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It’s all about the “Present”
“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.”
Bill Keane

Have you ever lived in the moment?

I wanted to take this opportunity to highlight this word, and this blog post is all about the “present.”

You are probably asking, what do you mean Ernie?

I love the quote by Bill Keane, “yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God which is why we call it the present.” But do we live it?

We all have a tendency to think of the past. I am sure you have as I do too. If not the past, we worry about the future. We worry about things that haven’t even happened yet. So when do we live today? When do we live in the “now”?

Today, I wanted to share with you why living should be in the now.

It’s all about the present

Living in the past will not make you happy

Worrying about the future will not help you

Living in the present will propel you

Living in the past will not make you happy

The past is where we will find our memories. Memories of happiness. Memories of sadness. Sorrows. Struggles. Pains. The list just goes on. But most of all, the past is where most of our regrets start.

It is from past experiences. Mistakes. And decisions that we regret things.

Regret in a relationship with a partner thinking that you could have done better.

Regret in mistakes thinking that you could have been more honest. Or decisions, where you wish you could have listened to your gut or your emotions and chosen differently.

A few years back, I was always in my head. Thinking about the past. The mistakes I have done. The relationships I’ve been on. And the path that I have taken. I would always play the scenarios in my head and think of ways where I could have done it differently. Then I would go on this downward spiral. Beat me up. And even lose sleep. It was not healthy.

I eventually got tired of feeling this way and seek for help. I learned how to deal with my own thoughts. Which I now use when I go back to my old ways. I shared it in my blog post, “Quick ways to handle the inner voice in your head”. I recommend you read it and apply.

So gorgeous, stop living in the past. Yes, reminisce about it, but don’t live in it. Take the lessons you have learned with you and live with the thought that you did what you could with what you had.

Worrying about the future will not help you

Yup, worrying about something that hasn’t happened is a waste of energy. First, of all, tomorrow is never promised. Things can happen between now and the future. And there are always variables and curve balls that can change it. Which are things you can’t control.

Steve Harvey said, “If God showed you what you need to go through, you would have never gone through them.” And that is the truth. It is in the journey that we learn how capable we are.

Worrying period will not help you too. We all have a tendency to worry about a lot of things. This is because of a certain fear that we feel. But according to the mindset mentor Rob Dial Jr, 85% of your fear never comes true, and only 3% out of a hundred can happen or may happen. See the odds? Yet we waste so much energy thinking about it.

Living in the present will propel you

It definitely will, why?
1. Because you have control over what you can do today.
2. You can think of the situation and take action right away.
3. Your actions today will determine your future
See gorgeous, living in the now. Being more focused. And being mindful is very important. We cannot react to something that had already happened. And we can’t make decisions about something that has not happened. It is in the present where you can take action. It is in the present where you can make a decision. And now is the time to choose to be happy.

Please share this blog post if you find it valuable. It’s the only way we can spread knowledge.
March 27, 2023
How to handle every “defeat” with ease
Have you ever had that burning desire to do something and then do it? But fallen flat because you didn’t get the outcome that you wanted? If you answer yes, I wanted to share this blog post, “How to handle every ‘defeat’ with ease.

You’re probably thinking, handling defeat itself is hard enough, then I added handling it ‘with ease’. Bold statement right?

Anyway, this blog post is triggered by my recent journey of joining the Toastmasters International Speech Contest. I joined to test my speaking skills and to continuously grow. I am sharing this with you simply because as I mentioned, this blog post is to share my journey. So, I will continue to do so!

Since it is International, we have to go through the process of elimination. From the club to the area, to the district, and the list goes on.

I was able to move on from the club to the area competition with high hopes that I would be competing in the district competition. I did win third place but not enough to move on to the next level. Now, has this affected me? Yes!

Are you wondering how I’m dealing with it? Read below.

How to handle every “defeat” with ease
1. Let the emotion go
2. Reflect on the emotion
3. Reflect on the incident
4. Find ways to improve
Let the emotion go

Sometimes I just need to release my emotions to launch myself to take more actions
– Ernie

Handling defeat is hard. Not getting the result that you wanted is painful. It makes you question yourself. These emotions or feelings are normal. I will not say, you shouldn’t feel that way, because despite the mindset shift that I have gone through, I still feel disappointed. Pain. Sadness even. It’s what makes us human. If someone tells you to suck it up and move on, please get away from that person. Or don’t listen to him or her.

This is why the first step in handling defeat is letting the emotions go. Not to tell it to go away. Or sucking it up. But to let it go like crying it out if you feel called to.

Years ago, I used to handle defeat by staying in my room for one night. With a bottle of wine A couple of snacks and sad music. There, I will pour my heart out. And it worked. With a little bit of a headache the next day. But it worked.

I was so happy when John Maxwell, my mentor advised us of a similar rule that he has. The 24-hour rule, He says, despite all the personal growth, we will still have bad days We will still have days where we feel defeated. So, he shared the 24-hour rule. Giving yourself 24 hours to be a mess. Giving yourself space to feel the defeat. The pain. Disappointment. Sadness. Anger even. Let it out.

