Let me repeat that again, “You are in control of your life”!
I love what Bill Gates said,
If you are born poor, it’s not your fault. But if you die poor, it’s your mistake
Bill Gates
Now, this quote will not apply to everyone. And not everyone will understand the meaning of it. I know, because I did not understand it at first.
This quote to me does not only talk about money but it is more about success.
What does success mean to you? You’re the only person who can answer that.
Success to me is living a life of freedom while making an impact on others.
You’re probably sitting there and saying, “Ernie, it’s easier said than done.” I agree!
But still, “You have control of your life”, why?
Reasons why you have control of your life
You always have a choice to have control of your life
You have the power to make a change
You can work towards that change
You have what it takes to take control of your life
You always have a choice to have control of your life
I know there are situations in which having a choice to have control of your life is out of reach. There are people from third-world countries who have no access to education. Some people may have no access to money. Or even some who have no idea where or how to get started.
But guess what, remember the proverb, “If there’s a will, there’s a way”? It is true.
And to be honest, most people who succeed are the ones who came from rock bottom. This proves that it does not matter where you come from. What matters is, where you want to go and how bad you wanted to get there.
I challenge you to look at the people you admire; an actor/actress, a politician, an author, a mentor. All of them did not get to where they wanted to be until they made a choice to take control of their life.
You have the power to make a change
You cannot change your destination overnight, bu you can change your direction overnight
Jim Rohn
As Jim Rohn expressed, “You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.” After making a choice to take control of your life, change has to come next.
You can make a change, it is always possible. Also, to let you in on a secret, change does not have to happen overnight but you can decide to make a change now. At this moment. As you read this blog post. Now, what that change will be is up to you.
You can work toward that change
You can work toward the change you wanted to take control of your life.
Noticed that I said, “You” because no one else will do it for it. Once you made a decision to take control of your life. Then started making the change. You are responsible to continue working toward that change.
Say, your health as an example. You wanted to have a body that you will be comfortable and confident in. A body that is healthy A body that you will love.
The first step is making a choice to have a healthy body and that is an example of taking control of your life. Then after the choice comes the change. Reading, planning, and testing what you’ve learned about how to have a healthy body. Then putting in the work; exercising, eating healthy, drinking water, etc.
See what it involves? It’s all you! You have to do the work.
You have what it takes to take control of your life
If you still don’t know that you have what it takes to this date after reading my blog post, then let me enlighten you further.
Life is worth living, you just have the courage to live it!
Ernelite Dacumos
I used that quote in my previous blog post, “You are what you are meant to be”. And there I explained that you are what you are meant to be, you just have to find out who that is. Feel free to read it.
So, if you are already what you are meant to be. That means, you already have what it takes to reach whatever it is that you desire. You need to turn that desire into a goal though. Then start working towards it.
Now, I am not saying it will be easy peasy. I am saying that you are capable. That you have the power. I am showing you that you have what it takes to take control of your life.
If those four things are not enough, then let me leave you with this…
At the heading of that chapter, he stated, “You must see value in yourself to add value to yourself”. This means you have to see that you are worth reaching whatever it is that you desire. In order for you to start working towards that desire.
It all starts with you! It’s a matter of perspective. If you think that you are not in control of your life and rely on others to take control of it for you. Then sadly, it is true.
But if you believe that you are in control because you do. Then I promise you. Everything that you will do from this moment on, will reflect that belief.
Again, you don’t need to look somewhere else as I have explained in my blog posts, You are the Strategy!
I am choosing that this post enlightens and motivates you that you are always in control of your life. You will have struggles, problems, and challenges that are out of your control. But you are in control of how you will stand up and face them.
I will repeat this again, “You are what you are meant to be! This may sound unclear but let me explain it.
Before I do, this blog post is more of a pep talk. And I would like to reflect on a quote that inspired me to type this blog post.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent
Eleanor Roosevelt
Why did I choose this quote?
Call me an overachiever. But one of the most important things that you need to reach whatever you desire is “courage”.
That’s it! It is not talent. Not hard work. And definitely not knowledge. It is having the courage.
I was discussing this with a friend a few days ago and he did not agree with me. I have this quote that I created which goes…
Life is worth living, you just have to have the courage to live it
Ernelita Dacumos
I say “courage” because we will face a lot of struggles in life. We will feel uncomfortable when we work towards our desires. But you know what will get you through it? Courage!
It’s been working for me so far. I am confident that it will work for you too.
How do I correlate this to Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote?
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”, well let’s see. Say, you are very unhappy with your current job. You’ve shared this with a friend or someone close and the response you received was, “stay where you are, it will be hard for you to change careers now”. “Changing jobs means starting over, you don’t want to start over do you?”
Now, I’m not saying those people are bad people. Those responses are signs of them caring for you. They don’t want you to suffer in the end. Which is valid.
But the choice of words is not empowering. Sadly, they are demotivating. And if you are not being careful, they can be crippling.
Mrs. Roosevelt’s quote applies to it because you will hear demotivating words. Crippling words. Those words will make you feel incapable. Or inferior even and at the end of the day, it is your choice if you will let those words be applied to you and your life.
Starting over is not a bad thing. May that be personal or professional. I have started over many times in my young life. And so far, I have learned that it wasn’t so bad at all. I have learned a lot. And I’ve come to a realization that starting over shows you how flexible you can be. And my secret, every time I start over, I start using the knowledge that I already have. So, technically, it is not starting over. It is entering a new chapter.
And what do you need to enter a new chapter in your life? “Courage”
Always remember, if you have that burning desire, do not be afraid to listen to it and do what you need to do to take that path.
You are what you are meant to be already.
“You are what you are meant to be” explained
Now, I need your full attention because I wanted you to get what I meant by this.
It is mind-blowing. Do you know that a child is born with his or her higher self?
What? I know, I said that too.
It means that you are what you are meant to be the moment you are born.
