Hi there gorgeous! Gosh, writing a blog every month can be impactful. I am now realizing how much I’ve missed writing. And I sure hope you’ve missed my writing as well. The title of our blog post today is, “Winning starts with believing that you will win!”
Now, if you have been following me for quite some time, you may have heard that my co-host and I launched our international radio show called, “The Leader’s Edge.” And you can learn a bit more about it from one of my previous blog posts, “The Leader You Aim to be is in You”
Chaz Gates, the COO and co-founder of Wondry Wine, is our special guest for today’s episode on the radio show. And the title of his radio show episode is “The Calvary Always Comes”. Feel free to listen to it, after reading this blog first.
Now, I will not share the whole show with you, but I will share one of the messages that he shared on the show. This message is a very good reminder for me, and I just realized that it tied in with the movie that I watched this evening, called “Champions” with actor “Woody Harrelson.” I highly recommend it if you have not had a chance to see it.
Now, I will not spoil the movie either but the message I have gathered is, “winning starts with the belief that you will win.”
Sometimes we are so busy setting goals, wishing to achieve something, and taking action, that we forget the most important thing, and because of this, we put a cap on our abilities. But if we practice the belief that we will win, that is half of the battle.
Why? Because believing that you will win helps you stay focused on the goal
Believing that you will win helps you stay focused on the goal
Gorgeous, your energy is valuable! Read that again! I know that fears, limiting beliefs, and inner critics exist. And entertaining these fears all the time can suck the energy out of you. But what if, you focus your energy knowing and believing that you’ve already won? Isn’t that a feel-good moment? Wouldn’t you want to feel good instead of dealing with the negative thoughts and emotions that your fears invoke?
I learned this along the way of my journey and Chaz shared it on the show too, if we work hard, treat whatever it is that we are working on as our baby. Invest every day, what do you think would be the end result? Success right?
In the book In-Vision by my great friend Niel Magsombol, he said, “Our visions are a glimpse of the future.” Now, in order for that vision to become a reality, you have to believe that it is already yours. It is already in existence, you just have to work on existing in that glimpse of the future.
Too good to be true? I know! But let me ask you this, what are you currently working towards? Maybe building a business. Working overseas. Or working your way up to your dream job. All these things, at some point in time you had a vivid image of what it looks like. That is your vision.
Now, if the vision is in your mind, why is it so hard to see that it is already done? Why is it a challenge to put yourself in it? It is because we lack the belief that it is possible.
How do you start believing? I have my teaching about confidence that having confidence starts with having the courage to take thought into action and repeatedly do it all over again.
There are three sources of courage which is where belief comes from:
1. Belief in yourself – right now, you may not have a lot but hey, this is why you are reading this blog post right? You are working on improving your mindset
2. Belief from others – this could be the faith and support coming from your friends, family, or a mentor
3. Belief in a higher power – this is where your faith is; it could be Jesus, Buddha, etc.
So there you have it, how winning starts with believing that you’ve already won, and where you can start getting that belief.
Another blog post in the books and if you found value in this blog post, share it with someone who may benefit from it. It’s the only way we can spread these tools to others.
Have you ever had that burning desire to do something and then do it? But fallen flat because you didn’t get the outcome that you wanted? If you answer yes, I wanted to share this blog post, “How to handle every ‘defeat’ with ease.
You’re probably thinking, handling defeat itself is hard enough, then I added handling it ‘with ease’. Bold statement right?
Anyway, this blog post is triggered by my recent journey of joining the Toastmasters International Speech Contest. I joined to test my speaking skills and to continuously grow. I am sharing this with you simply because as I mentioned, this blog post is to share my journey. So, I will continue to do so!
Since it is International, we have to go through the process of elimination. From the club to the area, to the district, and the list goes on.
I was able to move on from the club to the area competition with high hopes that I would be competing in the district competition. I did win third place but not enough to move on to the next level. Now, has this affected me? Yes!
Are you wondering how I’m dealing with it? Read below.
How to handle every “defeat” with ease
Let the emotion go
Reflect on the emotion
Reflect on the incident
Find ways to improve
Let the emotion go
Sometimes I just need to release my emotions to launch myself to take more actions
– Ernie
Handling defeat is hard. Not getting the result that you wanted is painful. It makes you question yourself. These emotions or feelings are normal. I will not say, you shouldn’t feel that way, because despite the mindset shift that I have gone through, I still feel disappointed. Pain. Sadness even. It’s what makes us human. If someone tells you to suck it up and move on, please get away from that person. Or don’t listen to him or her.
