Self-acceptance is a phrase that we don’t talk about.
And to be honest, I did not know that self-acceptance existed until last year.
But what is self-acceptance?
According to Merriam Webster self-acceptance is:
Yes, it is accepting yourself unconditionally. Accepting YOU with your skills, knowledge along with your limitations. Your flaws, and weaknesses.
But just because you have weaknesses and flaws does not make you less of a person.
Gorgeous, You are powerful. You are authentic. You are unique. And there is only one YOU in this world.
Why is Self-acceptance a path worth taking?
- Gives you a better understanding of yourself
- It helps you learn to become the version of yourself whom you want to be.
- Gives you a better understanding of others
- It helps you see your value
- It results in self-confidence
The path to self-acceptance gives you a better understanding of yourself
Have you ever asked yourself these questions? Or made these comments before?
Why am I like this? Why do I do things this way?
I wish I am social like those people.
I wish I have that person’s confidence.
I am not smart like her.
I know I did. I remember getting mad with myself before because I don’t always finish what I started. I was too harsh on myself calling myself stupid for being a scatterbrain and I used to have anxiety.
Part of the self-acceptance journey is getting to know yourself. There are different ways to get to know yourself. One perfect activity is called Myers Briggs. It is a personality test to find out your personality type.
As I dove deeper into getting to know myself, I have learned so much about my personality. My human design even and my astrology. I have learned that the reason why I don’t always finish what I started, is because my human design is one that likes to learn and explore different things.
I don’t always finish what I started because I am always seeking something that will stimulate me. Something that will catch my interest. If the project that I am working on is no longer stimulating to me. I move on.
After learning and finding out about myself. I learned to understand the things that I do. And because of that, I understand myself more. I became more patient with myself. I became more compassionate with myself. I no longer beat myself up. I no longer talk negatively towards myself.
It helps you learn to become the version of yourself whom you want to be
Now, I am not saying that you are not good enough as you are now.
What I am saying is, we are who we are today based on how we are raised. Based on our environment. Based on the information that was given to us. And based on the information that we consume. But if you are aiming for something different. Aiming for something bigger and better than what you have now. We have to adjust to becoming that person as well.
I will use myself as an example. I am a shy introvert. I learned that my purpose is to become a motivational speaker and a writer. I had this clarity as I was diving into my personal development journey.
There is nothing wrong with being a shy introvert. But in order for me to become a speaker, I need to gather the courage and overcome being shy. In order for me to become an effective and successful writer, I have to improve and harness my skill.
I am accepting that I am a shy type of person but when it comes to public speaking, well the shyness goes away. I understood myself. But I also learned that I can change that personality to achieve what I want to become.
The path to Self-acceptance gives you a better understanding of others
Have you ever looked at someone and wondered why that person behaved that way?
Or have you questioned why certain people do things differently?
If yes, you are not alone. I have thought and wondered too. And if I am being honest, I have judged people before based on their behavior.
It is not until I dove into my self-acceptance journey that I had a better understanding of how other people are the way there are. I may not know their personality type, but I know that they act, behave, and do things the way they know-how. The way they are conditioned. Just like how I learned that I do, I behave and act a certain way because that is how I was conditioned.
And having this understanding helped me better communicate with others. It also helped me become more gentle with them. And my favorite, fewer frustrations, and resentment toward that person.
Self-acceptance helps you see your value
Let’s go back to how you speak with yourself. I’d like you to stop and think about how you speak with yourself.
Do you beat yourself up whenever you make a mistake?
Do you call yourself names that you wouldn’t call any loved one? Like, I’m so stupid. I am dumb. I look ugly. I am not smart enough. I am not beautiful enough.
I’ve told myself these and it may sound harmless at the moment but little did I know it is harming me inside. And it does the same thing to you
I am not sure if you have seen this video before. I believe it is by Jay Shetty. Jay had asked his guest to write every negative self-talk that she tells herself on a piece of paper.
After doing so, he surprised his guest by bringing her young sibling out on the stage. And instructed the guest to tell her sibling all the negative self-talk she tells herself. Of course, the guest declines to do so. When asked, she said that it’s mean words and she wouldn’t tell to anyone.
She was then asked, “Then why do you tell yourself those negative things if they can be hurtful?”
That video was mindblowing to me and I stopped calling myself names since then.
Diving deeper in your self-acceptance journey will help you learn that you are worth it. That you are valuable. And that you matter.
Yes, you will make mistakes. Yes, there are things that you will do wrong. But that is all there is, a mistake or wrongdoing. You are not stupid because of it. You are not a failure because of it. It is a state of being but it does not define who you truly are.
Knowing this will help you become more gentle with yourself. Learn that you have limits but it does not mean that those limits or flaws cannot be improved.
So gorgeous, if this information resonated with you, know that you are valuable. You have something to offer. You have to find out what it is.
The path to self-acceptance will result in confidence
How? Well, once you’ve learned more about yourself. Once you’ve accepted everything that you are. You will show up differently.
Knowing who you are gives that feeling of assurance that you know what you can do. And if you are able to do something. And if you are not, it’s a matter of analyzing if you want to learn it or if it is irrelevant.
As I’ve mentioned before confidence is a skill that can be learned. Part of the learning process is getting to know yourself. And accepting it regardless of the outcome. The more you learn about yourself the more you will accept who you truly are. The more effective you will show up not just for others but for yourself.
And there you have it gorgeous, the reasons why self-acceptance is a path worth taking. And if this is still not convincing to you. Let me ask you this, “Why is it that you are so eager to learn about others? Why is it that you are so eager to find out how other people tick?” Wouldn’t it be important to learn something about yourself too? Because in all reality, YOU are the most important person in your life.
I know that sounds selfish but it is not. The more you take care of yourself, the more effective you show up for others. You cannot help people if you are wounded. You cannot pour your knowledge into others if you are not improving yourself. You cannot be of value to others if you don’t know what you are capable of.
Just something to think about.