Unfortunately, you don’t know what you are meant to be until you have your clarity moment. Why? Because the first 7 years of your childhood are about learning and absorbing. And those are; your parent’s values, traditions, environment, etc. So, you become the average of all those things. And that is not who you are meant to be.
You develop fears. Limiting beliefs. Traumas. Your own values. Your ways. That are not entirely yours.
And then, you go through your journey of being who you want to be. I hate to break it to you, you were misled. Once you found clarity, the journey will be, finding who you are.
It is inside you. You are what you are meant to be, just needed to wake up. You just have to bring it out of you.
Also have the courage to:
Go through the journey
Break down walls and barriers
Start the healing process
Unlearn limiting beliefs
It sounds like a lot of work. But as you peel off every skin. Remove all the unnecessary parts. You will see your higher self again.
So the next time you have a burning desire to change. Burning desire to do something. Don’t shrug it off. Face it. Develop the courage to explore it. That is your inner self guiding you.
And when you do, this will result in you meeting the person you are meant to be.
I hope you found value in this pep talk and I would love for you to share this with someone who may need to read it.
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Lack of inspiration or motivation is something that you would experience. Which is normal. But it is what we do next matters.
In my personal development journey, I have come across days of just pure lack of inspiration.
That moment when you get home from work and all you wanted to do is sit back. Relax. Or watch a movie on Netflix.
There would be times on the weekend when you just want to sleep in and forget about the load of tasks you have set for yourself that day.
Even times when you just want to leave the house and hang out with friends in the evening and have some fun.
Lastly, there will be moments where you will ask yourself, why do I have to take a different route than everyone else?
My answer to those questions? Because you decided to make an impact and live a purposeful life.
When I had clarity of who I am meant to become, which is an International Motivational Speaker. I lost count of how many times I asked, “how in the world will I be able to fulfill that purpose?” But despite not knowing, I am reminded why I want to become one. And I will trust that my Creator will lead the way.
Just like what Mr. John Maxwell stated in his book, The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth,
There are things in life that you have to work for and there are things you have to wait for.
John Maxwell
In this blog post, I would like to share how to keep taking action despite a lack of inspiration. More so, to avoid procrastination.
Tips on how to take action despite lack of inspiration
Asking the question, Is this getting me closer or getting me farther?
I have to versus I get to (Mindset)
Take the next step on the task when you lack inspiration
Asking the question, “Is this getting me closer or getting me farther?
H.P. Liddon, chancellor of St. Paul’s in London, observed…
What we do on some great occasion will depend on what we are; and what we are will be the result of previous years of self-discipline”
Yes, it takes self-discipline to stay consistent. But it does not mean that you will always be motivated. Just like what I’ve shared in my previous blog post, “Reasons why consistency is key to everything”. We will not have the motivation to take action all the time, but since you have been taking action day in and day out. It will become a habit.
But I know there are still days when motivation and consistency are not enough. Trust me, it happens!
And on days when lack of inspiration comes, I ask myself, “Is this getting me closer, or getting me farther?”
I’ve provided example scenarios below for you:
“Is sitting here and watching a movie from Netflix for two hours getting me closer or getting me farther from finishing the book that I am reading?”
“Is going to a club tonight getting me closer or further from finishing the classes that I promise myself I will study tonight?”
This question instantly lights up a fire in me to take action.
“I have to” versus “I get to” (mindset)
I have learned this way of thinking from Mr. David Meltzer. He is a Speaker, Author, Sports Executive, Investor, and Entrepreneur, and is well known on social media.
The teaching was, instead of thinking, “I have to”, why not say, “I get to”?
Mindset mentor Rob Dial Jr., also confirmed this mindset. Saying “I have to” makes you feel like you are doing a chore. But saying, “I get to” gives you that power and thinking that you are in control. Which is true!
According to the World Population Review website, 166,279 people die in a day. And here you are, alive and well. Those people will never fulfill their goals in life. And you do! You ‘get to’ work on your dreams.
Imagine those people who are bed-ridden and stuck in the hospital. They are not able to go to the gym and exercise. You ‘get to’ do that!
You see, there are things in life that we don’t realize we take for granted. Unless it is laid in front of us.
So, in times when you lack the inspiration to do something, think about this perspective.
Take the next step on the task when you lack inspiration
Alright, gorgeous! When all else fails, here is another tip for you. Do it one step at a time.
This is something I do more often. Especially when I feel like I am beat and my hormones are overtaking me. And my actions. I take action by taking the next step on whatever it is I want to do.
For example, if I were to write the next blog post and I lack the inspiration to do so, I will take the next step. What is the next step? Well, the next step is to sit in front of a computer. Then turn on the computer. Opening “WordPress”. After that, start typing. It doesn’t matter what I am typing, just start. I find this very effective every time.
Another example of something I lack inspiration for most of the time is going to the gym. After a long day at work, and like I said earlier, it’s nice to just sit down and relax. What I would do is go to my room and pick out my gym clothes. I would wear them. Then head to my car. By that time, I am driving toward the gym.
Once I am at the gym, the voice in my head would start panicking and tell me, I need to relax and rest. Now, I know that I get to relax and rest plenty. It’s not something I need at the moment. I would just hop on a treadmill, and put my high vibration music on. The next thing I know, I am jogging and jiving to my music.
There you are gorgeous, here are my secrets on how to take action despite lack of inspiration. I would love to hear your input in the comments below.
You may have come across a few articles on how to overcome Imposter syndrome. But is it really something we overcome?
In my journey, I have learned that it is more effectiveto work with Imposter Syndrome. Than than overcoming it. I personally believe that it is not something we overcome. We will come across events and scenarios in our life where we will again face imposter syndrome.
It is a matter of how we deal with the imposter syndrome at that time.
a psychological condition that is characterized by persistent doubt concerning one’s abilities or accomplishments accompanied by the fear of being exposed as a fraud despite evidence of one’s ongoing success
To me, imposter syndrome is that feeling of not being good enough. Despite all the achievements one has achieved. I have experienced this throughout my journey. Personal and Professional.
