Confidently You

Blog

  • 4 Simple activities to stay grounded!

    4 Simple activities to stay grounded!

    You must be saying, “Are you going nuts, Ernie? I don’t have it all yet and what are you talking about staying grounded I am on the ground and have not reached my goals?”

    Okay, I am speaking metaphorically here dear.

    I know that you are here to learn how to have a better mindset and/or how to gain confidence, so why did I say you have it all?

    Because you do! You have all the things that you need right now at this moment. The roof over your head, the food on your table, the clothes you wear, the water you drink, a source of income to keep you sustainable. But the thing is, do you even recognize it?

    I will confess that I did not recognize having these things before. I was so busy reaching for the next big thing; salary increase, a job promotion, a business to build, that I did not stop and recognize or even acknowledge how far I have become. What level in life I have reached?

    I became impatient, short-tempered and most of all, anxious!

    I was living in the past and having anxiety about the future. Not realizing that I am missing the most important moment, which is now.

    So, when I say staying grounded, I meant living in the… “now”.

    Now, you have clarity of what I meant, I will ask the same question, how do you stay grounded while having it all?

    How did I do it?

    I joined a program called the HerhigherSelf program coordinated by my mentor and became a very good friend Shari Angelina. I did not know what to expect from her program, but I wanted to find peace in myself and calm the chaos in my mind, and I was surprised with how easy it was.

    Here are my takeaways from her program that helps me stay grounded:

    1. Journal

    Whether it is good, bad, or ugly- write it down. Write down what happened to you that day, what did you do, what did you feel, who you were with. Express yourself, surrender and voice your truth. It is your moment with yourself, your way to release after all the commotion, after all the noise, and after all the busyness. That moment is yours and yours only.

    2. Gratitude

    Expressing gratitude was a big realization of how abundant I was even though I have not reached my desired goals. I started with having a separate notebook and every morning I would write all the things that I was grateful for.

    • I am grateful for another day to be alive. I am grateful for the roof over my head and keeps me sheltered.
    • I am grateful for the sun shining providing light in the sky.
    • I am grateful for my health and for my family’s health.
    • I am grateful for my family.

    These are a few examples, and over time, I learned to express them in a chant in the morning the moment I open my eyes and stretch my body.

    Yes, I may not where I wanted to be then, but I know what I have, and it is all I need.

    3. Meditation

    Now, what? Meditation? That’s boring! You may say! I am not going to lie, how can with a chaotic mind sit down and meditate, her own mind racing will eat her alive. Yes, bizarre right? That is how my mind used to work. But staying grounded means stopping, reflecting and meditating.

    Also, I did not see meditation fitting for me because whenever I attempted to do it, I was thinking about food. Yes, food!

    It is not until I learned about guided meditation which was introduced to me by the well-known Human Optimizer Adrian Z. Wesley. His guided meditation helped me focused and the delta wave music in the background helped me calm down. It worked wonders as they say. And I’ve used it ever since especially on days when overwhelmed and stressed out.

    4. Sit with yourself

    Yes, gorgeous, you read it right, sitting with yourself is another way to stay grounded. How? I thought you’ve never asked. One activity that stuck with me after completing the HerhigherSelf program was to sit with myself. In the program, Shari instructed us to focus on this activity as a form of self-love, I will dive into this in the future. I had to schedule a day, 24 hours, to do nothing but to spend time with myself. Technically, a day off from everything; no movies, no music, no cellphone, no driving, no exercising, no people around me, just time with me, myself, and I.

    Did it drive me crazy? Surprisingly not! I realized that I was too busy spending my time with other activities, other people but for myself. I liked hanging out with myself. I journaled that day, I had a precooked meal ready, so I don’t take time away from myself. I happened to take three naps, yes, I know, crazy.

    But these are the things that we don’t do, not realizing that our company is important too. Checking in with yourself, asking yourself how you are feeling, feeling, embracing the moment, embracing the time means embracing you!

    Now, that you know my ways on how to stay grounded, I would love for you to try them and let me know how they worked for you. Also, check out my post, “3 Killer ways to show up for yourself” for more tips.

  • 5 Little-known steps to become Confident in Yourself!

    5 Little-known steps to become Confident in Yourself!

    Confidence…

    Ahhh, the word itself used to make me cringe. For years, it was something I thought I will never have.

    I am from a third-world country who moved to the United States when I was 17 years old. The language used here is English, which is not my native language. and to be quite honest, something I struggled to understand when uttered by the residents in this country. If that does not intimidate a young woman, enough?

    I had no confidence in myself and felt small in such a big world.

    It is not until I heard from a well-known motivational speaker, Mel Robbins that Confidence is not a personality trait, it is a skill! And one thing about skill, it is something one can learn.

    Mel Robbins talked about The Competent Confidence Loop. It is about acting, improving from that action can then build competence, once it is repeated, we develop self-belief, which later boosts confidence.

    It sounds so simple, right?

    Confidence has a lot of definitions but in its entirety, confidence to me is having the courage to act despite fears and limiting beliefs. And I have applied this definition in everything I do, ever since.

    “Okay, easier said than done”, you may comment with your eyes rolling. I understand gorgeous. I did the same exact thing and to tell you the truth, gathering the courage did not happen overnight. Up to this day, I still try to gather the courage to even write this blog, let alone share it with ambitious women like you.

