Why not you? In this blog post, I wanted to give you the impeccable reasoning behind the question, why not you?
It is my greatest dream to write a book that will make an impact on a lot of people. And I’ve decided that the title of my first book will be, “Why not you?”.
“Why”, you ask?
“Because why not?”
Think about this for a second. Sometimes, when you see something that you want to do. Something that you’re really interested in. The first thing you do is talk yourself out of it.
You may not agree with me, but let me give you an example.
Seeing beautiful pictures on social media. This gives you the desire to travel there too. Yet, the first thing that comes to mind is, “I don’t have the money”. You just talked yourself out of it.
Robert Kiyosaki explained the difference between a winner and loser mindset. The winner mindset finds out a way to solve the problem. The loser mindset, states the problem and stops there. A little harsh but sometimes, we do need some tough love.
So, using the same example above, if you wanted to travel, “why not?”
You are probably rolling your eyes at me as you read this. But let me explain with the following reasons below.
The reasoning behind the question, “Why not You?”
You have a burning desire to do it, why not you?
You’re capable of doing it
Your will to learn and take action will help you
Other people have the same fears, yet still, did it, so why not you?
You have a burning desire to do it
Going back to the same example above, you have a burning desire to travel.
Yes, yes, I get it, money is the problem. But you can save money though right?
In my blog post, “You are what you are meant to be”, I used Eleanor Rooseve’ts words. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. So, in that sense, if you are letting money stop you from doing what you want to do. Then you are giving it consent to make you feel inferior.
Knowing you, you are more capable than that. This leads us to the next reason behind the question, “why not you?”
You’re capable of doing it
Like me, I am confident that you know within you that you are capable. And you can apply this to any aspect of your life. You don’t give yourself enough credit though.
I wanted you to stop for a second and reflect on every hardship. Every struggle. Even the problems that you never thought you will never get out of. You got through them. Think about that. If you were capable of going through those problems, struggles, and trials. What is different from what you are facing now? It’s just another problem, right?
I saw this movie yesterday called, The Grayman on Netflix. Ryan Gosling was the main actor there, as a trained assassin. He used the phrase, “It’s just another Thursday”, to give Claire (actress in the movie), assurance that everything will be okay. An impeccable mindset to have before he faces his opponent.
I plan to apply that in my life whenever I feel stuck. It’s just another Thursday. Just like, it’s just a regular day. Then figure out how to solve the problem.
And guess what? YOU.CAN.TOO!
You are capable! So, why not you?
Your will to learn and take action will help you
Again, why not you?
“I don’t know how,” you say.
Yes, I know, you may not see the path now, but it’s okay.
One thing I learned in my journey is, that I don’t have to have all the answers.
And I would like to let you in on a secret. Part of manifestation is co-creation. If you believe in God, the universe, or whatever faith you have. You co-create.
I co-create with my God. I take action based on what I can. And my will to learn. Now the path is my God’s part of co-creating. He leads the way.
So, in your scenario, I recommend using this concept. Learn as much as you can. Take action to your capabilities. And whatever is unclear right now. Ask for guidance.
Other people have the same fears, yet still, did it, so why not you?
There is probably at some point of you reading this post where your mind is screaming. Saying, “No, Ernie, you don’t understand.”
The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.
-Steve Jobs
I may not understand what your mind is telling you right now. But here is what I know. Those voices in your head. Those are what we call, “False evidence appearing real”, a.k.a. FEAR.
And to tell you the truth, we all have it. Again, as I said, before you can even come up with a solution to taking action, you have talked yourself out of it. That is your fear.
Lisa Nichols shared in one of her speeches that she was given the response by one of her clients and said, “I’ve always been this way.” And her response was, “How is that working out for you?” And that hit me.
We can make that comment, but how is our mindset? How is our decision towards the things that we desire to do working out for us?
If your answer is, that it’s not working out. Then, take action. Make a change. Give yourself permission to try!
Other people who had made it did it scared. Why not you?
Now, the intention of this blog post is to empower you. To show you that you have options. Help you realize that you are capable. But at the end of the day, when all the noise is gone.
To me, knowing the difference between fixed and growth mindset is important. Read through this entire blog post to find out why.
I am passionate about this topic because this is not something that is always taught in school.
Growing up, I believed that if I failed a subject in class, that meant I am dumb.
I remember in elementary and high school, the classrooms are arranged in a certain way. The ones with the highest grades in academics were in the first section. The second, third, and fourth sections are arranged as follows. And now reflecting on it made me realize that we are segregated and judged at a very young age. Because of that, it instilled a mindset that we are not as good as the ones in the first grade. That’s sad, ain’t it?