The thoughts…
Who do you think you are?
Do you really think you can do it?
How will you do it?
Who are you to do it?
Again, these thoughts are not very motivating. These questions are the ones that will make you feel like you are in a fight or flight mode. It is not a good feeling.
This is why I am writing this blog post to share how I deal with Imposter Syndrome.
Techniques on how to deal with imposter syndrome
Surround yourself with people who will push you and support you.
Talk and confide with people you trust
Do it scared
Record and celebrate your accomplishments
Improve yourself and be teachable
Stop comparing yourself with others
Learn from each setback, challenge, and problem that you will face
Surround yourself with people who will push you and support you
You are the average of the five people you hang out with.
Jim Rohn
According to Jim Rohn, “You are the average of the five people you hang out with. I find this comment true.
If you hang out with the five most hard-working people, you will be the six. If you hang out with the five smartest people you will be the six. If you hang out with the five most successful people you will be the six.
And if you hang out with the five most negative people, you will be the six.
You see, the people you surround yourself with, according to Rob Dial, can either be a battery or a vacuum.
Those people can either give you energy or suck the energy out of you. So, be mindful of the people you spend time with.
Talk and confide with the people you trust
What do I mean by this?
There will be situations in your life when fear and limiting beliefs will hinder you. Hinder meaning prevent you from taking action on whatever it is you want to do.
One perfect example was when I was asked if I would like to speak on a podcast as a guest. I was very excited then so I accepted the offer.
I was filling out the registration form and all of a sudden my imposter syndrome came at me. I had this thought that I cannot do the podcast because I am not qualified enough. I reached out to the host and advised her that I no longer want to do the podcast.
She was very patient with me, we hopped on a call and talked it through. I confided with her and shared the reasons why I no longer wanted to proceed with the podcast. That call ended on a positive note and I ended up realizing that I was having the imposter syndrome . I ended up doing the podcast and did really well.
So, again, surround yourself with the right people. Confide in them, and they will push you where you wanted to go, they will help you get there. Versus running away, and hiding, and just not asking for help.
Do it scared
I did this a lot. The way I deal with my imposter syndrome is acknowledging that it is there and taking action anyway. I did not have confidence in myself at the beginning of my journey. And I know that I can till improve my confidence right now. But when I started, I did it scared.
Before I had this fear of doing a ‘go-live’ on social media. I remember the very first time I went live. I was at a waterfront for an hour trying to gather the courage to press the go-live button on my phone. I was so scared, I was sweating, and I did not know what to do. I did it anyway. The live video last for 3 minutes. I forgot about the fear and started talking and the words came out naturally. My voice was cracking. I was trying to catch my breath. But I still did it.
So again, do it scared gorgeous. I promise you, you will be surprised of how much you can do by using this technique.
Record and celebrate your accomplishments
This technique is very important gorgeous because you will have a lot of wins in your journey. That is if you choose to take action. It will be so much that you forget what accomplishments and wins you’ve done.
Lack of reminder of your accomplishments helps imposter syndrome find a way to overpower you.
I journal all my wins. Big and small. And I celebrate each one of them. Yes, each one! You should too! You deserve it!
Improve yourself and be teachable
Humans are designed for growth. Continously learning and growing helped me build the confidence I needed to deal with imposter syndrome. Personal development was crucial to get me where I needed to be. It was crucial to reach the next level of my journey. Now, there is a difference from academic learning and personal development. Personal development is working with YOU.
Working in your own growth. Learning life skills that will help propel you forward. Learning information that are not taught in school.
We now live in a generation where you can get information easily. You just have the initiative to learn. Read a book. Listen to podcast. Join a mastermind. Be an avid learner. And I promise you, you will see, feel, and think differently.
Stop comparing yourself with others
Let me say that again, stop comparing yourself with others.
Remember, I shared how I decided to back out on an opportunity to speak on a podcast intervew? That was because I compared myself to others. I compared myself to the other speakers and thought that I was not as successful like them. I was not as skillful as them.
Chabidaye, the host of that podcast reminded me that I should not compare myself to others. The only person I can compare myself with was the person I was yesterday. So, gorgeous this is for you too. You are smart, capable, and authentic just by being You!
Learn from each setback, challenge, and problem that you will face
This technique was huge for me. I have encountered a lot of adversities in my journey. A lot of setbacks. A lot of struggles. And yes, they will come.
You should expect those adversities, setbacks, and struggles in your journey. Life will suck. Life will feel unfair. Life will feel like you shouldn’t move forward.
Now my question is, what will be your next move?
Will you give up or you will learn from the setback. Will you throw in the towel or will you analyze what went wrong? Will you let adversities cripple you, or will you get back up and try again?
So there you are gorgeous, the techniques I used on how to deal with imposter syndrome. Let me know your thoughts about this post through the comments below. Share this to someone who may need to hear it as well. Let’s spread positivity and motivation around. Remember…
Consistency is key to everything! Yes, gorgeous! You read that right. Being consistent is the key to everything.
It is the key to becoming good at what you want to do. It is the key to getting the job that you want. It is the key to building confidence. It is the key to becoming successful.
Here I am motivating you, yet I tell you that the key to everything is consistency and not motivation. Trust me, I was shocked too.
Why motivation is not the key to success is, because motivation only lasts for so long. You can be listening to a podcast and it will get you all fired up for the day then you need to replenish that motivation.
You can go to a motivational speaking conference, again all fired up. And you cannot wait to go out there and start doing the thing that you wanted to do and it’s all great. But this is a big but, there will be days when you will not be motivated. There will be days when you will not feel like doing the things you promised yourself to do.
And on those days, is when consistency makes an impact.
Why? Well, let me show you the reasons why consistency is key to everything.
Reasons why consistency is key to everything
Consistently doing something gives you results
Consistency compounds
It makes the task feel lighter, bearable, and manageable
It gives you confidence in yourself
Consistency results in credibility
Consistently doing something gives you results
How does consistently doing something give results?