It’s okay to do this. Again, it’s what makes us human. It is much better to welcome that emotion and release instead of staying in it. Bottling it up. Going on this downward spiral and feeling sorry for yourself.

Please give yourself permission to feel defeated. It’s the only way you will be able to move on in a healthy way.

Reflect on the emotion

Now, the first step in handling defeat is letting the emotions go. And I shared about the 24-hour rule by John Maxwell. But if you’re saying that 24 hours may not be enough. Well, I got you covered.

Read my previous blog post, “Quick Ways to Handle the Inner Voice in your head”. All the things that will be in your mind will come from that inner voice. The doubts. Blame. Frustration. Again, this is normal. It is okay to go through it, but it’s not okay to stay feeling defeated.

In that blog post, I wrote 4 questions to ask yourself when the inner voice is taking over.
1. Ask yourself “what does it make me feel?
2. Do I want to continue feeling this way?
3. What can I do to stop feeling this way?
4. When can I start doing something about it?
These questions carried me through my days of defeat, regardless of their intensity. So, I challenge you to utilize it.

Reflect on the incident

Yes, you have to re-live the memory of what happened again. Not to torture you. But for you to see what truly happened.

It’s important to take care of the emotions first. Then go back to what happened. Doing so will increase the possibility that you are more logical and will be able to analyze the situation logically.

Ask these questions:
- What went right?
- What went wrong?
- What could have been done differently?
- How can you improve next time?
Yes, there will be a next time gorgeous because giving up is not an option.

Find ways to improve

Again, personal growth is a journey. There is no finish line. I love this idea because there is no capitation to what we can achieve. No limit to what we can learn.

There you go, these are the ways how to handle defeat with ease. Yes, with ease. What makes it easy is that you allow yourself to be vulnerable. Which then helps you to launch yourself to take more actions moving forward.

Please share this blog post with whomever you think may find value in it. It’s the only way we can spread knowledge.
March 13, 2023
Quick ways to handle the “Inner Voice” in your head
Last night I had to opportunity to watch three amazing women speak at The Rising Stars Speaker Series. It is a local event that happens every couple of months and they bring speakers to speak at the event. One of the speakers, Keerthi Kathi, spoke about the inner voice which motivated me to write this blog post. “Quick ways to handle the “Inner Voice in your head.

What is an Inner Voice?

The conversation that you have with yourself is the most important conversation that you will have all day
– John Maxwell

Yes, you are probably asking, “what is an inner voice?” An inner voice is also known as the internal dialogue that you have within yourself. These are voices that whisper when you are about to leave your comfort zone. Most of the time, it questions you or makes decisions for you.

In my personal development journey, I have learned that inner voices are hardwired in us from our childhood experiences. To some extent, it’s from our childhood traumas.

Are inner voices bad? If you asked me 5 years ago, I would say, yes! But having the experience and knowledge that I have now. It’s quite the contrary.

How? Well, an inner voice is designed to protect you from experiencing the same pain. Or having the same reaction to a similar situation that happened in the past. See, it has good intentions. But the downside is, it can prevent you from taking the next step.

Remember my blog post, “Reasons why Personal Growth has to start within?” If not, click the hyperlink. Personal growth has to start within to battle or to handle our fears and limiting beliefs. And this one of them.

How do I use my inner voice nowadays? I use it as a guide to my growth. So let’s dive in, on how you can handle it too.

Simple ways how to Handle Inner Voice in your head
1. Listen to it
2. Ask yourself “what does it make me feel?”
3. Do I want to continue feeling this way?
4. What can I do to stop feeling this way?
5. When can I start doing something about it?
Listen to it

Keerthi’s speech was titled “Congratulations, You are not good enough!” This speech was structured so well that gave the negative phrase a positive meaning.

“You are not good enough”, is an example of an inner voice. When approached with something that is unusual or new for us. This inner voice usually comes up. In her story, she shared that she had this inner voice growing up. But she was able to push it to the side so that it became dormant. Until she was faced with a new task… being a mother. Being a mother is definitely hard, but a very fulfilling role. I related to her story because I too am a mother. And I didn’t know what I was doing.

I had so many inner voices about it. “You are a bad mom!”, “You think you are ready for this?” The list goes on. How I handled it? Do the best I can.

How Keerthi is handling hers right now is, she decided to listen to it. Instead of pushing it under a rug. She decided to face it.

Ask yourself “what does it make me feel?”

Here’s the coaching aspect of it. Ask yourself, “what does it make me feel?” Tough right? Bare with me though. This is necessary. For years we are told that if you get scared or faced with fear. Like an inner voice questioning you. To suck it up and move on. Wear your big girl or big boy pants and just move on. And I am here to tell you, that is the wrong way. Entertain it. Feel it. Accept it.

“What does it make you feel?” Well mostly, crappy. It makes you feel unmotivated. Weak. Helpless even.

Do I want to continue feeling this way? (Inner voice can cripple you)

Well, the answer to this next question is obvious, right? Of course not. We do not want to continue feeling unmotivated. Helpless. Or stuck. As I said, your inner voice can cripple you. Or stop you from taking action right? This question is important. Do you want it to continue doing so? I hope your answer is, NO!