At a young age, we were taught that if we are not as good as the ones on top, we will remain at the end of the herd. A mindset that ruins our confidence in every aspect of our lives. Now, this is my observation though.
What is mindset?
My mindset was one of the things that I needed to improve in my personal development journey. But what hit home for me was learning about the difference between the fixed and growth mindset. Carol S. Dweck beautifully explained the concept of mindset through her book, Mindset. In it, she defined it as, ” “the view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life.”
To me, Mindset means how you view life through your own lens. It consists of your own beliefs, values, and knowledge. And the type of mindset determines how you will live your life.
Mindset by Carol Dweck Ph.D
What is it like having a fixed mindset?
Having a fixed mindset means no growth. A fixed mindset means having limitations. And fixed mindset will result in feeling stuck. I can say this because I was there too.
I’ve always believed that I cannot improve my skills. If I don’t know how to do it, I cannot learn it.
Let’s use confidence as an example. I lost my confidence in myself years ago. I moved to a completely different country without knowing its culture. It was a culture shock. Which resulted in an inferiority complex.
I lost my confidence when I divorced my husband which made me think that I will never be good enough. Or I am too much for someone.
Reminiscing my thoughts then makes me want to hug the old me. It was a devastating period of my life.
The thought of being not good enough made me feel uneasy about a lot of things. My work. How I carried myself. And how I treated myself.
I used to dim my light. Thinking that I will not measure up. I’ve always been shy and in the back of a room just observing and listening. Instead of giving my thoughts and ideas. And I beat myself up emotionally whenever I made mistakes. All that made me feel anxious.
Having a fixed mindset resulted in me taking criticism as personal. I always felt attacked when someone tells me their opinions about my work or me personally.
And the worst part of it all was, that I had the mindset of I am good enough where I am and I will not grow out of there.
What is it like having a growth mindset?
A growth mindset is just exactly what it is, growth.
Instead of thinking, I am not good enough. It is thinking, how can I improve?
It is the opposite of “I can’t”, it is saying, “how can I learn”?
Having a growth mindset looks at failure as an opportunity to grow. This was huge for me because I hated failing. I hated making mistakes then. Failing and making mistakes made me feel inadequate.
Remember when I said, I would beat myself up emotionally? It is true.
Have you tried playing the scene or situation in your head? And tried to figure out ways on how you could have done it differently? Or what could you have said differently? I did that. Many times. It gave me anxiety because I know I cannot change that situation at all. I’ve called myself names. Stupid. You suck. Dumb. Which again affected my confidence.
Do you want to know what opened my eyes in all this at the very beginning? It is when I found out that confidence is not a personality trait. Confidence is a skill. A skill is something you can learn. It is something you can improve. And I have been obsessed to learn and improve my confidence since.
Comparing the fixed and growth mindsets
Henry Ford had said…
Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t. You are right!
Henry Ford
Whether you think you can, or you think you cannot, you are right! It is true! Because it is all based on your mindset!
I said earlier that having a fixed mindset will result in feeling stuck and based on my past experience, it is true.
I used to be so unhappy with my job. The politics. The stress. And the anxiety it gave me. I felt stuck. And I settled because I thought nothing is better out there.
I was also scared of starting new. I also thought that if I leave, I could fail. This was all because I had a fixed mindset.
But I had this burning desire inside of me. The desire of being happy. Being at peace. And just being me. I am not saying I wanted to live a perfect life because what is the fun in that right? I am saying that I don’t have to live an unhappy life. That, I have a choice.
So, I took a leap of faith and quit. I packed and changed my environment. Learned so many things along the way. And found a job where I felt like I mattered. The bonus part was, that I get to influence my team
And if you are not happy with your job today. If you asked me what you should do? I would tell you to do just that. Quit!
I don’t care if you are making a ton of money with your current job. I don’t care if they have a great retirement plan for you. Nor if your employers give you a lot of perks.
Quit!
Money can be earned somewhere else! Your retirement plan will be useless if you end up being sick. And most importantly perks are nothing compared to being happy. Happy where you are and doing what you love to do.
So again, a fixed mindset will limit you. If you are content where you are, by all means, you have my support. But if you want more. If you want growth. if a change is something you seek. Learn how you will get there. Grow your way. And I promise you, you will not be disappointed.