Let me give you an example. Let’s say there is a tree in your backyard that you have been wanting to cut for a long time. Every time you see the tree and it is growing bigger and bigger, the more urge you have to cut it.
But having the urge will not give you the results right?
Thinking about cutting the tree every day will also not give you the results.
Grabbing an ax and starting to cut the tree will give you the results. Not just give you results but will show you the results.
Consistency compounds
Yes, it does compound! What do I mean by it?
Let’s use the tree problem as an example and apply it to your busy life. I understand that you are busy. I understand that you have a life to live so if you want to be good at something you have to make time for it.
Let’s say that in a day, you can only go to the backyard and hit the tree with the ax five times. Again, the next day you hit the tree with the ax fix times.
Do you see the logic? Every action that you take. May it be big or small. It compounds. Hitting the tree every day has a compounding result because you are not starting over again. You are starting where you left off the day before.
Another example is investing. Putting money in to invest every month for the next ten years will compound. Because every time you put money in, you are not starting where you initially started. The interest accrues on the amount that is currently on the investment.
Consistency is key because it makes the task feel lighter, bearable, and manageable
Staying consistent makes the task feel lighter, bearable, and manageable. How? Because doing something over and over and over again every day actually builds a habit.
It will suck at first, that’s for sure. But once you consistently do it, your body gets used to it. Let’s use the tree concept again.
As I said, we do not have a lot of time in a day to get something done. And sometimes, at the end of the day, you will not have the motivation to get up and hit the tree with an ax. But since you have been doing it for weeks since maybe it’s a big tree. And it has become a part of your habit. Your body will automatically get out of the house. Go to the backyard. Pick up the ax and start hitting on that tree five times.
Consistency is key because it gives you confidence in yourself
It shows that to gain confidence, you have to be competent at it first. To become competent, you have to do the task over and over again. That is consistency!
Consistency results in credibility
Last but not the least, consistency results in credibility. Doing the work will start with you. Doing the work will give and show results. It will be building a habit. And it will give you that confidence that you have been working on every day consistently.
After all, this is done, the result will become visible to others as well. Others will see the outcome but not the effort. Once they see the outcome though, others will see you as credible to teach and show them the effort needed to get the results.
Credibility can also be credibility in yourself. The more you face another task to do. The more you practice consistency. The more you build that credibility in yourself that you know you will get to where you want to be. And that is because you know the secret recipe on how to get there.
And that’s it gorgeous! The reasons why consistency is the key to everything. Let me know what your key takeaway from this post in the comments below, I love to hear your input. Also, do not forget to subscribe for any random motivational emails from me.
A journey of a thousand miles, begins with a single step
Lao Tzu
This quote was one of my favorite quotes when I was in high school. But I will be transparent, I did not understand the full meaning of it, until now. And it is that we have to take things one step at a time.
In my personal development journey, I have learned that everything we do in life is a journey.
Everything that we wanted to achieve in life is a journey.
Life in itself is a journey.
In today’s time though we see that it is easy to get what we wanted to have. It is what they call ‘instant gratification’.
We are shown how easy it easy to make money online, to find out that it takes hard work to truly make it. Save it. And grow it.
Seeing how easy it is to make money through cryptocurrency, NFTs, etc. And yes it is easy to make that money. But if and only if you make the educated decision, like the people who succeeded in it. Because if you do not, then it is easy to lose that money as well.
Nowadays it is easy to get food. It is easy to go from one place to another. It is easy to have access to the information that you wanted to read about.
The majority of information that we see on any social media platform says and shows us that it is ‘easy’.
I hate to break it to you gorgeous, but as the quote says, “Nothing worthwhile comes easy”.
As I have written in my previous blog post, “5 Reasons why it is important to invest in yourself”. It takes work to become the best version of yourself and it needs to start with you. You need to start investing in yourself.
The journey of improving yourself needs to start somewhere. The journey of starting a relationship needs to start somewhere. The journey of becoming a success needs to start somewhere. And that is to start with a single step, then another step, and then another.
This is why I am sharing this post with you.
Importance of taking things one step at a time:
It keeps you on the right track
Taking things one step at a time keeps you on the right track. Instead of focusing on the end goal. Focus on the next step and make that your next goal.
Taking things one step at a time keeps you on the right track because you’re breaking it down into bit-size steps that are achievable.
And if it is achievable then you will procrastinate less and take more action.
It avoids feeling overwhelmed
Taking things one step at a time will avoid feeling overwhelmed. When I had clarity of my purpose in life, I honestly felt overwhelmed.
I did not realize that my calling is for something bigger. Something that I was so scared to see if it was something I can handle.
If your dreams don’t scare you, they are too small.
Richard Branson
As Richard Branson’s quote, “If your dreams don’t scare you, they are too small” resonates with my purpose. And how uplifting it can be, I will be honest that it is overwhelming and scary.
And when we feel overwhelmed, we tend to overthink. Overthinking can paralyze us into taking action. Overthinking causes procrastination.
So, instead of thinking of the end goal, look at the next step as mentioned in the step above. Take it one step at a time which makes it less scary and achievable.
Avoid taking the wrong path
Taking things one step at a time helps you avoid taking the wrong path.
Have you heard of ‘shiny objects’? Shiny objects are opportunities that come along your journey. These are outside of what you had planned or set out to do.
Let me give you a few examples:
You started your own business in the financial industry and you are doing really well. Making an impact and helping others. Then your business reached a plateau, and it is not making progress. All of a sudden, you see a business idea called, “Affiliate Marketing”. And people are raving about the money they are making through that. That is called a shiny object.
You have been in a relationship for a long time. And all of a sudden, you and your partner started arguing and it feels like, your relationship is falling apart. Then you meet another woman. That is a shiny object.
You are currently working for a company and you love what you do. A friend of yours said that he or she is planning to quit and move to a different company. That friend wants you to do the same as the salary is higher. That is a shiny object.
