Tag: self confidence

  • The Leader you aim to be is in YOU.

    The Leader you aim to be is in YOU.

    Hello, there gorgeous! Today, I wanted to share an outstanding achievement with you and also help you realize that the leader you aim to be is in you.

    I must say, I look forward to building these blog posts for you every time. I have my ‘deep focus’ playlist in the background, as I lean back and let my fingers type away.

    I am happy to announce that my co-host and I are launching our very first radio show through Voice America Business Channel. We named the radio show, The Leader’s Edge.

    To be honest with you, this next chapter of my life is just surreal for me. Because imagine all I wanted to do is become an International Motivational Teacher, and now here is a platform that can help me do that.

    The mission of our radio show is…

    We want to attract, motivate, inspire, and add value to aspiring leaders and/or seasoned leaders, who will in turn multiply value to others. We want to be a catalyst for the transformation of these leaders to change the world around them!”

    – The Leader’s Edge

    Now, you are probably saying, “Ernie, I am not a leader. I don’t have a leadership role at work.” This is where the teaching starts.

    According to my mentor, Dr. John C. Maxwell, “Leadership is influence. Nothing more, nothing less.”

    If you have influence, you are a leader. There are different types of leaders which is something that we will not talk about today. But to some it all up, if you are influencing someone, then you are a leader. That could be, influencing your family, your co-workers, and/or yourself.

    You see, the hardest person to lead is ‘yourself’ because you tend to make yourself last. Analyze this for me, I challenge you to assess your actions toward yourself. On days, that you want to do something but decided to stay home instead. Giving and helping others but when it comes to doing things for you, you turn away. This is because we are conditioned that taking care of ourselves first is selfish.

    I am here to tell you that it is not. And to be honest, leading starts with YOU. Just like what I had shared in my previous blog post, “You are authentic, just the way you are.” It all starts within you.

    Our vision

    Our radio show’s vision is to show our audience, YOU, the work, that happens in a leader’s life behind closed doors. The personal growth that they have to go through and still going through in their leadership journey.

    Sometimes, leaders, founders, and successful people are put on a pedestal because of what people see as “success.” But has anyone asked, what these so-called leaders or successful individuals have to go through in order to get there? The pain, the doubts, the adjustments, and the failures. All those things happen in the dark. It all happens when everyone has gone home and the work is done.

    So, gorgeous, in your battle, I am here to tell you, that the leader you aim to be is in YOU. It is something that you can unleash, reveal, and hone.

    With that, I would like to ask for your support on our radio show, “The Leader’s Edge”, as we aim to teach you tangible tools on how to lead. May that be leading a corporation or leading yourself.

    If you find value in this blog post please share it with others, because it’s the only way we will spread the knowledge.

    Always remember, be Bold, be Radiant, and be Confidently You!

  • The Untold Secret to Confidence- Anniversary Special!

    The Untold Secret to Confidence- Anniversary Special!

    Happy Anniversary Gorgeous! Our anniversary blog post is about “The Untold Secret to Confidence”.

    Wow! Can you imagine, it has been a year since I launched this website? And a lot has happened since then. And since you have been following me for quite some time, you have caught some of those events.

    I wanted to take this moment to express my gratitude. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for supporting me. And thank you for taking the time to read my blogs. My wish is that you have gained a token or two from these and have applied it to yourself.

    Now, let’s go back to our favorite topic, “Confidence”. I know I share about confidence a lot on this website. But last year, I had the ultimate realization about confidence. And I wanted to share that information with you. As you already know from our very first blog post, “5 Little known steps to become confident in yourself”. I shared that confidence is a skill. Since it is a skill, It is something that we can always learn and improve.

    Today, I wanted to share the untold secrets about confidence. It’s sad to know that a lot of people seek confidence. Some lack confidence. I know, because I didn’t have confidence in myself before. I had to work hard to gain it. And I know, I am still working on improving my confidence to the level that I need it to be.

    Now, going back to the secrets of “confidence”. It’s fairly easy really. But challenging for a lot of people.

    Untold secrets to “Unconfidence”

    1. Courage is where it starts
    2. It takes familiarity
    3. Repetition is key

    Courage is where it starts

    Courage is the first secret to confidence. You can be scared while having the courage to try. Having the courage to take action. Trust me, it’s scary most of the time. But courage is what I use to get to the next level of my journey. Uncertainty is scary. But so is winning. Regardless, we will feel uneasiness. At the end of the day though, it’s the actions that you have taken that matter.