Feel free to take this knowledge and apply it in your life gorgeous. And if you found value in this post, please share it with others. This is how this blog will grow, that way we can spread positivity and confidence with others.
If you were to ask me, for advice to give someone who wants to start driving towards their goals. It would be, “Learn why it is important to invest in yourself.”
I know gorgeous; you are a dreamer and an action taker. This is why this post will definitely benefit you in your journey. That journey may be the following below, but learning to invest in yourself is a huge factor :
-starting your own business
-changing your career
-starting your career
-moving from one country to another
-or even a personal journey of becoming more confident in yourself
Now, what do I mean by investing in yourself?
When we hear the word invest, the first thing that comes to mind is ‘money’ right?
Well investing in yourself is not just about spending money. Investing in yourself means investing time, effort/energy, money.
You can make monetary investments by say investing in stocks, crypto, now NFTs. But that investment will not succeed, if you do not put the ‘time’ in to learn about the products that you are investing in. and when you put the time in, you must make an ‘effort’ to understand and learn it
You can buy all the personal development books available. But if you don’t make time to read each book. Gather the energy to take action on your learnings, then it would be irrelevant.
So, investment in yourself requires a combination of all three.
Michael Schrage, states that Knowledge alone is not power.
“The ability to act on knowledge is power.”
Michael Schrage
Which to me is quite powerful and true.
Now that you have the idea of what I meant.
Here are the five reasons why it is important to invest in yourself.
1. It is important to invest in yourself because it results in a higher ROI.
We live in today where information is easily accessible. You don’t even need to be at home in front of a computer to find whatever information you need. All you have to do is to access the web browser on your phone and you will find the information you are looking for.
And because of that knowledge, we tend to have the mindset that we can get the information we need for ‘free’. And when there is a cost or investment needed, we look in the other direction.
I know how this feels, I went through this too, but gorgeous, everything in life comes with a cost. It’s not a crime, it’s how it is. It requires a little improvement in the “money mindset” department is all.
Let me give you a few examples:
You wanted to earn a degree, right? You go to a university and what do you need to do to enroll? Money. Today there are ‘financial aid’ available that you can pay off even after you have graduated.
You wanted to buy food at a grocery store, what do you need to buy the food? Money.
You wanted a roof over your head, what do you need to get it? Money.
So why do we hesitate when we hear the word, invest?
I dove into entrepreneurship several times. The first thing they to me was I have to invest money into my business. Guess what I did?
I turned around and called it a scam.
So, I get it. And trust me, learning that to improve I needed to put money out first was tough, but guess what the outcome is?
Higher Return of Investment (ROI).
In a job, if you don’t have a degree and experience, your salary starts at a base rate. So, you go to school for higher pay right?
I’ve seen this quote but am not sure who said it…
“Billionaires lose millions to become billionaires. Millionaires lose thousands to become millionaires. Broke people want to lose nothing to become rich and successful.”
And it hit hard. So, next time you wanted to start something. And comes with a cost, reflect on that quote first before shying away from it.
Yes, you may get information for free. But I can confidently tell you that the ‘free’ information that you are getting is basic. Anything on the next level will not be free. That information is what you need to propel forward. To reach the next level on the journey that you wanted to take.
2. It is important to invest in yourself because you learn to be gentler with yourself.
As I said earlier, if you’re reading this blog post, I know that you are a dreamer and you wanted to make an impact. But to deliver, there is a lot of inner work that you need to do. And that is what we call your personal development journey.
Have you heard of the term, “Overachiever”? Yeah?
Has anyone called you an overachiever? Me too!
And it’s not a bad thing. I see it as a compliment, and I aim to function like one. But what we don’t realize is the disadvantage of having high expectations which result to:
a. Beating yourself up
I have done this many times. I’ve called myself, “stupid” because I made a mistake. “Ugly” because I cannot look good enough. And these words are damaging.
b. Being a perfectionists
If you have considered yourself a perfectionist, “Do not shoot me”. I have learned that being a perfectionist means that you are hiding from fear. Yes, you read it. Hiding from fear. And, that fear is fear of not being good enough.
c. Stress and overwhelm
This is a domino effect. If you are being a perfectionist. Ensuring that every detail is planned out to the T can result in delay. And it can be very stressful and overwhelming. I get it. I was there too.
Once you have invested in yourself. You will learn, that the journey you are taking or planning to take will take time. And will need patience.
You can still be an overachiever but an overachiever who understands. And have more patience with yourself. It does not have to be perfect, it is all about progress.