Now, shiny objects are not always bad, it is not as always good either.
You will hit challenges in your journey. You will come across problems that may look challenging at that time to solve. Shiny objects can serve as an eye-opener to you or they can cause you to lose sight of the journey that you wanted to take.
It is up to you to make that decision because sadly shiny objects can make you feel lost and stuck. The good thing is, you can start over again.
My advice, make sure you know what you truly want to achieve. Focus on it. Take things one step at a time and see them through.
In any journey you choose. Starting a business. Changing careers. Personal development journey. Focus on that. And see it through.
Like what the mindset mentor, Rob Dial did for his business. He started his podcast and it took 3 years for him to see growth in his business. Three years! He stayed focused. And took it one step at a time. By creating one podcast after another. Now he is reaping the rewards of that success.
It gives you a better result
Taking things one step at a time gives you a better result.
Yes, gorgeous. Taking one step at a time is like one milestone at a time. If you take one step and finish it, then that’s progress.
And guess what, when you see progress, then you will be more inclined to do the next step. Again, once done, that is another milestone. Then the cycle continues.
So, to summarize this post, again “Nothing worth doing comes easy.” But it is possible if we take one action or one step at a time.
You cannot think your way through anything you desire. You cannot wish your way through anything you desire. You cannot say you are trying yet not take the first step.
The key is, to take the step, then the next step, and the next.
I love what Damian Johnson said, “Let’s not fight invisible dragons” meaning do not let your fears, limiting beliefs, and planning hinders you from taking action. Because those fears, limiting beliefs, and problems that you’ve thought of that is all they are… invisible. They do not exist.
But action is apparent. It gives you progress. It moves the needle. It creates impact. And guess what? It will give you confidence. So again, just take it one step at a time.
I hope you are found value in this blog post gorgeous and I ask for you to spread and share it with others who may benefit from it as well.
If you were to ask me, for advice to give someone who wants to start driving towards their goals. It would be, “Learn why it is important to invest in yourself.”
I know gorgeous; you are a dreamer and an action taker. This is why this post will definitely benefit you in your journey. That journey may be the following below, but learning to invest in yourself is a huge factor :
-starting your own business
-changing your career
-starting your career
-moving from one country to another
-or even a personal journey of becoming more confident in yourself
Now, what do I mean by investing in yourself?
When we hear the word invest, the first thing that comes to mind is ‘money’ right?
Well investing in yourself is not just about spending money. Investing in yourself means investing time, effort/energy, money.
You can make monetary investments by say investing in stocks, crypto, now NFTs. But that investment will not succeed, if you do not put the ‘time’ in to learn about the products that you are investing in. and when you put the time in, you must make an ‘effort’ to understand and learn it
You can buy all the personal development books available. But if you don’t make time to read each book. Gather the energy to take action on your learnings, then it would be irrelevant.
So, investment in yourself requires a combination of all three.
Michael Schrage, states that Knowledge alone is not power.
“The ability to act on knowledge is power.”
Michael Schrage
Which to me is quite powerful and true.
Now that you have the idea of what I meant.
Here are the five reasons why it is important to invest in yourself.
1. It is important to invest in yourself because it results in a higher ROI.
We live in today where information is easily accessible. You don’t even need to be at home in front of a computer to find whatever information you need. All you have to do is to access the web browser on your phone and you will find the information you are looking for.
And because of that knowledge, we tend to have the mindset that we can get the information we need for ‘free’. And when there is a cost or investment needed, we look in the other direction.
I know how this feels, I went through this too, but gorgeous, everything in life comes with a cost. It’s not a crime, it’s how it is. It requires a little improvement in the “money mindset” department is all.
Let me give you a few examples:
You wanted to earn a degree, right? You go to a university and what do you need to do to enroll? Money. Today there are ‘financial aid’ available that you can pay off even after you have graduated.
You wanted to buy food at a grocery store, what do you need to buy the food? Money.
You wanted a roof over your head, what do you need to get it? Money.
So why do we hesitate when we hear the word, invest?
I dove into entrepreneurship several times. The first thing they to me was I have to invest money into my business. Guess what I did?
I turned around and called it a scam.
So, I get it. And trust me, learning that to improve I needed to put money out first was tough, but guess what the outcome is?
Higher Return of Investment (ROI).
In a job, if you don’t have a degree and experience, your salary starts at a base rate. So, you go to school for higher pay right?
I’ve seen this quote but am not sure who said it…
“Billionaires lose millions to become billionaires. Millionaires lose thousands to become millionaires. Broke people want to lose nothing to become rich and successful.”
And it hit hard. So, next time you wanted to start something. And comes with a cost, reflect on that quote first before shying away from it.
Yes, you may get information for free. But I can confidently tell you that the ‘free’ information that you are getting is basic. Anything on the next level will not be free. That information is what you need to propel forward. To reach the next level on the journey that you wanted to take.
2. It is important to invest in yourself because you learn to be gentler with yourself.
As I said earlier, if you’re reading this blog post, I know that you are a dreamer and you wanted to make an impact. But to deliver, there is a lot of inner work that you need to do. And that is what we call your personal development journey.
Have you heard of the term, “Overachiever”? Yeah?
Has anyone called you an overachiever? Me too!
And it’s not a bad thing. I see it as a compliment, and I aim to function like one. But what we don’t realize is the disadvantage of having high expectations which result to:
a. Beating yourself up
I have done this many times. I’ve called myself, “stupid” because I made a mistake. “Ugly” because I cannot look good enough. And these words are damaging.
b. Being a perfectionists
If you have considered yourself a perfectionist, “Do not shoot me”. I have learned that being a perfectionist means that you are hiding from fear. Yes, you read it. Hiding from fear. And, that fear is fear of not being good enough.
c. Stress and overwhelm
This is a domino effect. If you are being a perfectionist. Ensuring that every detail is planned out to the T can result in delay. And it can be very stressful and overwhelming. I get it. I was there too.
