Confidently You

Tag: Mindset matters

  • The Untold Secret to Confidence- Anniversary Special!

    The Untold Secret to Confidence- Anniversary Special!

    Happy Anniversary Gorgeous! Our anniversary blog post is about “The Untold Secret to Confidence”.

    Wow! Can you imagine, it has been a year since I launched this website? And a lot has happened since then. And since you have been following me for quite some time, you have caught some of those events.

    I wanted to take this moment to express my gratitude. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for supporting me. And thank you for taking the time to read my blogs. My wish is that you have gained a token or two from these and have applied it to yourself.

    Now, let’s go back to our favorite topic, “Confidence”. I know I share about confidence a lot on this website. But last year, I had the ultimate realization about confidence. And I wanted to share that information with you. As you already know from our very first blog post, “5 Little known steps to become confident in yourself”. I shared that confidence is a skill. Since it is a skill, It is something that we can always learn and improve.

    Today, I wanted to share the untold secrets about confidence. It’s sad to know that a lot of people seek confidence. Some lack confidence. I know, because I didn’t have confidence in myself before. I had to work hard to gain it. And I know, I am still working on improving my confidence to the level that I need it to be.

    Now, going back to the secrets of “confidence”. It’s fairly easy really. But challenging for a lot of people.

    Untold secrets to “Unconfidence”

    1. Courage is where it starts
    2. It takes familiarity
    3. Repetition is key

    Courage is where it starts

    Courage is the first secret to confidence. You can be scared while having the courage to try. Having the courage to take action. Trust me, it’s scary most of the time. But courage is what I use to get to the next level of my journey. Uncertainty is scary. But so is winning. Regardless, we will feel uneasiness. At the end of the day though, it’s the actions that you have taken that matter.

    I’m not saying it will be easy. Because everything worthwhile will not be easy. Staying where you are is not easy either. So, I challenge you today to answer this question: “What action will you take today to get you closer to where you want to be?” It doesn’t matter if it’s small. I just need you to take the courage to try.

    It takes familiarity

    Do you know the reason why we don’t have confidence in ourselves about something? Or confidence about doing something? Because we just haven’t done it before. Another reason is that we haven’t done it long enough.

    In order to have confidence in something, you have to be familiar with it. For example, your confidence level from your first day at your new job is way different from being in the same job for a year. That is because you have become familiar. So easy right? This is why I have this as an untold secret about “confidence”.

    And how do we get familiar with it? We do it over and over again.

    Repetition is key

    Again, we do it over and over again. But there’s a secret to repetition. It’s not just repeating it over and over again. It is doing, analyzing, reflecting, and then repeating. First is taking action. Analyze the action you have taken. Reflect on what went wrong or what went right. Then repeat with the knowledge that you have gained from your reflection.

    These are the untold secrets to confidence. Very easy right? I challenge you to apply this today and share the impact it has done on you. And if you have found value in this blog post, please share it with others. It’s the only way we can spread knowledge.

    As always… be:

    Bold

    Radiant

    Confidently You!

  • 4 Easy Questions to ask yourself in goal setting

    4 Easy Questions to ask yourself in goal setting

    Today, I wanted to talk about “4 easy questions to ask yourself in goal setting”.

    We are halfway through the first month of the year. I am sure you have set your goals either at the beginning of January or maybe the end of December. Halfway through the first month is when the determination slowly dies down. I have observed this myself. And to be honest, I have fallen off of what I set for myself to do before.

    I will be honest, goal setting is easy, but it is starting and keeping up with it that is a challenge. And if you are experiencing it, it is okay. It happens to all of us.

    But what I have learned is you have to ask yourself 4 questions when setting your goals. These 4 questions had helped me tremendously to take the path that I want. And focus on it.

    I learned these questions from reading the book, “Developing the Leader within you 2.0” by Dr. John Maxwell. Dr. John Maxwell shared these questions in the book. The questions were a response to a question asked by the author Danny Cox to a graduate student who became a successful entrepreneur, not just once but twice!