What can I do to stop feeling this way?

In Keerthi’s story, her inner voice saying, “You are not good enough”, she used the changing diaper situation. Apparently, she keeps failing to change her baby’s diaper without getting pee’d on. A friend of hers asked her a question that changed her mindset. The question was, “What do you do when you don’t know how to change the diaper?” So, simple right? But it’s again, that inner voice has the power to make the easy to the hardest thing in the world. So, she googled how to change diapers, and is now a pro at it.

Same thing with you gorgeous. When an inner voice comes around, ask yourself the questions I have given you so far. And this question is important, “What can I do to stop feeling this way?” This calls for you to take action. Do your own research. Practice. Ask for help. Do something that can help you improve and learn more about the task at hand. Remember, it is all about growing and improving yourself.

When can I start doing something about it?

The answer is now! It is not later. It is not tomorrow. Next month or whenever. It is now!

“The longer you wait to do something you should do now, the greater the odds that you will never actually do it.”
– Jim Rohn

As Jim Rohn explained the Law of Diminishing Intent, “The longer you wait to do something you should do now, the greater the odds that you will never actually do it.”

Again, all results will come when backed up by action. So, once you’ve learned what needs to be done to overcome your inner voice. Do not wait. Do it now.

There you have it gorgeous! Simple ways to handle your inner voice. Please share this if you found value in this blog post. I would love other people to benefit from it as well. And as always, I would love to hear how this blog post had made an impact on your life. Feel like to shoot me a message and share.
February 27, 2023
6 Choices to put yourself in a better environment
Today, I wanted to share the 6 Choices to put yourself in a better environment. This is from the book by John Maxwell, “The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth”.

These 6 Choices were from the chapter “The Law of Environment”. I recommend buying the book if you have not done so. The law says “Growth thrives in conducive surroundings”. Meaning, we will only grow if we involve ourselves in a place that can make an outcome likely possible.

I love this quote from Jim Rohn, “If you don’t like how things are, change it! You’re not a tree!

Sometimes it’s easy to just complain and say that you’re not successful because of your family. Because of the government. Or because of any other reasons that may come up.

I am here to tell you that You have the power to change your current situation right now. You have the capability to be in a better situation. And you can change. The only question is, “Are you willing to change your environment?”

My Story

Three years ago I was faced with this crossroads. I was not happy where I was. And I was becoming a person I know I do not want to be. I was overworked. Stressed. Anxious. And we can safely say that I did not have a life.

So, I made a decision to leave and start over. It was tough but I decided to leave where I was. Started a new job. Pursue what I want and not hold back. I literally changed my surroundings. Now, I am happy. I feel fulfilled. With the thought that I am only getting started. So, that is my short story, let me help you make yours.

Again, if you are not happy where you are today, it can change. But only you can change it. Let’s tackle the 6 choices to put yourself in a better environment.

6 Choices to put yourself in a better environment.

1. Assess your current environment

The first step is always awareness and acceptance in decision-making. Assess where you are and maybe ask yourself the following questions:

a. Am I happy where I am?

b. Do I like what I am currently doing?

c. Do I feel like I can do more?

d. Is this how I see myself?

This will need a little bit of reflection and honesty with yourself. Now, once you have assessed your environment then the acceptance has to follow. You are where you are, yes. And that is okay. Then it’s time to do something about it.
2. Change yourself and your environment

Don’t take this the wrong way. But to improve your surroundings, you have to improve as well. Your mindset has to improve. Your outlook in life. Even your decision-making. Why? So, you don’t end up in the same environment that you were trying to get away from.

Changing yourself does not mean having a different personality. It doesn’t mean having a different appearance. It means improving who you are now to match the environment that you want to be a part of.

A perfect way to start is by reading my blog post, “Simple ways to declutter your life and your mind.”

3. Change who you spend your time with

In my blog post, “Knowing the people you surround yourself with – Self-acceptance rule”. I shared the three types of people to spend less time with. In my journey, I learned that there are two types of people. The battery chargers and the battery drainers.

I challenge you to read my blog post and assess the people you surround yourself with. Depending on your observation, I recommend spending ‘less’ time with the battery drainers in your life. I had to make this decision a few years back. Sadly, some relationships were broken because some people will not understand where you’re coming from. But the people who are willing to grow with you. Willing to support you. And the genuine people who want to be a part of your life will stay.

4. Challenge yourself in your new environment

Yes, challenge yourself! You’re probably asking how? Well, by doing the things that you don’t normally do. Why? So, that you’ll continuously grow and improve.

One of the things that I had to do in my new environment was asked for help. And share the same journey with someone. I chose to have an accountability partner. Because of this, I stayed consistent in growing myself and being a genuine part of the surrounding that I am building for myself.

5. Focus on the moment

Focus on the moment! This is something I did not do before. I will not blame you for thinking about the past and worrying about the future. That is how we were conditioned.