Once you have invested in yourself. You will learn, that the journey you are taking or planning to take will take time. And will need patience.
You can still be an overachiever but an overachiever who understands. And have more patience with yourself. It does not have to be perfect, it is all about progress.
3. It is important to invest in yourself because you will live a healthy life.
Investing in yourself gives you access to a lot of knowledge if you are open to learning it. Although, I wanted you to learn one important thing in this equation, and that is YOU.
I spoke with a good friend of mine yesterday. He asked me what I am currently working on.
The conversation started because he wanted to invite me to dinner. When it comes to food, I will accept. (This is my weakness!)
Anyway, he knows that I am always working on something. I told him that I started this blog and posted content weekly.
I am halfway done with my studies to become a motivational speaker. And work, and putting out content. I asked him the same question.
Then he told his current projects. And that he is looking forward to our dinner as he had lost a lot of weight from the diet that he is currently following. Mind you, this man is very knowledgeable. And is health-conscious which reminded me of my current weight.
Vulnerability moment: I gained 25 pounds since October of last year. And haven’t done anything to lose some weight. In my defense, the weight I gained was from being sick back then and I have not set it as a priority to focus on my health.
I told him, to not laugh at me when he sees me because I have gained weight. That is when I got yelled at. Well, reminded I should say. He stopped me midway through speaking and said, “Ernie! You are busy! You are working full time. You cater to everyone who needs your help! At work and outside of work. You have a blog. You are studying. You are managing your social media. Yet you are not giving time to take care of YOU!”
Thank God, for real friends, right? And like I said, this is the journey that I am sharing with you.
I know how important it is to invest in myself and to take care of myself, which I do. But sometimes, we need something or someone who will ‘yell’ at us and tell us the truth.
So, guess what I did. I planned. I went to the grocery store, bought healthy food. Promised to lessen carbs and sweets and exercise at least three times a week.
I have been in my personal development journey for a few years now. Like I said earlier, in any journey that you take, the most important person on the equation is YOU.
So, it is important to remember that living a healthy life is part of the journey. Why?
Because like what my friend told me with the rest of my conversation with him.
I may be able to do all the things I am doing now, but it will catch on to me.
And if I don’t take care of myself enough. Who will go through ‘my’ journey? No one!
4. It is important to invest in yourself because it will give you more confidence.
Confidence is a vital asset in anyone’s success. Whatever the journey is, if there is no confidence, there will be no progress.
Confidence has a lot of meaning, but I love how Mel Robin defined it.
“Confidence is having the courage to take action and do it over and over again.”
Like the competent confidence loop. Taking action will help you become competent. Once you have done it over and over to a point where you can do it even when with your eyes close. That is where confidence is.
So, investing in yourself; taking the time to learn, making an effort to do it over again give you more confidence.
Dr. John Maxwell had mentioned so many times that “anything we do the first time will not be perfect”. So, if we invest in ourselves, there is no other way but up.
5. It is important to invest in yourself because it will get you closer to your desires.
I love when John Maxwell said, “some people have uphill hopes, but downhill habits”. Meaning some people want to dream high but are not willing to go through the hardship of getting there.
Which is, to be honest, true. It’s the same with investing money in comparison to getting the information for free. We live in a world of instant gratification.
You wanted food, you don’t have to go to the store, you can grab your phone and have it delivered to your doorstep.
You wanted to watch a movie, you don’t have to go to the movie theatre, you can sit on your couch and buy the movie there.
These are valid things that are beneficial to us but at the same time, investment is still required. Which is money.
What do I mean by investing in yourself will get you closer to your desires though?
Let me give you a specific example. I am confident that this example will give you the message of this post.
One of my desires was to create a blog where I can pour my knowledge and share my journey with you. Also to motivate you to go through your own journey.
As easy as that may sound, it was not an easy journey. Why?
It was not easy because, in order for me to gain knowledge, I have to go through hardship. I have to go through the experience, I have to go through the struggles. I invested in courses. Read books. listened to podcasts and learned from them. When I felt stuck by myself, I invested in hiring a coach. Where I learned more about myself. Started my healing journey. And added more practices that helps me now to become the person I wanted to become.
I, later on, learned that I wanted to make an impact, hence the blog idea came up.
I have no knowledge of how to build a website, let alone a blog. I invested money, time, and effort in learning how to build it.
Learned how to build a website. How to add images, what images to put, to come up with good quality images, and most of all to type up each content every week.
And here it is now.
If I did not invest in myself, If I did not invest time, money, energy in myself. This blog, this website will not come to the surface.
So gorgeous therefore it is important, that any journey you want to take, needs to start with YOU. It is important that you invest in yourself first.
I would love to know your input on this post. Feel free to comment below.
We live in a very different world now and to be honest it seems like the norm is farfetched. It took a lot of adjustments from all of us and adapting to get to where we are now.
Resilient is the word that describes you! Imagine having to deal with everything in your life. Taking care of your family, supporting them, working, living your own life, dealing with your own emotions. It’s a lot!
I am on the same boat too. But I have the following tricks up my sleeve to keep the positivity in my life and my dear, I want to share it with you. I am choosing these tricks will help you too.
Shift your thoughts
Instead of stating the negative, focus on the positive. I know that this does not happen overnight, but one minor change has a compounding effect, my dear. Be gentle with yourself and practice looking on the positive side of things.
No one wants to hang out with a Debbie Downer and you are not one of them.
If I am stuck in traffic and about to be late for work, I focus on the positive. I am alive, I am healthy and I am on my way to my job and earn money. There is no point in getting frustrated. It ruins your day even more.
Whenever I go grocery shopping for one item and came back home with a cart full of items but the one item that I needed, I shrug my shoulder and move on. I used to call myself stupid for forgetting it and dear, it doesn’t feel good at all.
If you are not chosen for the promotion that you have been working hard for and thought that the person who got it didn’t deserve it. It’s okay, think that something bigger is in line for you.