    What do I really want?

    When it’s time to set goals, you must ask yourself, “What do ‘I’ really want?”. Notice the letter ‘I”? That means, what “YOU” want. Not what your parents want. Not your partner. Nor your friends. It is what you want.

    Why? Because working towards what “YOU” want leads to your happiness. It will give you a sense of fulfillment. And the thought of ‘you are doing it for ‘you’ will give you that ease that whatever adversity comes your way is bearable.

    What will it cost?

    I love this question when goal setting. Why? Because this removes the “BS” and tells what I am going to face. I know that something has to give. There will be a cost. Cost doesn’t always mean money. Though that is a part of it. Cost also means time. Effort. Hard work. Sweat. Tears. Late nights. Early mornings. Long hours. Forgetting where you put your lunch. (This is me).

    Knowing that achieving your goals will require work makes it easier to face them.

    Am I willing to pay the price?

    Now, knowing the amount of work is one thing. This question confirms if you have the “Do whatever it takes” mindset as Gary Vee says. Are you willing to pay the price for the set goals you made for yourself?

    Meaning are you willing to put in the work, every day and every night? Are you willing to remove watching TV from your routine and read books instead?

    Are you willing to cut down on sugar in your diet to reach the weight you wanted to lose?

    These are examples of the price that you may have to pay, depending on what journey you plan to reach. So, again, “Are you willing to pay the price?

    If your answer is yes, then ask the next question.

    When should I start paying the price?

    When should you start paying the price to reach your set goals?

    I thought you’d never ask. The answer is NOW.

    Not later. Nor tomorrow. Not next week. Or even wait for next month. Start Now.

    Why? According to the Law of Diminishing intent by Dr. John Maxwell. Our hunger, motivation, or inspiration into starting anything will diminish if we don’t take action toward it right away.

    Now, I ask these questions at the very beginning of my goal setting, but in times when I have no motivation. I don’t feel like doing what I am supposed to do. Guess what?

    I ask these questions to myself again. Why? Because it reminds me of the set goals I have for myself. What it takes to get the results that I aim for. My commitment to setting the goal. Last but not the least, when should I take action to achieve those goals.

    I challenge you to ask yourself these 4 questions. Whether you’re starting your goal-setting journey. Or somewhere in the middle and slowly falling into the cracks. Like I’ve said before, we can bend. We can rest. Even take a break, but we can NEVER. GIVE. UP.

  • At Last, The Secret To “Power of Words” Revealed

    At Last, The Secret To “Power of Words” Revealed

    At last, The secret to “power of words” revealed! Yes! Your words are very powerful and with everything that I am seeing and hearing right now. Even with myself. I wanted to give this information to give you guidance on how to use your words to your advantage.

    A few months back, a good friend of mine Eric Douglas, recommended for me to read the book, “What to say when you talk to yourself”. by Shad Helmstetter PhD. Now, I highly recommend reading it.

    The title itself says it all. And it’s quite practical.

    Do you ever stop and analyze how you talk to yourself?

    And no! I did not mean talking to yourself like you’re crazy.

    It’s far from that. I know that we do tend to talk to ourselves. Plenty of time even.

    But just out of curiosity, do you stop and see how your conversations with yourself make you feel?

    If the answer is no. It’s okay. That is what this blog post is for.

    I learned a long time ago that your words can either empower you or weaken you.

    So, In this blog post, I wanted to share the secret to the “Power of words”.

    Secret to the Power of Words

    • Positive self talk
    • One “word” strategy
    • Affirmations

    Positive Self-talk

    What we “say” about ourselves, we tend to believe. What we believe, we tend to act. What we act, we tend to become

    Dr. John Maxwell

    One of the forms of self-love that I have learned is positive self-talk. And I can guarantee with you right now that this is not something that you practice all the time.

    How so? I’m glad you asked. That is because it is so easy to practice negative self-talk. It’s easy enough that we do it unconsciously.