3. It is important to invest in yourself because you will live a healthy life.
Investing in yourself gives you access to a lot of knowledge if you are open to learning it. Although, I wanted you to learn one important thing in this equation, and that is YOU.
I spoke with a good friend of mine yesterday. He asked me what I am currently working on.
The conversation started because he wanted to invite me to dinner. When it comes to food, I will accept. (This is my weakness!)
Anyway, he knows that I am always working on something. I told him that I started this blog and posted content weekly.
I am halfway done with my studies to become a motivational speaker. And work, and putting out content. I asked him the same question.
Then he told his current projects. And that he is looking forward to our dinner as he had lost a lot of weight from the diet that he is currently following. Mind you, this man is very knowledgeable. And is health-conscious which reminded me of my current weight.
Vulnerability moment: I gained 25 pounds since October of last year. And haven’t done anything to lose some weight. In my defense, the weight I gained was from being sick back then and I have not set it as a priority to focus on my health.
I told him, to not laugh at me when he sees me because I have gained weight. That is when I got yelled at. Well, reminded I should say. He stopped me midway through speaking and said, “Ernie! You are busy! You are working full time. You cater to everyone who needs your help! At work and outside of work. You have a blog. You are studying. You are managing your social media. Yet you are not giving time to take care of YOU!”
Thank God, for real friends, right? And like I said, this is the journey that I am sharing with you.
I know how important it is to invest in myself and to take care of myself, which I do. But sometimes, we need something or someone who will ‘yell’ at us and tell us the truth.
So, guess what I did. I planned. I went to the grocery store, bought healthy food. Promised to lessen carbs and sweets and exercise at least three times a week.
I have been in my personal development journey for a few years now. Like I said earlier, in any journey that you take, the most important person on the equation is YOU.
So, it is important to remember that living a healthy life is part of the journey. Why?
Because like what my friend told me with the rest of my conversation with him.
I may be able to do all the things I am doing now, but it will catch on to me.
And if I don’t take care of myself enough. Who will go through ‘my’ journey? No one!
4. It is important to invest in yourself because it will give you more confidence.
Confidence is a vital asset in anyone’s success. Whatever the journey is, if there is no confidence, there will be no progress.
Confidence has a lot of meaning, but I love how Mel Robin defined it.
“Confidence is having the courage to take action and do it over and over again.”
Like the competent confidence loop. Taking action will help you become competent. Once you have done it over and over to a point where you can do it even when with your eyes close. That is where confidence is.
So, investing in yourself; taking the time to learn, making an effort to do it over again give you more confidence.
Dr. John Maxwell had mentioned so many times that “anything we do the first time will not be perfect”. So, if we invest in ourselves, there is no other way but up.
5. It is important to invest in yourself because it will get you closer to your desires.
I love when John Maxwell said, “some people have uphill hopes, but downhill habits”. Meaning some people want to dream high but are not willing to go through the hardship of getting there.
Which is, to be honest, true. It’s the same with investing money in comparison to getting the information for free. We live in a world of instant gratification.
You wanted food, you don’t have to go to the store, you can grab your phone and have it delivered to your doorstep.
You wanted to watch a movie, you don’t have to go to the movie theatre, you can sit on your couch and buy the movie there.
These are valid things that are beneficial to us but at the same time, investment is still required. Which is money.
What do I mean by investing in yourself will get you closer to your desires though?
Let me give you a specific example. I am confident that this example will give you the message of this post.
One of my desires was to create a blog where I can pour my knowledge and share my journey with you. Also to motivate you to go through your own journey.
As easy as that may sound, it was not an easy journey. Why?
It was not easy because, in order for me to gain knowledge, I have to go through hardship. I have to go through the experience, I have to go through the struggles. I invested in courses. Read books. listened to podcasts and learned from them. When I felt stuck by myself, I invested in hiring a coach. Where I learned more about myself. Started my healing journey. And added more practices that helps me now to become the person I wanted to become.
I, later on, learned that I wanted to make an impact, hence the blog idea came up.
I have no knowledge of how to build a website, let alone a blog. I invested money, time, and effort in learning how to build it.
Learned how to build a website. How to add images, what images to put, to come up with good quality images, and most of all to type up each content every week.
And here it is now.
If I did not invest in myself, If I did not invest time, money, energy in myself. This blog, this website will not come to the surface.
So gorgeous therefore it is important, that any journey you want to take, needs to start with YOU. It is important that you invest in yourself first.
I would love to know your input on this post. Feel free to comment below.