    I’m not saying it will be easy. Because everything worthwhile will not be easy. Staying where you are is not easy either. So, I challenge you today to answer this question: “What action will you take today to get you closer to where you want to be?” It doesn’t matter if it’s small. I just need you to take the courage to try.

    It takes familiarity

    Do you know the reason why we don’t have confidence in ourselves about something? Or confidence about doing something? Because we just haven’t done it before. Another reason is that we haven’t done it long enough.

    In order to have confidence in something, you have to be familiar with it. For example, your confidence level from your first day at your new job is way different from being in the same job for a year. That is because you have become familiar. So easy right? This is why I have this as an untold secret about “confidence”.

    And how do we get familiar with it? We do it over and over again.

    Repetition is key

    Again, we do it over and over again. But there’s a secret to repetition. It’s not just repeating it over and over again. It is doing, analyzing, reflecting, and then repeating. First is taking action. Analyze the action you have taken. Reflect on what went wrong or what went right. Then repeat with the knowledge that you have gained from your reflection.

    These are the untold secrets to confidence. Very easy right? I challenge you to apply this today and share the impact it has done on you. And if you have found value in this blog post, please share it with others. It’s the only way we can spread knowledge.

    As always… be:

    Bold

    Radiant

    Confidently You!

  • 6 Motivating Examples of exuding Self-Confidence

    6 Motivating Examples of exuding Self-Confidence

    Six motivating examples of exuding self-confidence… very promising and motivating as you read it right?


    It does for me.


    Before reading this post, I recommend reading my blog post, “5 Little known steps to becoming confident in yourself”. There, I have shared five simple tips to becoming confident in yourself.


    After that, then we can dive in see examples of self-confidence.
    Why?


    Well, I wanted you to learn that confidence is a skill first. We need to learn the skill then hone it.


    It is not a personality trait like being an extrovert.
    Yes, it is not.
    So with that said, what signifies that someone exudes confidence?
    What to look for as examples of self-confidence?
    And how would you know when you start showing confidence in yourself?


    Let’s dive in. I am now sharing six motivating examples of someone exuding self-confidence:


    1. Choosing to be authentic


    One of my definitions of self-confidence…


    Self-confidence is being able to walk in a room without comparing yourself with others.

    Ernie O. Dacumos


    In my blog post, “3 Reasons to stop comparing yourself to others“. I shared the quote by Theodore Roosevelt, “Comparison is the thief of all joy” and it’s true.


    In my own experience, I’ve compared myself to others so many times that I can’t even count.


    I used to walk in our work events and wished I am wearing the beautiful dress my coworker was wearing.
    Or I wish I can put make-up on like my colleagues.
    Or I wish I can find time to learn how to put make-up on.
    I wish I am as confident as my boss.
    I kid you not, the list can go on.
    And what I gather from that?
    Losing my confidence in myself.


    Comparing and wishing that you are like someone else leads to losing the most important person on that equation – YOU.


    This is why choosing to be authentic is one example of self-confidence. Because after you’ve learned so much about yourself and learning who you truly are. Your values, how your mind works, what are your strengths and skills.
    That is what will make you unique and authentic.


    And gorgeous, I can hear you say, “I don’t even know what is authentic about me”. Not right now maybe, but read through all this post. I will give you some actions to take to apply the knowledge that I am sharing with you.


    2. Self-acceptance


    Phew! Self-acceptance is very deep. Also, to reiterate each example of self-confidence I gave you can be a lifetime journey. But as you learn along the way and apply each example, you will have more and more self-confidence.


    So, how is self-acceptance an example of showing self-confidence;
    – If you accept yourself, other people’s opinions about your flaws will not have that much of an impact on you.
    – If you accept yourself, you will have more courage to take on something new. Because you know yourself more than anyone else.
    – If you accept yourself, you will show up with different energy and vibration that will exude confidence to others.


    How do we learn about self-acceptance? My best friend Katie Curtis and I created a Masterclass called Getting uncomfortable. It talks about this and 3 more topics (If you would like to get a copy of that masterclass click here).


    But Self-acceptance is being able to walk, speak, and react with the thought and knowledge of who you are as a person. Appearance, skin color, the way you think, your flaws, your strengths, and accepting all it.


    3. Being vulnerable


    Vulnerability as defined by the dictionary as; the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally” sounds very scary.