    I have provided a few tips on how to start building your confidence with these 5 Ds:

    • Do what your intuition says:

    If your first thought says you wanted to go after a certain task, goal, or whatever the case may be, follow it!

    • Do not negotiate with yourself:

    Analysis paralysis is what we call it. Having a strong desire to do something but your mind comes in and tells you what could go wrong, the answer is no! Do not negotiate!

    • Do it:

    You know when you watch an action movie where the hero(s) attacks the enemy headquarters with guns blazing? Do exactly that, dive into that task with all you’ve got. It does not matter if you have it all figured out yet, just do!

    • Do it again:

    Remember the competence confidence loop? Repetition is key, it’s okay to make mistakes, make the mistakes fast, but learn from those mistakes.

    • Do celebrate yourself

    Gorgeous, we are not meant to suffer or work all the time. Celebrate your accomplishments, even the mistakes, and the lesson learned from them, it is called progress. The more you acknowledge it, the more you will feel confident to do more and look forward to celebrating. Now, I am not saying do an extravagant celebration, it can be small too. Do a spa day, buy yourself a book, take a day off, whatever will fill your soul and make you happy.

    Now that you have the initial tricks on how to dive into creating or learning to have confidence. I challenge you to apply them every time you have a task at hand. Try it even on the smallest task that you have been putting off. I assure you, you will feel fulfilled afterward.

    Would you like me to keep you in on a little secret? Notice that each step starts with the word “Do” because that is the main key- taking action.

    We can think, hope, wish, plan all day, but no action will not help us progress. Now, the ball is in your court, let’s see how you will take the shot. Comment below. Until next time dear.

    Always remember,

    You are beautiful, you are worthy and most of all, YOU ARE POWERFUL!

  • 3 Reasons to stop comparing yourself to others

    3 Reasons to stop comparing yourself to others

    Comparison is the thief of joy!

    -Theodore Roosevelt

    How many times have you scrolled through social media and wished that you have that nice car, nice house, or you are on a tropical island sipping a Piña colada like the beautiful lady in the picture?

    How about wishing that you have that perfect body, or know how to properly put makeup on and have that glowing, well-concealed beautiful face?

    There’s more, how about you just started your own business and working hard to build it, but you see your friends at a club and partying?

    Does any of these questions hit a nerve in you?

    It sure hit me at the time and what I have learned was, comparing myself to others robbed me of my own happiness and I am sure in reading the questions above, it hit you as well.

    That is why gorgeous I am sharing these reasons with you as to why you need to stop comparing yourself to others.

    1. Comparing yourself to others makes you focus on the things you lack, instead of the things you have.

    In my personal development journey, I have learned that focusing on the negatives will bring you more negatives and if you focus on the positives will bring you more positives.

    Now, it sounds so easy right, but you are questioning it because all you hear on the news are negative things, yet there is a community, a group of people who learned that they have the power to choose what information they process and consume. I was one of those people who learned it as well and my love, I am sharing it with you.

    You have the power to choose between watching the news which is negatives. Good news on TV is very rare and if there is, the ratings of viewers are not as high as the ratings on episodes with negative information on it.

    There is a scientific explanation to it; in which I have learned from the Mindset Mentor podcast hosted by Rob Dial, our brain has a Reticular Activating System (RAS), and what it does is filter out the information that you do not focus on and only shows you the information that interest you, mind you I do not have a degree on this but this is how I understood his explanation.

    Still, doubt it?

    I would like you to test it yourself, let’s say you saw a commercial about Tesla on television and found the car’s design intriguing, your RAS will save that information in your brain and the moment you start driving on the road, you will start noticing Tesla cars without even having the intention of looking for it.

    You can test it with any other information that catches your attention and let me know how it was for you.

    2. Comparing yourself with others devalue yourself.

    What? Harsh I know, but dear, I am not here to sugarcoat it for you.

    How does comparing yourself with others devalue yourself?

    – Wishing that you know how to properly put makeup on just to look beautiful devalues yourself for not considering that you are beautiful and unique without needing to put make-up on.

    – Wishing that you have the perfect body to consider yourself beautiful or healthy sadly devalues yourself as well.

    – Wishing that you are successful in your business and partying devalues your effort to start it and you are in the building stage of your journey.

    By doing this, the tendency is, you don’t realize how beautiful you already are, you forget the journey and efforts that you’ve put in to be in your situation right now, and most of all, it robs you of that feeling of fulfillment of reaching that level in your life.

    Choose to use those images, that information to motivate you not to discourage.

    3. Comparing yourself with others takes you away from being authentic.

    Love, as I said above, you are unique, beautiful, and where you exactly need to be in your life, but there is always growth. But the thing is, we all have our own paths of growth, what you see on social media, or any outside source will not be like the path that you want to take.

    Being on a tropical island is nice, but do you want to live on an island 24/7?

    Having a perfect body would be amazing, but does it fit your lifestyle, or being healthy is more of your priority?

    Owning a business sounds empowering, but is it what you want?

    Analyze these questions and ask yourself, is the information you see from outside sources something that you want to achieve, or just bits and pieces of it? Do you have a better idea of your own definition of success?

    I will answer that for you, and it is a big, YES!

    Again, you are authentic as you are, comparing yourself with others takes you away from being one. This is your own journey, work on yourself and believe me, you will find your higher self once you dive into your own personal development journey as I did.