for a few minutes? Or for a short period of time. And you feel drained?
Disclaimer, these are not your kids. I know you have to chase them around. Care for them and make sure that they stay alive. That is not the type of feeling drained that I am talking about.
Go ahead, sit down and reflect on the times when you are around people and analyze how you felt after. You will realize what I mean. Now, again there is nothing wrong with hanging out with these people but you have to give yourself boundaries.
If you keep hanging out with these people, you will end up with an empty cup. And you cannot give anything back with an empty cup.
So there you have it, knowing the people you surround yourself with. Analyzing and realizing how these three types of people can affect my day-to-day activities and emotions, helped me become more intentional with whom I spend my time.
I challenge you to do the same analysis and apply the recommendation given. And I would love to get your input about this post by commenting below.