But please use this blog post to help you realize that in order to grow and create the environment that you want. you have to be present. Focus on the moment.

You cannot change your past. Learn from it. You cannot predict the future, so stop worrying about it. The only thing that you can control is ‘now’.

I would like for you to stop and ask yourself these questions?

1. Am I fully present right now?

2. Am I thinking about something else while reading this blog post?

6. Move forward despite criticism

Yes, you read that right, move forward despite criticism. If you have been reading my blog posts for a year now, you have learned that people around you can have a negative opinion of what you are doing. And guess what? It is O.K. You are creating a better environment for that reason too. Remember, their opinion is from their own beliefs. Their own mindset. And own type of thinking. This is completely different from yours. They do not have the same vision as you.

I love what Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” This quote is from the movie, “The Princess Diaries” by Anne Hathaway. I did not understand it then. Until I heard it again from the book, “The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth.”

There you have it again gorgeous! A jammed-pack value of knowledge. I challenge you to apply it today and share this blog post with people whom you think it will benefit from. I cannot wait to hear your thoughts.
February 13, 2023
The Untold Secret to Confidence- Anniversary Special!
Happy Anniversary Gorgeous! Our anniversary blog post is about “The Untold Secret to Confidence”.

Wow! Can you imagine, it has been a year since I launched this website? And a lot has happened since then. And since you have been following me for quite some time, you have caught some of those events.

I wanted to take this moment to express my gratitude. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for supporting me. And thank you for taking the time to read my blogs. My wish is that you have gained a token or two from these and have applied it to yourself.

Now, let’s go back to our favorite topic, “Confidence”. I know I share about confidence a lot on this website. But last year, I had the ultimate realization about confidence. And I wanted to share that information with you. As you already know from our very first blog post, “5 Little known steps to become confident in yourself”. I shared that confidence is a skill. Since it is a skill, It is something that we can always learn and improve.

Today, I wanted to share the untold secrets about confidence. It’s sad to know that a lot of people seek confidence. Some lack confidence. I know, because I didn’t have confidence in myself before. I had to work hard to gain it. And I know, I am still working on improving my confidence to the level that I need it to be.

Now, going back to the secrets of “confidence”. It’s fairly easy really. But challenging for a lot of people.

Untold secrets to “Unconfidence”
1. Courage is where it starts
2. It takes familiarity
3. Repetition is key
Courage is where it starts

Courage is the first secret to confidence. You can be scared while having the courage to try. Having the courage to take action. Trust me, it’s scary most of the time. But courage is what I use to get to the next level of my journey. Uncertainty is scary. But so is winning. Regardless, we will feel uneasiness. At the end of the day though, it’s the actions that you have taken that matter.

I’m not saying it will be easy. Because everything worthwhile will not be easy. Staying where you are is not easy either. So, I challenge you today to answer this question: “What action will you take today to get you closer to where you want to be?” It doesn’t matter if it’s small. I just need you to take the courage to try.

It takes familiarity

Do you know the reason why we don’t have confidence in ourselves about something? Or confidence about doing something? Because we just haven’t done it before. Another reason is that we haven’t done it long enough.

In order to have confidence in something, you have to be familiar with it. For example, your confidence level from your first day at your new job is way different from being in the same job for a year. That is because you have become familiar. So easy right? This is why I have this as an untold secret about “confidence”.

And how do we get familiar with it? We do it over and over again.

Repetition is key

Again, we do it over and over again. But there’s a secret to repetition. It’s not just repeating it over and over again. It is doing, analyzing, reflecting, and then repeating. First is taking action. Analyze the action you have taken. Reflect on what went wrong or what went right. Then repeat with the knowledge that you have gained from your reflection.

These are the untold secrets to confidence. Very easy right? I challenge you to apply this today and share the impact it has done on you. And if you have found value in this blog post, please share it with others. It’s the only way we can spread knowledge.

As always… be:

Bold

Radiant

Confidently You!
January 30, 2023
4 Easy Questions to ask yourself in goal setting

Today, I wanted to talk about “4 easy questions to ask yourself in goal setting”.

We are halfway through the first month of the year. I am sure you have set your goals either at the beginning of January or maybe the end of December. Halfway through the first month is when the determination slowly dies down. I have observed this myself. And to be honest, I have fallen off of what I set for myself to do before.

I will be honest, goal setting is easy, but it is starting and keeping up with it that is a challenge. And if you are experiencing it, it is okay. It happens to all of us.

But what I have learned is you have to ask yourself 4 questions when setting your goals. These 4 questions had helped me tremendously to take the path that I want. And focus on it.

I learned these questions from reading the book, “Developing the Leader within you 2.0” by Dr. John Maxwell. Dr. John Maxwell shared these questions in the book. The questions were a response to a question asked by the author Danny Cox to a graduate student who became a successful entrepreneur, not just once but twice!

What do I really want?

When it’s time to set goals, you must ask yourself, “What do ‘I’ really want?”. Notice the letter ‘I”? That means, what “YOU” want. Not what your parents want. Not your partner. Nor your friends. It is what you want.