This is why the first step in handling defeat is letting the emotions go. Not to tell it to go away. Or sucking it up. But to let it go like crying it out if you feel called to.
Years ago, I used to handle defeat by staying in my room for one night. With a bottle of wine A couple of snacks and sad music. There, I will pour my heart out. And it worked. With a little bit of a headache the next day. But it worked.
I was so happy when John Maxwell, my mentor advised us of a similar rule that he has. The 24-hour rule, He says, despite all the personal growth, we will still have bad days We will still have days where we feel defeated. So, he shared the 24-hour rule. Giving yourself 24 hours to be a mess. Giving yourself space to feel the defeat. The pain. Disappointment. Sadness. Anger even. Let it out.
It’s okay to do this. Again, it’s what makes us human. It is much better to welcome that emotion and release instead of staying in it. Bottling it up. Going on this downward spiral and feeling sorry for yourself.
Please give yourself permission to feel defeated. It’s the only way you will be able to move on in a healthy way.
Reflect on the emotion
Now, the first step in handling defeat is letting the emotions go. And I shared about the 24-hour rule by John Maxwell. But if you’re saying that 24 hours may not be enough. Well, I got you covered.
Read my previous blog post, “Quick Ways to Handle the Inner Voice in your head”. All the things that will be in your mind will come from that inner voice. The doubts. Blame. Frustration. Again, this is normal. It is okay to go through it, but it’s not okay to stay feeling defeated.
In that blog post, I wrote 4 questions to ask yourself when the inner voice is taking over.
Ask yourself “what does it make me feel?
Do I want to continue feeling this way?
What can I do to stop feeling this way?
When can I start doing something about it?
These questions carried me through my days of defeat, regardless of their intensity. So, I challenge you to utilize it.
Reflect on the incident
Yes, you have to re-live the memory of what happened again. Not to torture you. But for you to see what truly happened.
It’s important to take care of the emotions first. Then go back to what happened. Doing so will increase the possibility that you are more logical and will be able to analyze the situation logically.
Ask these questions:
What went right?
What went wrong?
What could have been done differently?
How can you improve next time?
Yes, there will be a next time gorgeous because giving up is not an option.
Find ways to improve
Again, personal growth is a journey. There is no finish line. I love this idea because there is no capitation to what we can achieve. No limit to what we can learn.
There you go, these are the ways how to handle defeat with ease. Yes, with ease. What makes it easy is that you allow yourself to be vulnerable. Which then helps you to launch yourself to take more actions moving forward.
Please share this blog post with whomever you think may find value in it. It’s the only way we can spread knowledge.
What? You are probably asking what I mean by simple ways to declutter your life and mind. I honestly said the same thing when I learned about this.
Do you know that overwhelming experience that you feel on a day-to-day basis?
You are probably thinking of “declutter your life” meaning tidying up your home and organizing things and making sure that everything is clean. Though that is part of it. It’s not what I meant when I said decluttering your life and mind.
Don’t get me wrong, I love coming home to a house that is clean and organized. You can probably relate but my very first task of the day is to make my bed.
What I mean by it though is reorganizing every other aspect that can cause you to feel overwhelmed. Something that can cause you to feel anxious. And worried. So, below are the simple ways to declutter your life and mind.
Simple ways to declutter your life and mind
Clear up your phone and social media
Choose the data you consume
Be picky with the people you spend time with
Purge in your house
Meditating
Power of 5
Be one with nature
Clear up your phone and social media
We use our phones as our source to kill time. To avoid awkward moments. To fill the void, that silence that we experience.
But do you know that your phone can be a cause of feeling overwhelmed and anxious?
This is why cleaning up your phone and social media is a way to declutter your life and mind.
The applications on your phone can be very overwhelming. The moment you open your eyes, the first thing you look at is your phone and all the apps on it. Reorganize it.
Categorize them in a way that makes sense to you. I categorized anything that is related to money as “I am abundant”. Applications related to learning as “I am wise”. And those related to health as “I am healthy”. (See images below to compare the difference).
Another tip would be decluttering your friends on social media. Friends on Facebook that you do not interact with, please unfriend them. People you follow on social media who do not add up to your mental wellness. Please do yourself a favor and unfollow them.
This tip was so liberating for me because it gave me peace of mind after. I don’t have to see negative posts. Or anything about hatred. Or posts that cause me to feel angry.
Choose the data you consume
Yes, choose the data that you consume. This can help you minimize the anxiety that you feel afterward.
One huge piece of data that does not help you is watching the news. Because when was the last time you watched the news and felt good?