    And to be honest most of us, including me thinks that being vulnerable, being exposed is a sign of weakness.
    But being vulnerable, being in a state of being exposed, being in a position to be laughed up, be ridiculed, be embarrassed is also a sign of courage.
    It’s a matter of perspective; do you choose to see vulnerability as a weakness or a strength.


    I choose to see it as a strength. Because showing vulnerability helped me connect to the people. Especially those, I wanted to make an impact with. I’ve connected and built great friendships by showing that I too am vulnerable.


    I too didn’t have the confidence in myself. I too started as a shy and very quiet person and I still am. I too did not know what I wanted to do in life.


    If you’ve read the part about me on this website. I’ve shared my past with you, who I was, where I was, and how I got here because I wanted to connect with you.


    Was it easy to share a moment of weakness, no?

    But that is how I can show you gorgeous that I am like you too! I can relate with you, I can be vulnerable too. And there is nothing more beautiful to me than seeing someone, sit across the table or stand on a stage show vulnerability.


    4. Speaking your truth


    Yes, speaking your truth is an example of self-confidence.


    If I asked you how many times have you kept quiet and said, “I’ll just shut my mouth so that this doesn’t turn into an argument.” The answer would most likely be more than a handful right?


    Now, when I say speaking your truth as an example of self-confidence, it does not mean that I want you to go all out and speak your truth full blast and argue.


    Trust me, when speaking your truth by yelling, raising your voice, and cutting people off as they speak, you will never get the message across. Take it from me. I did that and learned the hard way.


    I used to argue, scream, and walk away then complain why that person was not hearing what I have to say. Why are they not listening to me? Well, that is because my method of communicating is not a method to communicate.


    Speak your truth without anger. Speak your truth to communicate with the other person not by attacking them. Speak your truth to be understood not for them to do what you want them to do.


    I can talk about this all day, but you get the gist. Do not settle and just agree on everything.


    Speak your truth when needed but speak your truth to communicate. Not to cause an argument and guess what, you will feel that self-confidence of being around others.


    5. Resilience


    Resilience Is an example of self-confidence!
    Why? How?


    It is an example of self-confidence because life will throw curveballs at you! Struggles, trials, problems after problems. But if you do not have the resilience to move from that, then life will be more challenging.


    And guess what, the more you keep moving forward despite the problems you have, the more you will develop that self-confidence in yourself.


    You will say and I challenge you to recap moments in your life where you’ve said this to yourself, “I went through this before, I can go through it again.”


    To me, I’ve said that phrase whenever I was getting over a breakup. When I was starting a new job. When I am joining events I have no idea what to expect. When I am meeting new people. When I am coming across a financial problem.


    You may not notice it. But when you get up in the morning every day despite all the problems, the worries, the doubts, the emotions that you have, that shows resilience in itself.
    The question is, do you acknowledge that effort from you? Do you celebrate yourself?
    If not, it’s never too late.


    6. Courage

    The last example of self-confidence is courage.


    Courage goes hand in hand with resilience, it takes courage to get back up every day and keep moving forward.


    Life is worth living, we just have to have the courage to live it!


    Self-confidence starts with having the courage to get up and start over again.
    Speaking in front of others takes courage.
    Learning something new takes courage.
    Exploring a new place takes courage.
    Facing problems every day takes courage.
    Yet we do not acknowledge it enough.


    We tend to focus on our fears, our limiting beliefs, and everything around us that stops us to see our potential.


    And to be honest gorgeous, if you have not noticed, the examples that I gave you are already within you.


    You have the self-confidence in you, you just needed a reminder.


    Now, as promised I have a few action steps for you to do after reading this post. See them below and I would love to hear your experience with those action steps. Message me on Instagram, Facebook, email, or better yet, here on the website.

    I would love to get to know you, learn more about you and find out how to best serve you.
    Set 30-60 minutes for yourself and answer the following questions:

    • What activities make me happy? (e.g. watching movies, going to the beach)
    • What do I love about myself?
    • What makes me laugh?
    • In my lifetime, what are the biggest life struggles I’ve overcome?
    • In my lifetime, what are my biggest achievements?
    • In my lifetime, what moments I had to face even though I was scared?
    • What do I do to celebrate myself? If you don’t celebrate yourself, it’s never too late. It is a requirement. (e.g. spa, massage, movie).

    Always remember gorgeous… Be bold, Be radiant, Be Confidently You!