    When you’re given a compliment, “You look good!” Sometimes you’ll respond, “Ugh, I look so ugly!”

    When you forgot to do something. Or when you made a mistake. Your first reaction is, “I’m so stupid.”

    You look in the mirror, and the first you say, “I am so fat”.

    How do these comments to yourself make you feel?

    And what’s funny is, we get so upset when other people call us ugly. When they call us stupid. We get so furious when they call us fat. When in all reality, we are the bully.

    Think about that for a second.

    So, I challenge you. For the next 21 days, bring a small notebook and a pen with you. And every time, you say something negative about yourself. At night, shift that to a positive.

    When you call yourself dumb. Change that to, “I am smart”.

    At times when you feel like saying, “Why me?”. Say, “This is preparing me for something bigger!”

    And instead of saying, “I am not enough”. I am the first to tell you, “You are more than enough.”

    I wanted to add this, at times you will ask yourself, “what if it doesn’t work?”.

    See how easy it is to focus on the negative? But, what if you ask, “what if it does work?”. Doesn’t that empower you? It gives you that jolt of confidence?

    Go ahead gorgeous, practice that. Feel the change. And remember, the power of words in shaping your life.

    One “word” strategy

    This secret has been a big help for me. You might have read or heard me say this. In December of 2020, my online best friend, Katie and I made a pack that in 2021 we will live by the word “Uncomfortable”. And boy, we did get uncomfortable throughout the whole year.

    And to be honest, up to this year. I don’t remember how we picked a word. It was in a middle of a conversation and we were preparing for the new year.

    I didn’t even know that living a whole year around one word was a strategy. Until I read it in the 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth book by Dr. John Maxwell.

    In that book, Dr. John Maxwell explained that focusing on one word, helps a person to stay intentional. And I do agree.

    It’s a powerful secret because based on my experience, it helped me stay on track. It’s so simple that I can easily remember it.

    2021 was very uncomfortable for me because of the following:

    • I asked for help by hiring a coach
    • I surrendered my belief in the power of manifestation
    • I found out my life’s purpose (I’m sure you know this by now)
    • I found out about the John Maxwell team and immersed myself in learning

    Good things happen when you focus on one thing. And in this case, focus on “One word”.

    I would like to challenge you with this, think of a word that you describes you. What would that be?

    Power of words – Affirmations

    Ernie, affirmations doesn’t work.

    Yes, I have heard this before. I’m going to let you in on a secret. I thought of the same thing. My bullsh*t radar keeps coming on every time I wrote an affirmation.

    I learned about affirmations 4 years ago. We were asked to write gratitude and affirmations every day. The gratitude part was fun. It helped me appreciate all the things around me.

    But when it’s time to write my affirmations. I hated it. That feeling like I was lying to myself.

    I am rich. Money is flowing in my life. I have all the confidence in the world.

    As I write those words, my mind was screaming, BS, BS, BS.

    It’s not until I learned that affirmations doesn’t work when done incorrectly.

    Affirmations only work when the affirmation applies to your current situation and if you believe.

    Say, you wanted to start a business. The affirmation that you were writing was, I have a successful business. Yet, you are not making any money and barely knew what to do.

    I learned that if you shift it with an affirmation that says, “I am blessed that I get to start my own business.” “I am working on achieving success through my business.” It applies to you. And it’s very empowering. Right?

    Instead of saying, “I am rich”. Say, “I love money and money loves me.”

    You get the gist. Affirmations work if it’s in the present and if you believe in it.

    There you have it gorgeous, the secrets to the power of your words. Again, words can either empower you or weaken you. Using those three secrets can definitely empower you and change how you face your day to day journey.

    I will tell you now though that it will not happen overnight. Don’t give up. Keep at it. And it will eventually come naturally.

    Let me know your thoughts on the comment below and if you found value in this blog post, share it with your friends. Let’s spread awareness to positivity.