Why? Because working towards what “YOU” want leads to your happiness. It will give you a sense of fulfillment. And the thought of ‘you are doing it for ‘you’ will give you that ease that whatever adversity comes your way is bearable.

What will it cost?

I love this question when goal setting. Why? Because this removes the “BS” and tells what I am going to face. I know that something has to give. There will be a cost. Cost doesn’t always mean money. Though that is a part of it. Cost also means time. Effort. Hard work. Sweat. Tears. Late nights. Early mornings. Long hours. Forgetting where you put your lunch. (This is me).

Knowing that achieving your goals will require work makes it easier to face them.

Am I willing to pay the price?

Now, knowing the amount of work is one thing. This question confirms if you have the “Do whatever it takes” mindset as Gary Vee says. Are you willing to pay the price for the set goals you made for yourself?

Meaning are you willing to put in the work, every day and every night? Are you willing to remove watching TV from your routine and read books instead?

Are you willing to cut down on sugar in your diet to reach the weight you wanted to lose?

These are examples of the price that you may have to pay, depending on what journey you plan to reach. So, again, “Are you willing to pay the price?

If your answer is yes, then ask the next question.

When should I start paying the price?

When should you start paying the price to reach your set goals?

I thought you’d never ask. The answer is NOW.

Not later. Nor tomorrow. Not next week. Or even wait for next month. Start Now.

Why? According to the Law of Diminishing intent by Dr. John Maxwell. Our hunger, motivation, or inspiration into starting anything will diminish if we don’t take action toward it right away.

Now, I ask these questions at the very beginning of my goal setting, but in times when I have no motivation. I don’t feel like doing what I am supposed to do. Guess what?

I ask these questions to myself again. Why? Because it reminds me of the set goals I have for myself. What it takes to get the results that I aim for. My commitment to setting the goal. Last but not the least, when should I take action to achieve those goals.

I challenge you to ask yourself these 4 questions. Whether you’re starting your goal-setting journey. Or somewhere in the middle and slowly falling into the cracks. Like I’ve said before, we can bend. We can rest. Even take a break, but we can NEVER. GIVE. UP.

January 16, 2023
Practical ways to plan to achieve your goals for 2023
Happy New Year Gorgeous! What a year it has been! But I wanted to ask, were you able to achieve your goals in 2022? Or sadly, you did not. I will be completely honest with you, I did not meet my goals for 2022. I will not lie about that but that is because I was lost. And did not really know what to plan for the path that I wanted to take until almost halfway through the year already. But as soon as I learned the path I wanted to take, all wheels started turning in that direction.

But I am not here to bore you with everything that I have done in 2022. I am here because I know like myself, you promised yourself that 2023 will be better. May that be improving your health. Starting your own business. Learning a new language. Finishing a book. Anything that you want to change or improve, name it.

And like what I do each year, I give up and lose motivation for what I am doing. And you want to hear a secret? It’s normal! Yes, it is normal! It is so easy to quit. To turn off the lights and go. And wait for next year to come to start over. Or even think that once you get the motivation or inspiration then you will start again.

Well, I hate to break it to you, but if you are reading my blog post, I know you have bigger dreams than you can fathom. You have this burning desire to make something for yourself. And live a fulfilling life. I know this because I was in your shoes too. Which is why I built this blog for YOU.

I hate the thought that you may be having right now. Every time you have that moment of motivation to make a change you can’t help to feel like you’re starting over again. Always started with planning, yet didn’t have a chance to finish.

Can you relate to that? Maybe yes, or maybe no. Regardless, it’s okay to start over but what is not okay, is to give up. It’s not failing if you kept going. And to be honest, it is not starting over. If you use the teachings you have learned from the previous experience.

So, let’s start over. I would like to share my practical ways to plan to achieve your goals in 2023.

Practical ways to plan to achieve your goals in 2023
- Set your goal and be very specific
- Set a time frame for when will you achieve or complete the goal
- List down activities that you will need to do to get closer to your goal
- One of the ways to plan is to break it down into attainable daily activities
- Make it your non-negotiables
Set your goal and be very specific

One big mistake that I have made in the past is not setting a goal.

If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail.
-Benjamin Franklin

One of the ways to plan to achieve your goal is by setting it. If we are not setting a goal, there is nothing to achieve. If there is nothing to achieve then there is no direction. So, as Ben Franklin says, “if you fail to plan, you are planning to fail”.

Now, your goal has to be very specific. I did not know this before, but it made so much sense when you become more specific.

One story I heard was, a young man kept praying to win the lottery. And every time he plays the lottery, he wins a dollar or two. He then plays the lottery again. Praying to win. And once again, he would win a dollar or two. Until finally, he asked frustratedly while praying, “Lord, I pray to win the lottery, but I never win. Why is that?”

Suddenly, his Lord answered, “My son, I always let you win the lottery. The couple of dollars that you bring home is winning the lottery. How much is it that you wanted to win?”

I know, it’s a silly story but it makes sense. If you wish to win the lottery, yet with no set amount. Then winning a dollar sum is winning the lottery right?