Everything happens for a reason my dear, focus on the good outcomes even though it’s hard to see sometimes.
Consume positive content
This is huge! I was never fond of watching the news, reality shows, or anything of the like because the content is either drama or negativity.
Let me ask you this when was the last time you watched the news on T.V. and felt alive and motivated? Very rare right? And you can’t even remember. That is because the content is all negative that it drains your energy and you don’t realize it.
Choose to read or watch contents that promote positivity, this blog for example.
Surround yourself with positive people
You can’t change the people around you, but you can change the people around you
Anonymous
Debbie Downers, Negative Nancys are not the ideal people to surround yourself with. These people will not change for you, but you can change and choose the people you surround yourself with.
You can choose to be with the people who have the same visions as you. People who will cheer and support you on everything you do. People who are willing to teach you. People who motivate you.
Change your mood
Bad things happen all the time right? But are we supposed to let it get to us? Are we supposed to let it ruin our day? No.
We have the power to change our mood and shift the day to become better.
Here are ways on how I change my mood:
Listening to music. Listening to positive and upbeat music to be exact. ( e.g Broken and beautiful by Kelly Clarkson and Titanium by David Guetta feat Sia).
Dancing to high vibing music.
Listen to a podcast. I listen to motivational podcasts on Spotify. Mindset Mentor by Rob Dial is one of my favorites or even motivational videos on Youtube.
Sex. Don’t deny it. The feeling after being intimate changes our mood.
Practice self-love
This is pretty obvious. Whatever your definition of self-love is. A massage, mani-pedi, spa, facial, or whatever self-pampering activities, practice it more often.
My self-love activities are:
Going to beach
Earthing (being one with nature)
Hiking
Exercising – to stay healthy and stay active
Meditation
Journaling
Hypnosis audios
Eating ice cream
Watching movies
Sitting with myself
Again, we always have a choice. You always have a choice and you can choose to do things to improve. Improve yourself. Improve your surrounding. Improve your emotions. All these resulting in you protecting your energy.
You deserve it! Let me know how these tricks helped you, can’t wait to chat about it.
Your happiness is no one else’s responsibility but YOURS
Ernie o Dacumos
Let that quote sink in for a moment gorgeous. Three years ago, I had this notion that my happiness comes from someone else. I believed that I am supposed to find a partner to “complete” me.
Someone who would be there as my knight in shining armor and save me like a damsel in distress. But we are living in a generation now where women and men are becoming more independent. Young men or women who focus on finding their calling in life and going after it. While others party or some starts a family.
I will be completely honest, I have dated a few men and it did not work out. Now, to keep this clear, this post is not for single men or women only, it is for those who have a partner as well. This post is to give you a different perspective. Some of you may find this as an AHAH moment, some of you may know this already and that’s fine. Now going back to me dating and them not working out, I was given advice before that my judgment when it comes to men are…. well a little poor.
And I accepted it. So, I took a break from dating and worked on myself. Mind you, it took me years to realize that my potential relationship did not work out because I have set an expectation. An expectation of our happiness comes from the outside source, not the inside.
Dr. John Maxwell had shared one of his stories with his wife, he was newly-wed at the time and he and his wife were in a conference. Someone from the table where they were sitting had asked his wife, Margaret, and said, “Does John make you happy?” Her response was, “No.” everyone looked at her surprised. Dr. John Maxwell looked at her and asked, “Babe, do you want to continue with your answer?”
Margaret then proceeded to say, “John did not make me happy in the first 6 months of our relationship because I expected him to make me happy. I realized that in order for me to be happy, I have to learn how to make myself happy and do the things that make me happy. That is when I started to become happy, and by doing so, everything that John did and does for me, adds up to my happiness.” This was so beautiful, starting with ‘myself’ and showing love to myself is one way to start my happiness.
I’ve learned and said this…
I can only control me; my thoughts, my emotions, and my actions
If I set an expectation for someone else, that person will never understand, nor know what will make me happy. Which can cause resentment.
So, how did I start finding my happiness you ask? Self-love
Self-love is loving yourself flaws and all. How do I practice self-love? I have provided them below:
Take yourself out on a date or a vacation
Yes, gorgeous, this is one way to show that happiness starts with you. Take yourself out on a date. I used to feel so embarrassed when seen alone like I’ve committed a crime because I was taking myself out on dinner.
But when I learned about self-love, I didn’t care. I remember, one of the times when I took myself out on a date at a restaurant, the host asked me, will it be you tonight? I said, “Yes!”, then he grabbed all the extra plates, wine glass, and silverware. I remember even saying to myself, yes, I can afford to eat here and pay for it on my own. I must say, that’s a bit of a way to boost confidence.
Also, travel or explore places, you would be surprised how impactful the feeling of being able to do it on your own. And this is regardless of whether you have a kid or a partner. I admire people who still travel. Have a weekend getaway with friends or a couple who would still have date nights after having a baby. Remember, you were ‘someone’ before any major changes in your life happened. Do not forget that man or woman that you are because when you do, well you know what happens…unhappiness arises.
Buy yourself what you expect someone to give you
For example, buying yourself flowers. Trust me, I like the idea of getting flowers, though I’m allergic to most of them, I love the gesture. Buying yourself something that you expect someone else to buy for you can be quite powerful. Why is it powerful you ask? Because, it’s an expectation that was set, but why can’t we buy it ourselves? In my case, I am more inclined to buy books. And the feeling of getting it… gives me feel pure bliss.
Move your body
I didn’t say exercise gorgeous, I said move your body. Moving your body gives you more energy and improves your mood, and guess what, it is happiness starting in you. Happiness starts inside of you. Self-love is also making sure that you are moving your body. May it be going for a walk, doing push-ups at home, cleaning the house, going outside. Something to move your body.
One thing I observe is when I come home and sat on the couch for hours, I actually feel unfulfilled. I have heard this quote from the mindset mentor podcast, Rob Dial, that “Action drowns inaction”.