    Yours truly,

    Ernie

  • You are in control of your life and here’s why

    You are in control of your life and here’s why

    Let me repeat that again, “You are in control of your life”!

    I love what Bill Gates said,

    If you are born poor, it’s not your fault. But if you die poor, it’s your mistake

    Bill Gates

    Now, this quote will not apply to everyone. And not everyone will understand the meaning of it. I know, because I did not understand it at first.

    This quote to me does not only talk about money but it is more about success.

    What does success mean to you? You’re the only person who can answer that.

    Success to me is living a life of freedom while making an impact on others.

    You’re probably sitting there and saying, “Ernie, it’s easier said than done.” I agree!

    But still, “You have control of your life”, why?

    Reasons why you have control of your life

    1. You always have a choice to have control of your life
    2. You have the power to make a change
    3. You can work towards that change
    4. You have what it takes to take control of your life

    You always have a choice to have control of your life

    I know there are situations in which having a choice to have control of your life is out of reach. There are people from third-world countries who have no access to education. Some people may have no access to money. Or even some who have no idea where or how to get started.

    But guess what, remember the proverb, “If there’s a will, there’s a way”? It is true.

    And to be honest, most people who succeed are the ones who came from rock bottom. This proves that it does not matter where you come from. What matters is, where you want to go and how bad you wanted to get there.

    I challenge you to look at the people you admire; an actor/actress, a politician, an author, a mentor. All of them did not get to where they wanted to be until they made a choice to take control of their life.

    You have the power to make a change

    You cannot change your destination overnight, bu you can change your direction overnight

    Jim Rohn

    As Jim Rohn expressed, “You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.” After making a choice to take control of your life, change has to come next.

    You can make a change, it is always possible. Also, to let you in on a secret, change does not have to happen overnight but you can decide to make a change now. At this moment. As you read this blog post. Now, what that change will be is up to you.

    You can work toward that change

    You can work toward the change you wanted to take control of your life.

    Noticed that I said, “You” because no one else will do it for it. Once you made a decision to take control of your life. Then started making the change. You are responsible to continue working toward that change.

    Say, your health as an example. You wanted to have a body that you will be comfortable and confident in. A body that is healthy A body that you will love.

    The first step is making a choice to have a healthy body and that is an example of taking control of your life. Then after the choice comes the change. Reading, planning, and testing what you’ve learned about how to have a healthy body. Then putting in the work; exercising, eating healthy, drinking water, etc.

    See what it involves? It’s all you! You have to do the work.

    You have what it takes to take control of your life

    If you still don’t know that you have what it takes to this date after reading my blog post, then let me enlighten you further.

    Life is worth living, you just have the courage to live it!

    Ernelite Dacumos

    I used that quote in my previous blog post, “You are what you are meant to be”. And there I explained that you are what you are meant to be, you just have to find out who that is. Feel free to read it.

    So, if you are already what you are meant to be. That means, you already have what it takes to reach whatever it is that you desire. You need to turn that desire into a goal though. Then start working towards it.

    Now, I am not saying it will be easy peasy. I am saying that you are capable. That you have the power. I am showing you that you have what it takes to take control of your life.

    If those four things are not enough, then let me leave you with this…

    I was so amazed when I learned about The Law of Mirror from The book, “The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth” by John Maxwell.

    At the heading of that chapter, he stated, “You must see value in yourself to add value to yourself”. This means you have to see that you are worth reaching whatever it is that you desire. In order for you to start working towards that desire.

    It all starts with you! It’s a matter of perspective. If you think that you are not in control of your life and rely on others to take control of it for you. Then sadly, it is true.

    But if you believe that you are in control because you do. Then I promise you. Everything that you will do from this moment on, will reflect that belief.

    Again, you don’t need to look somewhere else as I have explained in my blog posts, You are the Strategy!

    I am choosing that this post enlightens and motivates you that you are always in control of your life. You will have struggles, problems, and challenges that are out of your control. But you are in control of how you will stand up and face them.