It is the same as setting vague goals like; I wanted to lose weight, I wanted to be rich, I wanted to start reading again. Goals that we set yet we will not see achievement because it is not specific.

But if we change it to, “I wanted to lose 25 pounds”. Now that is specific and definitely attainable. Instead of saying, “I wanted to be rich”, say “I wanted to have a passive income of $50,000 a month”. That is specific right?

Set a time frame for when will you achieve or complete the goal

One of the great ways to plan is by setting a time frame for when you will achieve or complete your goal. This coincides with the first step. We have to be specific with setting the goal and again, specific on when to complete it.

I think you know the gist but I will still explain. Setting a time frame shows progress. And when you see the progress you are more motivated to take action. Let’s take the goal of losing 25 pounds. I wanted to lose 25 pounds… if you don’t put an end date, then most likely there is no sense of urgency. You would find yourself doing the work over and over. Or actually whenever you have time. Without a sense of urgency, then the effort will fade. This is why most people give up on their new year’s resolution by the end of January or mid-month of February.

So, gorgeous! Let’s set a time frame. One of my goals this year is to lose 15 pounds by March 31, 2023. See, specific and definitely with a sense of urgency. I would love for you to be my accountability partner if this is one of your goals this year too.

List down activities that you will need to do to get closer to your goal

Yes, one of the practical ways to plan your goals is to list down the things that you need to do to get closer to your goal. I mean this is obvious, right? But how often do we do it?

I would like to let you in on a secret. I am not a fan of writing but I do write a lot of things. Because there is something about writing things down on paper that makes it so official. And by doing so, you minimize the overwhelming feeling of getting things done that is in your mind. And another perk is, you will not forget about it when you write it down.

“Well, Ernie if I don’t know what those activities are, what do I write?” I thought you’d never ask. The answer is research dear. Find a person who had the same goal as you and figure out the actions they have taken to achieve it. And use that. Over time, you will apply your own actions as you dive into doing those things.

One of the ways to plan is to break it down into attainable daily activities

One reason why people quit early on in their journey is because of disappointment. On top of adversities of course. But let’s focus on disappointment. We have this notion that when you see progress in your journey toward your goal, it has to be big. It has to be a visible impact. And when we don’t see that impact. Or that big change. We get disappointed.

Let me enlighten you. Say, your goal is to lose weight. Now, you will be so excited and motivated to exercise every day. Going to the gym. Started running. Joined all the classes you can join. Meal prepping. Or some of you would not eat. And then after a week, you weigh yourself. The weighing scale shows that you lost one pound. Isn’t that disappointing? Let me add this, you will then tell yourself, “That doesn’t count, it’s just water weight.”

The message is, “You have to be practical in setting the daily activities for yourself. Make it so easy and small that you would not dread doing it.”

Here’s my example of breaking things down into bite-size when losing weight. In our example of losing 15 pounds in 3 months. Overwhelming right? It seems too big of a number for a short period of time. But let’s break it down. Divide 15 pounds for 3 months. The answer is 5. Meaning, in order to achieve my goal by March, I will need to lose 5 pounds a month. Still overwhelming? Well, there are 4 weeks in a month right? Divide 5 pounds by 4 weeks. The answer is 1.25 pounds. So, all I need to focus on is to lose 1.25 pounds every week and I will get closer to losing 15 pounds in three months. Now, does that sound doable?

Same thing with the activities. Break it down. Work on your upper body one day. Then focus on the lower body the next. Cut down on sweets. See the word, “Cut” down not “stop”? Cutting it down is less alarming for your brain to follow, instead of completely cutting something off. Somehow, when you tell yourself that you have to completely stop something, it gives it a major panic attack. Try it and see how you feel.

Make it your non-negotiables

Yes, make it your non-negotiables. Whatever activities you have listed on your plan and have broken down into bite-size pieces to achieve, make it non-negotiable. You don’t have to set a specific time when it needs to get done in your day, as long as it gets done before the end of your day.

In my blog post, “Simple ways to declutter your mind and your life”, I shared the “Power of 5”. Which is listing 5 things that you would do on a daily basis. You can apply that concept here. On the list of activities that you have written and said you need to do to get closer to your goal. Rank them and take the first top 5 activities from that list and make them your non-negotiables. Simple right?

There you have it gorgeous, “Practical ways to plan to achieve your goals for 2023”. I challenge you to apply them and encourage you to share the results with me on this post or even in a private message. Again, I would like to greet you a Happy New Year. I wish you prosperity, happiness, and great health this year and for years to come. Please share this blog post with others, it’s the only way we can spread the teachings.
January 2, 2023
My visit to the Philippines in November 2022

Hi gorgeous, I feel called to share my visit to the Philippines in November. I would like to share my experiences and the lessons that I have learned.

As you know, I was born and raised in the Philippines. You can say that it is my home country. Memories of my childhood up to my first year of college were in this country. But I am not here to talk about the past. I would like to talk about the “now”. I would have my visit to the Philippines all planned out throughout the duration of my visit. One of the things that we love to do is eat. And I always complain to my family that they do not cook for me when I’m home. Their response was, “You won’t sit still nor stay at home.” I guess it was my fault. So this time, I didn’t plan anything.