Instead of you thinking of needing to do something. Beating yourself up mentally for not doing it, actually stand up and do it.
Have a spa day
Yes, as we all know, “spa day” means pampering yourself, it is definitely a form of self-love. I love getting massages and wish to get them more often. You deserve to have a relaxing moment with yourself and even with your friends. Men, well, a haircut or mani and Pedi can be a spa day too!
Rest
Resting was tough for me to apply, but what do I mean by resting and how is it connected to your own happiness.
Well let’s see, have you hustled through your day even though you’re feeling under the weather? Like, oh I don’t know, going to work even though you have flu. In my case, going to work while having a bad allergic reaction. Gasping for air and hives all over my body even though my body is screaming, “what are you doing, I wanted to rest!”
Feeling like sh*t, unable to focus, hurting… how does that make you happy?
I know, I know, you’ll say, well, I have to suck it up to get the job done, and trust me, I had the same mentality. But is your health not that important though? Will the world burn down while you rest?
Notice this, do you get better if you push through doing something as your sick body does everything it can to keep you functioning? Or do you get better quicker when you take a break and rest?
Another example for women and I experienced it this weekend. I was out and about with my very close friends walking around the strip in Las Vegas with high heels on. I love when they say, “Pain is beauty and beauty is pain”, which has become a mantra for women.
To me though, it’s a matter of perspective, we are all entitled to it. I chose not to suffer from that pain, I took my heels off, and walked barefoot. It may sound nasty but I got over it because guess what, I took care of my body first. I took care of my feet that were screaming from inside my shoes suffering in agony… well you get the picture if you’re a woman who wears high heels. And by doing so, I walked that strip like a little kid, exploring a familiar place with no care in the world, and boy that gave me happiness.
So, those are the few tips to show self-love gorgeous. I challenge you to do them, and share them in the comment below or send me a private message. Sometimes you have to Focus on YOU. Care for YOU, Love YOU. Because if you don’t start to make yourself happy, how would you expect others to make YOU happy? Happiness starts with YOU!
You must be saying, “Are you going nuts, Ernie? I don’t have it all yet and what are you talking about staying grounded I am on the ground and have not reached my goals?”
Okay, I am speaking metaphorically here dear.
I know that you are here to learn how to have a better mindset and/or how to gain confidence, so why did I say you have it all?
Because you do! You have all the things that you need right now at this moment. The roof over your head, the food on your table, the clothes you wear, the water you drink, a source of income to keep you sustainable. But the thing is, do you even recognize it?
I will confess that I did not recognize having these things before. I was so busy reaching for the next big thing; salary increase, a job promotion, a business to build, that I did not stop and recognize or even acknowledge how far I have become. What level in life I have reached?
I became impatient, short-tempered and most of all, anxious!
I was living in the past and having anxiety about the future. Not realizing that I am missing the most important moment, which is now.
So, when I say staying grounded, I meant living in the… “now”.
Now, you have clarity of what I meant, I will ask the same question, how do you stay grounded while having it all?
How did I do it?
I joined a program called the HerhigherSelf program coordinated by my mentor and became a very good friend Shari Angelina. I did not know what to expect from her program, but I wanted to find peace in myself and calm the chaos in my mind, and I was surprised with how easy it was.
Here are my takeaways from her program that helps me stay grounded:
1. Journal
Whether it is good, bad, or ugly- write it down. Write down what happened to you that day, what did you do, what did you feel, who you were with. Express yourself, surrender and voice your truth. It is your moment with yourself, your way to release after all the commotion, after all the noise, and after all the busyness. That moment is yours and yours only.
2. Gratitude
Expressing gratitude was a big realization of how abundant I was even though I have not reached my desired goals. I started with having a separate notebook and every morning I would write all the things that I was grateful for.
I am grateful for another day to be alive. I am grateful for the roof over my head and keeps me sheltered.
I am grateful for the sun shining providing light in the sky.
I am grateful for my health and for my family’s health.
I am grateful for my family.
These are a few examples, and over time, I learned to express them in a chant in the morning the moment I open my eyes and stretch my body.
Yes, I may not where I wanted to be then, but I know what I have, and it is all I need.
3. Meditation
Now, what? Meditation? That’s boring! You may say! I am not going to lie, how can with a chaotic mind sit down and meditate, her own mind racing will eat her alive. Yes, bizarre right? That is how my mind used to work. But staying grounded means stopping, reflecting and meditating.
Also, I did not see meditation fitting for me because whenever I attempted to do it, I was thinking about food. Yes, food!
It is not until I learned about guided meditation which was introduced to me by the well-known Human Optimizer Adrian Z. Wesley. His guided meditation helped me focused and the delta wave music in the background helped me calm down. It worked wonders as they say. And I’ve used it ever since especially on days when overwhelmed and stressed out.
4. Sit with yourself
Yes, gorgeous, you read it right, sitting with yourself is another way to stay grounded. How? I thought you’ve never asked. One activity that stuck with me after completing the HerhigherSelf program was to sit with myself. In the program, Shari instructed us to focus on this activity as a form of self-love, I will dive into this in the future. I had to schedule a day, 24 hours, to do nothing but to spend time with myself. Technically, a day off from everything; no movies, no music, no cellphone, no driving, no exercising, no people around me, just time with me, myself, and I.
Did it drive me crazy? Surprisingly not! I realized that I was too busy spending my time with other activities, other people but for myself. I liked hanging out with myself. I journaled that day, I had a precooked meal ready, so I don’t take time away from myself. I happened to take three naps, yes, I know, crazy.
But these are the things that we don’t do, not realizing that our company is important too. Checking in with yourself, asking yourself how you are feeling, feeling, embracing the moment, embracing the time means embracing you!
You must be saying, “Are you going nuts, Ernie? I don’t have it all yet and what are you talking about staying grounded I am on the ground and have not reached my goals?”