It talks about recession. The coronavirus. War. And all other negative things. It’s not a bad thing to be in the know, but do not immerse yourself in it. News feeds your fear. Anxiety. And worry.
So, declutter your life by choosing the data you consume.
Be picky with the people you spend time with
In my blog post, 4 Ways to keep positivity in your life, I shared that in order to keep positivity in your life. You need to surround yourself with positive people. And don’t worry I will not say to get rid of the negative people in your life. Those people can be your partner. Your best friend or anyone close. But at least do yourself a favor and spend less time with them. It’s not always easy to do this, but your sanity and peace are important too. It’s not being selfish. Once you focus on yourself first, the better you show up for others. So declutter your life by being picky with the people you spend time with.
Declutter your life by purging in your house
Okay okay, I am not disregarding the people who like clutter and chaos. Somehow there are people who can effectively function in this type of environment. I wanted to focus on the people who thrive in a clean, organized, and tidy environment.
Cleaning my house is a stress reliever for me. It’s still true to this day. You may find it weird, but I find satisfaction in buying cleaning products. There is something about coming home with a clean and tidy house. It feels homey. If that makes sense.
But let’s get deeper into this. You know when you moved into your new home or apartment and it felt empty? Like you almost have no furniture and items in the house? Then somehow a year later, you look at all the things that you have accumulated over the years.
Yes! I can guarantee you that most of those things no longer serve you. So, declutter your life by purging in your house. Clothes that you never wore or no longer wear, donate them to the thrift store or charity.
I send most of my unused clothes back home.
Kitchen items that you said you need yet never used. Things in your garage that you bought because they were on sale but never used. Purge, purge, purge. This will lessen the burden and the overwhelm that you feel.
Declutter your life by meditating
One way to declutter your life and mind is by meditating. I say life and mind because meditation has that result. When you meditate, you don’t just clear your mind, it gives you a better direction in your life as well. It helps you refocus if you will.
I remember when I was starting my journey and was learning about meditation. It definitely caught my curiosity. I tried doing it but when I do, the first thing that comes to mind is food. Yup, you read it right. Food. I could not focus because I was getting hungry.
Until I learned about guided meditation and it changed the game for me. So, meditation may sound intimidating. But there are different types or ways of meditation. I learned from church today that we all meditate every day. How? We meditate by worrying.
This is so true. Because we sit in our minds going on a downward spiral within our own thoughts. This also confirms that whoever you are and wherever you are, you can meditate.
Guided meditation helped me find peace after a stressful day. It helps me refocus when I’m feeling overwhelmed. I even find healing in it when I’m hurting. Try this guided meditation and see how it goes for you.
The power of 5
Do you feel like you have so many things that you need to do but never had the time to do them?
Let me introduce you to the power of 5. This simple way is way more productive than when you are in your head thinking of things that you need to do. Yet tell yourself you don’t have time.
Disclaimer, tough love coming through. I have heard this time and time again, I wanted to do this. I wish I could do that. I’m interested…. but I don’t have the time.
How in the world can you say that you don’t have the time when you haven’t even tried?
Trust me, this was a slap on my face too. I learned that saying “I don’t have time is an excuse”.
There is an underlying fear in that excuse that is why you won’t even try. But what is even more painful for me when I was lectured about this was, that not having time means it’s not your priority.
So, if you wanted to start with personal development yet you say it’s too hard, I don’t have time.
If you want to lose weight, but failed because you don’t have time.
I don’t have time for myself because I’m busy with my family.
All these means that whatever it is that you are saying you don’t have time to, is just NOT. YOUR. PRIORITY.
I know, it heard a nerve for me too.
So, one way to declutter your life and mind of all the anxiety and guilt is to use the power of 5. This method is listing 5 items that you plan to do and accomplish tomorrow. Focus on one task and one task only. Once done, move on to the next.
I promise you, that you will be productive. And not having time will not even be in the picture. Try it and let me know how it goes in the comments below.
Being one with nature is a way to declutter your life
If you have been reading my blogs for the past 6 months, you have probably come across this. And yes, being one with nature is a way to declutter your life. It’s like a reset button.
This is why a lot of people want to go on vacations by the water. Some love being around trees.
There is something about being in nature that gives you that sense of peace. Calmness. And it regenerates and fills your energy.
I do this once in a while to reset. And honor me. To reflect on and celebrate my progress. I highly recommend it.
So there you go, 7 simple ways to declutter your life. This blog post if applied is a priceless token of information. It was life-changing for me, and I know it will be for you too.