The surprise visit to the Philippines

My visit to the Philippines has always been a surprise. That was the goal at least, but somehow my mom knows that I will be coming home. My sister Rome and I planned to celebrate my brother’s birthday at a beach resort and the surprise is, I would show up.

It’s funny because it was my brother’s birthday celebration but they cooked all the food that “I” liked to eat. From pancit, to lumpia. To pork barbeque and many more. My mom was surprised but almost hit me because she couldn’t breathe. Mixed emotions got into her that she was having shortness of breath. So, this would probably be the last time that I would surprise my mom.

The days went by so fast. We watched the movie “Wakanda Forever” and freeze in the movie theatre since the AC was on blast. There were about 9 of us including my nephews. Of course, we had to stop at an arcade shop for them to play.

Outreach day

I had the opportunity to take part in an outreach program with my friend April Love. It’s her seventh outreach and it was my first. I would normally contribute and since I was in the United States, I was not able to participate. We were able to help 600 households with a bag of rice, canned goods, and noodles. She cooked pancit to feed 500 kids and gave away 500 candies. It was a great experience. To be honest, I was a bit emotional at the very beginning as we started to hand out the candies. I had to hold myself together to move past it. At that moment, I vowed to participate every time I visit the Philippines.

I did not plan much on this trip but I feel like it’s the most fulfilling. I connected more with my mom. We have moments full of laughter and shared food that we both love to eat. I listened to her more and made sure she was heard.

Five a.m. hike

We hiked up at five o’clock in the morning just to visit my mom’s property in Iram where most of the Aeta’s lived. It was up the mountain and was not an easy hike. But it was fun. The view uphill was priceless. The fresh air was refreshing. I’ve missed that simple life. We set up a mat under the tree for us to lie down and enjoy the beautiful trees and blue skies. It was nothing but laughter, jokes, and reminiscing our childhood memories.

Project “Sapin sa Paa”

I know my visit here in the Philippines is not over yet. My friends and I were able to donate 553 slippers to Iram Elementary school. Again, it was emotional for me, and had to hold myself together. Teacher Rosalie was shocked when we brought the slippers to the school. She thought she was dreaming. And that reaction was priceless. The principal made sure to say hi and expressed her gratitude as well.

Mini Highschool Reunion

I got to meet up with my third-year high school classmates. That was a great experience as well. It’s amazing to learn that despite all the changes we’ve come across over the years, we all agreed that there are things that haven’t changed. Our year together as classmates was the most memorable year of our high school days. We talked about the old days and their lives now. I am embarrassed to say that I was the first one to go home after a bottle of beer. Despite the short time though, it was a great catch-up.

My project before my visit in the Philippines

And lastly, before my visit here in the Philippines, I envisioned a day with the kids. The native Aeta Children who lived in the mountains. I wanted to share a little bit of Christmas day with them. So I put together a “Helping Hand” program as you may have seen. I asked for monetary donations to make this day possible and I was grateful to make it happen. On Saturday, December three, we hiked uphill to reach an Aeta community in Iram, Olongapo City.

There we shared snacks and drinks with them. Played some games. I have to say that I am out of touch with the type of music that kids listen to these days. We gave away loot bags with toys and some other items donated by family and friends. It was definitely a day of fun. The smile on their faces and ours were priceless. It’s a day I will definitely cherish. And because of this day, I am making a vow to continue helping others in need with the help of my friends and family.

My visit here in the Philippines confirms that I have a lot to be grateful for. The memories I had while living here. I may have forgotten a lot of them. But once I had met with the people who were a part of that memory, it brought the memory and the emotions back. The simple things in life that I experienced when I was young reminded me of my values.

Going back to my roots is a great way to stay grounded and stay fixated on the goals I have. Not just for myself but for my family as well. I would love to hear about your travel journey too. Please share your experience below.

December 5, 2022
How to improve your mindset with Gratitude…
Hello there gorgeous! In observance of the Thanksgiving celebration here in the United States, I would like to give light to the word “Gratitude”.

According to the article “How to Develop an Attitude of Gratitude” from the website Diversus health, an attitude of gratitude is…

means making the conscious habit of expressing appreciation on a regular basis for big and small things alike.

Again, making a “conscious” habit of expressing appreciation on a regular basis for big and small things. We are so used to feeling frustrated, angry, and irritated when things don’t go our way. And not seeing the upside in what happened. I was like this before. I would complain. Or I would get mad. Even felt like blaming someone when I don’t get what I want. Or didn’t get my way.

You’re probably thinking that this is too good to be true Ernie. Well, maybe so. But the thing is, our goal is to improve the mindset. And one way of doing so is shifting our focus from the negative to the positive. Expressing gratitude was one of those things that I learned to practice.

Again, this is not an overnight practice. It will take time as it did mine. But when I didn’t give up and practiced gratitude, I must say that it improved my mindset.

Now, how can improve your mindset with gratitude?
- – Practicing gratitude helps you focus on the positive things
- – You develop a can-do attitude
- – Practicing gratitude gives you a mindset anything happens for you, not to you
Practicing gratitude helps you focus on the positive things

It definitely does. Try it, I challenge you. For 21 days name at least five things that you are grateful for the moment, you wake up in the morning.

I have developed this habit the moment I wake up in the morning. the first thing I do is silently pray to my Lord and thank Him for:

Another beautiful day to thrive in

Comfortable bed to sleep in

A warm blanket to keep me cozy

Good health for me and my family

The roof over my head

The simplest things yet we overlook because of the big problems that we face. Go on, try in and let me know how you felt.

Practicing this helped me focus on the things that I should truly be grateful for. And in times when I have to face something that is uncomfortable for me, I focus on the positive things.

You develop a can-do attitude

Still not believing in the power of gratitude? Practicing gratitude helps you develop a can-do attitude. How? Because when you are intentionally grateful, you see the resources available around you. You see their worth and uses. You are able to see the things that you have done before and realize your capabilities.

I am grateful that despite being a shy introvert, I am able to motivate others through social media. I was not intentionally grateful I would have never realized my growth. And would have never seen other people’s potential.

Practicing gratitude gives you a mindset anything happens for you, not to you

Oh, this was huge for me, when I was focusing on the negative things, I often question why is it happening to me. Why do I have to go through such hardships? But after learning about gratitude. I soon then learned that I am going through things; hardships, problems, and trials because I have to grow from them. It is not happening to me. It is happening for me to learn, grow, and progress.

So, just those three alone are more than enough ways for how your mindset can be improved by practicing gratitude.

Now, this holiday season and onwards, I would like to challenge you to do it as well. You can write the things that you are grateful for. Whisper it even. Just do not let the day go by without being grateful. There are so many things in this world to be grateful for, you just have to look for them.

I am grateful to YOU for reading my blog post and for always supporting me. Don’t forget to shine your light and always be grateful!

Happy Thanksgiving!
November 21, 2022
Reasons why personal growth has to start within
Have you started your personal growth? If not let me start with personal growth has to start within. What do I mean by that? Personal growth is not accessible in school and is not made aware to everyone. As a result, I made it a mission to make it known on my own page.

What is Personal Growth?

Personal Growth is you growing yourself. It can be emotional, mental, or physical. Learning a different perspective to tackle day-to-day adversities. And learning to have a different outlook on life. Personal Growth will teach you to test your own limits and introduce you to your own capacity.

Now, that you have an idea of what personal growth is in my own definition. Let’s go back to reasons why personal growth has to start within.

In my own journey, I didn’t know that personal growth has to start within. I was doing the work. Learning new things but it’s just knowledge. Yet I found myself treating each task in my personal development journey as a chore. It’s not something that I loved. Not even close to liking it.

Why? Because I didn’t know the capacity of what I am learning. I wasn’t mindful of what was truly happening in the personal growth process. It almost felt like I was shooting bullets with no target.

It is not until I learned that it has to be intentional. Personal growth has to start within me. Let me explain why below.

Reasons why personal growth has to start within
- You have to know your reason for personal growth
You have to accept that you need personal growth
- You need to learn where personal growth is applied
You have to know your reason for personal growth

Again this is going back to being intentional. It has to start within you as to why you need personal growth.

In my previous blog post, “9 Unheard Ways to achieve greater personal growth”. I shared the first one as starting with awareness.

And that starts within you. The majority of the people in the world practice the definition of insanity.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”
Albert Einstein

My reason for diving into personal growth initially because I was tired of hiding. My insecurities always got the best of me. Knowing that I am capable of doing something but my limiting beliefs had always kept me on the sidelines. And I know that in order to change something. I need to start within and tell myself I need to change.

I challenge you to ask yourself, what is your reason to grow? Start within yourself and ask that question.

You have to accept that you need personal growth

Why? Because you may know within you that you need to grow. But there will be times when you will question it. Or second, guess it even. Personal growth starts within and it comes with accepting that it is needed. For a long time, I knew I needed to grow but I didn’t know that having to accept it is part of the process.

Full acceptance that I need personal growth gave me that commitment. That the things that I need to go through in order to grow are not just tasks. They are needed to help me grow. As a result, I saw progress. I retain the information. And my growth became apparent not just within me. But other people around me noticed it as well.

You need to learn where personal growth is applied

Yes, gorgeous. Start within. That is where personal growth is applied. All the things that you will learn will challenge you to become uncomfortable. And that is the whole point. But you cannot pick and choose where to apply personal growth if you’ve learned to have a better mindset, great. If you have learned how to gain confidence in talking with other people. And choosing not to use it. It is a disservice to yourself.

Personal growth is only effective if you have committed to learning and applying the knowledge.

One thing I have learned from John Maxwell was, “You have to be comfortably uncomfortable.” And when you do, the reward is indescribable.

So, there you have it, three reasons why personal growth has to start within. Please share this post and tag me if you found it valuable. It’s the only way we can spread knowledge.
November 7, 2022